AIBU to be angry colleague questioned my hours after surgery?

[ChompandaGrazie]

I’m really mad about a situation with my job, and I’m not sure if it’s justified or if I’m letting my current stressed state cloud my judgement.

I have recently had an auxiliary abscess drained under general anaesthetic. It’s not a pleasant experience; particularly not when you get an inexperienced student nurse packing your wound 😣 but that’s not really relevant! I could have been signed off work for two weeks, but I have a huge project on and I couldn’t bring myself to disappear for that long, so I actually only took three days off.

However, whilst I’m back at work, the dressing needs changing daily, by a nurse. In the usual circumstances I’d be off, so could go any time, but obviously I can’t do that when going into the office. My GP’s surgery has been very understanding and has sorted it so I can be seen either very early or as late as possible. Because they've been good enough to sort this, I also need to be flexible, so it’s meant arriving late at work some days and leaving early others.

I cleared this with my boss (although given I’m doing him a huge favour by even being at work at the moment, he didn’t have a lot of choice). He just said to let the team know what was going on so they’d know why if I wasn’t available. I emailed everyone and had assumed they’d all seen it, given nobody asked anything and that they knew I’d been in hospital.

However, I found out this morning that one of my colleagues, Susan, had commented when I wasn’t there “So is Chomp just setting her own hours now? You never know when she’ll arrive, she leaves early - when’s she actually supposed to be here?” I should add at this point that Susan is always a bit over-involved in what others are doing: comments if someone is late, wants to know where they were if a call came in and they weren’t at their desk etc.. She’s got it into her head that she’s some kind of office manager, and has affixed a kind of seniority to her position that doesn’t really exist.

The colleague who told me what she’d said put her straight about my medical appointments, but I still re-forwarded my original email to everyone saying “Just in case anyone missed it first time that means you, Susan, you bitch”. I laid it on a bit thick, thanking everyone for their support.

I’m just really annoyed and wondering if I should take it further. Even if Susan hadn’t seen the email, she knows I’ve been in hospital; it surely couldn’t be that difficult to put two and two together. I don’t really have to tell her or anyone about my medical circumstances, but was happy to avoid any confusion (or at least that was the plan). I wasn’t forced back to work, but it would have caused major problems if I had taken a fortnight off. Now I feel like instead of people being grateful, I feel like I’m being punished for taking a poxy hour or so a day to get medical treatment - by someone who doesn’t even have to authority to dictate my hours.

Do I say something, or is it just because I’m still feeling a bit crappy and fed up and I should let it pass?

This... I wouldn't ignore it.. Susan needs to be told to back off... by your boss and hers.

I feel your pain . I had an abscess drained in my breast many years ago and it was extremely painful, both the wound and the packing of it daily . I was off work for several weeks as I had a very physical job and if my boob had been knocked at any time I would have screamed.
You are trying to do the right thing about your work but you need time to heal . Go back off on the sick , you’re not being appreciated by your colleagues.

Susan sounds like the kind of person who likes to gossip and stir behind people's backs. You haven't said anything negative about the rest of the workforce so don't assume the worst. I don't think your colleague should have shared that with you either. It's caused you upset and there's no evidence it goes beyond Susan having a moan.

Lots of shit stirring jobsworths in this thread.

OP - you're right to be annoyed, Susan was trying to get you in shit for slacking off and doesn't have either the empathy or the literacy skills to have understood you're recovering from surgery and may well have agreed reduced hours. You shouldn't necessarily do anything about it because it's a bit of a non-issue but it needs to be documented in some way so you have a record, since Susan is clearly trying to undermine you.

Susan needs to wind her neck in and mind her own. If I was you, I’d raise it to your manager framed as I’m only annoyed but the impact on others could be much worse.

I’ve had time off intermittently this week because I’ve had a miscarriage. I really want to work to feel a bit normal but it’s a struggle at times, both physically and emotionally. I’m lucky my colleagues are lovely because I couldn’t cope with a Susan right now and she’d have plenty to discuss with my vague “I’m unwell” explanation!!

