AIBU to be angry colleague questioned my hours after surgery?

[ChompandaGrazie]

I’m really mad about a situation with my job, and I’m not sure if it’s justified or if I’m letting my current stressed state cloud my judgement.

I have recently had an auxiliary abscess drained under general anaesthetic. It’s not a pleasant experience; particularly not when you get an inexperienced student nurse packing your wound 😣 but that’s not really relevant! I could have been signed off work for two weeks, but I have a huge project on and I couldn’t bring myself to disappear for that long, so I actually only took three days off.

However, whilst I’m back at work, the dressing needs changing daily, by a nurse. In the usual circumstances I’d be off, so could go any time, but obviously I can’t do that when going into the office. My GP’s surgery has been very understanding and has sorted it so I can be seen either very early or as late as possible. Because they've been good enough to sort this, I also need to be flexible, so it’s meant arriving late at work some days and leaving early others.

I cleared this with my boss (although given I’m doing him a huge favour by even being at work at the moment, he didn’t have a lot of choice). He just said to let the team know what was going on so they’d know why if I wasn’t available. I emailed everyone and had assumed they’d all seen it, given nobody asked anything and that they knew I’d been in hospital.

However, I found out this morning that one of my colleagues, Susan, had commented when I wasn’t there “So is Chomp just setting her own hours now? You never know when she’ll arrive, she leaves early - when’s she actually supposed to be here?” I should add at this point that Susan is always a bit over-involved in what others are doing: comments if someone is late, wants to know where they were if a call came in and they weren’t at their desk etc.. She’s got it into her head that she’s some kind of office manager, and has affixed a kind of seniority to her position that doesn’t really exist.

The colleague who told me what she’d said put her straight about my medical appointments, but I still re-forwarded my original email to everyone saying “Just in case anyone missed it first time that means you, Susan, you bitch”. I laid it on a bit thick, thanking everyone for their support.

I’m just really annoyed and wondering if I should take it further. Even if Susan hadn’t seen the email, she knows I’ve been in hospital; it surely couldn’t be that difficult to put two and two together. I don’t really have to tell her or anyone about my medical circumstances, but was happy to avoid any confusion (or at least that was the plan). I wasn’t forced back to work, but it would have caused major problems if I had taken a fortnight off. Now I feel like instead of people being grateful, I feel like I’m being punished for taking a poxy hour or so a day to get medical treatment - by someone who doesn’t even have to authority to dictate my hours.

Do I say something, or is it just because I’m still feeling a bit crappy and fed up and I should let it pass?

You did not have to go into work

Are you insured to be at work, if you are signed off sick ?

Refer all comments & colleagues to your manager

The reality is that there is always someone who has an opinion when someone else is off. It’s the nature of workplace politics doesn’t make it ok but it is what it is. And if she’s said something to colleagues then presumably those colleagues just brushed her off or said about the email. So no, it’s not bullying, it’s just gossip.

And the colleague who felt the need to repeat it is a shitstirrer.

Should she have said it? No probably not, but be honest, are you upset because she’s questioned the hours or are you actually upset because you were hoping for some recognission of the fact that you’ve gone above and beyond to get back to work ASAP, having to be seen coming in early or going home early to have dressings changed? Because the reality is nobody is going to think that. Rushing back to work can seem a bit performative, the need to be a martyr, and wanting people to think “look at her, isn’t she great? She’s had surgery and she’s back already.”

When actually nobody really cares. To others, either you’re in work or you’re not. And nobody is indispensible. There’s no recognition in going above and beyond for an employer, they’d get rid of you just as quickly as they’d get rid of anyone else if they were in that position.

So if you were told you should have two weeks off then you should have had two weeks off.

I didn't know how to vote because you are simultaneously being unreasonable and reasonable. Reasonable to be annoyed but unreasonable to take it further - your colleagues stood up for you to a busy body and your boss knows, just ignore her.

Although take the sick leave next time - no project is worth risking your health and no one is irreplaceable! Take care OP.

