AIBU to be angry colleague questioned my hours after surgery?

[ChompandaGrazie]

I’m really mad about a situation with my job, and I’m not sure if it’s justified or if I’m letting my current stressed state cloud my judgement.

I have recently had an auxiliary abscess drained under general anaesthetic. It’s not a pleasant experience; particularly not when you get an inexperienced student nurse packing your wound 😣 but that’s not really relevant! I could have been signed off work for two weeks, but I have a huge project on and I couldn’t bring myself to disappear for that long, so I actually only took three days off.

However, whilst I’m back at work, the dressing needs changing daily, by a nurse. In the usual circumstances I’d be off, so could go any time, but obviously I can’t do that when going into the office. My GP’s surgery has been very understanding and has sorted it so I can be seen either very early or as late as possible. Because they've been good enough to sort this, I also need to be flexible, so it’s meant arriving late at work some days and leaving early others.

I cleared this with my boss (although given I’m doing him a huge favour by even being at work at the moment, he didn’t have a lot of choice). He just said to let the team know what was going on so they’d know why if I wasn’t available. I emailed everyone and had assumed they’d all seen it, given nobody asked anything and that they knew I’d been in hospital.

However, I found out this morning that one of my colleagues, Susan, had commented when I wasn’t there “So is Chomp just setting her own hours now? You never know when she’ll arrive, she leaves early - when’s she actually supposed to be here?” I should add at this point that Susan is always a bit over-involved in what others are doing: comments if someone is late, wants to know where they were if a call came in and they weren’t at their desk etc.. She’s got it into her head that she’s some kind of office manager, and has affixed a kind of seniority to her position that doesn’t really exist.

The colleague who told me what she’d said put her straight about my medical appointments, but I still re-forwarded my original email to everyone saying “Just in case anyone missed it first time that means you, Susan, you bitch”. I laid it on a bit thick, thanking everyone for their support.

I’m just really annoyed and wondering if I should take it further. Even if Susan hadn’t seen the email, she knows I’ve been in hospital; it surely couldn’t be that difficult to put two and two together. I don’t really have to tell her or anyone about my medical circumstances, but was happy to avoid any confusion (or at least that was the plan). I wasn’t forced back to work, but it would have caused major problems if I had taken a fortnight off. Now I feel like instead of people being grateful, I feel like I’m being punished for taking a poxy hour or so a day to get medical treatment - by someone who doesn’t even have to authority to dictate my hours.

Do I say something, or is it just because I’m still feeling a bit crappy and fed up and I should let it pass?

What are you looking to achieve?

It doesn't sound like she's caused any damage to you and she's made herself look like a bitchy fool who doesn't know what's going on.

I don't think you'd be wrong to speak with your manager about it if you think they'd do something, because having people like that in the office is tedious. But I wouldn't expect a lot from it.

I'd probably keep my powder dry and bring it up sometime she's trying to push her self-appointed office manager position with something along the lines of "Are you sure, Susan? You're not exactly known for staying on top of everything, are you?"

The only person who looks like they have done something wrong is Susan, because the rest of your colleagues read the email the first time you sent it and probably appreciate you coming in. Anyone who heard her complaining about your time keeping will have thought she's a twit.

I'd be snapping the nosy cows head off and would be asking her in front of the whole office when she got promoted , ask her when she became your boss as she thinks she can comment on your business
I wouldn't be letting her oft

If this Susan is not your LM or has any authority over you, let her stew! She can get her knickers in a twist about your absences but you owe her no explanation. Let her self-combust!

You should have taken the 2 weeks off. They would have managed.

I’d contact the GP and get a ‘fit to work with adjustment’ backdated to the surgery. Did it myself recently. My adjustment is to work from home @ChompandaGrazie can you do something similar? I might mention to my boss (in your shoes) “that Susan has been stirring it and what’s the deal with her thinking she’s in charge anyway” see what they say

I would be shouting to her across a crowded office that you understand she has concerns about your hours but you have cleared your post surgery needs with your boss in order to come back earlier than recommended. But you are happy to discuss her concerns together with the boss if that helps her understand?

The person who told you is the shitstirrer here. They shouldn't have told you.

I’d rather know what people are saying about me. You can’t be a shit stirrer if there’s no shit to stir.

Imagine being jealous of a colleague having an abscess!

If Susan had said that to me about you, I would have put her straight but not told you. What would be the point? Unless....unless, I was also thinking, hmm, yeah, Chomp's taking the piss a bit. Or unless, unless, I liked a bit of a gossip, or, unless unless, I hated Susan so wanted to dump her in it. Or unless, unless, I was a bit of a shit stirrer. Colleague has stirred your shit for sure. Why?!

you should’ve taken sick leave, the company won’t care that you are putting yourself out for them and neither will most of your colleagues.

when you need a favour from them you won’t get it

You really need to take the appointments seriously. If you can’t easily make them happen you need to go off sick. The project will survive without you

i was able to work from home and had a trainee actually pat down hard on my wound after he’d cleaned and replaced the dressing. I swear my head touched the roof!

months later I’m going through Bupa to try and reduce the pain. Please take this seriously

This is quite an… extreme response.

Ignore. Everybody will already know what Susan is like, they have probably been on the end of Susans interfering and comments previously themselves. If anything, they will probably be even more supportive and even more wary of Susan now.

Youbdidbthebroght thing. But I would go one step further and loudly approach her and say you are just checking she had seen your email as you have been told she was concerned about your timekeeping. Z I would pull her up innit and suggest if she has an issue next time perhaps she should approach you or your boss directly but that it really is none of her business. I hate people like her. Every office has one and they think they have more status than they do. Why do people tolerate them? I absolutely don’t and won’t

I work with a Susan. I keep her close enough that she always accidentally unveils her plans but distant enough as she’s an untrustworthy cow who’s out to better herself by demeaning others.
don’t bother getting annoyed, build alliances. I take true joy in ruining all of Susan’s plans as she’s too full of herself to realise her own shortcomings

Hmmm you are in pain, should be at home but are people pleasing to an extent and I get that. Id also be using the pain and grumpiness to call her out publicly.

Susan, is there an issue we need to discuss about my current working arrangement cleared by the manager........that has fuck all to do with you but ive emailed, twice now!????

She wont learn if shes not called out......

Absolutely!

If I were you, I would say to respond to the previous email and say “ Instead of checking when I m in or out maybe check your emails? And I would also attach a photo
of the wound” I love making people like her uncomfortable!

You should have just taken proper time off to recover and let them deal with it.

I think you should politely speak to Susan. Say you have heard she was questioning your working hours, that you sent a couple of emails but to be clear, this is the scenario. Add that you are making a big effort in order not to let down colleagues. You can say it in a clear and non- confrontational way.

You need to be re-signed off - you said you’re in pain still and if you need dressings changed daily you haven’t healed.

And Susan is a busybody - I have worked w people like that. Just ignore her.

You should have taken the time off you needed to heal. The risk of picking up an infection (and then needing even longer off) will be greater because you kept working rather than resting.

That said your colleague is mean.

It’s okay to be angry but also you were silly to only take 3 days off and then go back to work. Go back to your GP, tell them you’re struggling and get yourself signed off properly.

Nobody appreciates a martyr.

Susan is a dick. I had this. Took 10 weeks to heal, 10 weeks of chasing nurses around the borough daily. You have my sympathy. Mine was called Clive (the cyst). Clive was also a dick. Sending prompt healing wishes.