You said is often disruptive but can also be the norm that people get on with. We don’t even know what OP does, what the colleagues do or much about the workplace. In some it’s entirely normal to be around people who work full time but start and finish at different times, various part time hours distributed differently, colleagues who are in and out of the office on work related matters while others are based in the office all day.

I’ve already tried to answer it but you claim not to “get it”. When someone else is leaving and arriving at random times it can be a real pain in the arse - obviously this depends on your job and what the norm is but given you say you only came back to work due to a major project, maybe Susan thinks it’s annoying that you’re randomly not available or contactable at different times each day because you keep having to leave for appointments 🤷‍♀️

Oh I agree, but OP is the one claiming she doesn’t understand how on earth someone leaving and arriving at totally random times each day could possibly be found to be disruptive…

Lots of workplaces have set hours and if someone randomly isn’t there at opening or closing it can cause a real nuisance to other people.

This is true.

@ChompandaGrazie

Jeez, I’m surprised at some of the comments! You didn’t want to drop your work in it, and you felt like you’d manage. That’s fine. I just hope you would have taken more time if you felt you needed it.

Susan needs to wind her neck in, and if you’ve got the balls and energy, maybe confront her on it, but your colleague did that for you, and like you say, you don’t want to drop them in it.

You know what Susan is like. Probably best just to let it go and heal.

Susan needs to wind her neck in and mind her own.

For all OP knows, the conversation could have gone:

Susan; Why is Chomp swanning in and out whenever she feels like it? Colleague: Because she's on a medical schedule. Did you not see the email? Susan: Oh, god yeah, soz, I forgot. What am I like? Silly me.
Colleague: Oi, Chomp, Chomp! Guess what Susan said now....! But I set her straight. (Yay me!)

The point is, OP only knows what colleague told her. And now she is mad. If not had heard, would not be mad.

(Waits for OP to implode 😂)

I don’t “claim” not to get it - I genuinely don’t. You keep saying it’s obvious, but won’t say why it’s obvious. You also are completely ignoring that the alternative would be no availability for two weeks.

Exactly! How on earth @catslovehairties thinks people cope with things like part-time colleagues, flexi-time, off-site meetings etc., I really don’t know. Apparently working age adults can’t handle it if not everyone is in the office at the exact times they are. Madness!

But did it ever occur to you that I might know just a little bit more about my own workplace than you do?

Absolutely this! Always remember that your employer is merely your employer, not your friend. Loyalty to an employer is very laudable, but is often misplaced.

They'll be happy enough for you to put in extra hours, to work through your lunch breaks, do unpaid overtime and to go into work when you're supposed to be signed off sick because it suits the business. But you'll receive no loyalty from them in return. You are merely a resource or an asset, nothing more.

You should have taken the medical advice and taken 2 weeks off.

Quite possibly - but it’s not really relevant to Susan’s behaviour, is it?

If you have a copy of the email, take it up with HR. She needs to know where her boundaries are in context of what's expected when speaking to and about colleagues but also the boundaries of her job.

You’re right, OP did get the information secondhand but I stand by my original comment that she should wind her neck in! 😂

If she was asking without an attitude, the conversation could have gone:
Susan: I’ve noticed Chomp’s doing different hours, is she ok/have I missed something?
Colleague: She’s on a medical schedule after her surgery.
Susan: oh yeh I forgot/didn’t know.
Colleague doesn’t go off to tell Chomp because there’s nothing to tell except Susan is scatty or doesn’t read all her emails.

I’d assume someone keeping different hours had a reason so my only question, if I asked any, would be “do you know what hours Chomp is generally in atm so I can make sure I catch her”. Maybe not everyone defaults to that assumption but you can still ask the question in a tactful way.

I'm not ignoring it. I would rather have someone off completely for two weeks to recover than have them flitting in and out.

So why did you ask if you're just going to get defensive and snippy with anyone who doesn't agree with you? 😂