You'd think for being such a busybody, Susan would be better at checking her work emails!

I hope you feel better OP. Susan sounds like a right PITA, we should not have to deal with people like this in this heat.

as previous experience of a "Susan", id ignore it, because however you word it they will twist it

Thank you everyone. I think those who have said it could all come across as a bit “he said, she said” probably have a point. I also wouldn’t want to drop the colleague who told me in it, so I think I’ll leave it for now.

Susan has made herself look like a twat but I wouldn't invest any more of your recovery time thinking about her. She's been put straight now, but she's made herself look very bad with the way she expressed it.

You’re a better person than me if you could hear that someone was bitching about you and not let it bother you

It’s bullying. My last office had one of these. Nit picking over who was doing what. Keeping a book of comings and goings. Management did nothing. (Public sector so pretty standard)

This. Sorry OP. Hope you feel better soon but there really are no rewards for this sort of thing. Take the full recommended recovery time off next time.

Susan a bitch and you’ve handled it well. Any more shit from her and report her to HR

TBH you are your own worst enemy. While it may have been inconvenient and the project would have suffered you have chosen to drag yourself into work when you should be at home recuperating. No one, but no one is indispensable.

Your health takes priority over any job, at the end of the day you are a number, say the op and everything else has taken it out of you and get a doctors note. I’ve been at work long enough to know the ones who go the extra mile get no more thought of than the ones who work to rule. Look after your own physical and mental health, the work will still be there when you get back.

Not unreasonable at all, every office has a Susan! I was having cancer treatment years ago and had to leave work early for it. One of my colleagues made a similar comment, i wish I'd been there for the backlash he got from the rest of the office!

Nailed it!

This, then get signed off a further two weeks because of anxiety coming back to Susan! 🤣

When I had an abscess on my side, near the armpit, the surgery was quick. The recovery was mental. Months (yes, months) of various antibiotics, with the poor retired nurse next door coming in and dressing every day. Gallons of goop on a daily basis. This went on for 7 months. Eventually, I did two weeks in hospital on intravenous antibiotics. The fact that you went back to work was impressive. Susan can go fuck herself 🙂

It is annoying but if everyone else has been supportive and she’s known for being a general pain in the arse anyway then leave her to it. It only reflects badly on her.

If you died you would be replaced tomorrow don't ever put your job above your health you should of took the 2 weeks off. As for Susan either ignore or ask her what her problem is.

Absolutely belting first line to first reply @Arlanymor🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Susan is obviously an arsehole.
Time off to attend medical appointments is between you and your boss and you have let people know.
However i also think you need to take some of the responsibility for creating the situation in the first place, if you should have been off for two weeks going back after 3 days was stupid, and your work should have said no really.
Nobody is indispensable, if you aren’t well enough to be at work then stay at home next time.

The person who told you is the shitstirrer here. They shouldn't have told you. Maybe you should consider taking a week off as suggested upthread. No one ever gets a medal for returning to work early.
If you really want to say anything to Susan, you could say 'I've heard that you've a problem with me going to have my dressings changed/my medical appts, is that true?' Then she'll either back down or discuss it with you. Either way she'll be aware that if she gossips then it will get back to you.

Sorry you're having to have this added to having had an abscess esp coping with it in these temperatures.

I would say something to your manager. Susan needs to be put in her place.

I am struggling to understand why your manager felt you needed to tell the team ‘what was going on’ .

It’s personal. By all means tell your team you will be in & out. If you share calendars, block out the time for your appointments.

Susan is a witch, but she never needed to know what was going on at any point.

I wouldn’t take it further at this point, but I don’t rate your manager in this at all. And I agree wih pps - next time, just take the time your medical team advise.

How foolish you are to put yourself under such pressure when in pain.

This is the thanks you get, nadda.

Just some unpleasant comment.

I think you should rethink your decision and rest up.

That wagons card would be so marked by me.

You could go back to your manager and say that you are in huge pain and some comments have got back to you about your attendance and you realise no one is being served well by your sacrifice.
Fxxk him and Susan.