Hubbys job at risk because of family

[Pickybitsheatwave]

DH trusted his brother with his Clubcard employee card. He gave it to his partner to use as she was doing the food shops. She’s been caught twice stealing with a trolley full and hubby is now being investigated at work. Apparently BIL knew she had a habit with stealing as he already pre warned her not to use the card if she is going to be stealing. I should add that they are very comfortable and don’t need to be stealing. She is the other woman and I have never been able to gel with her. Now i can’t bare the thought of being around her even more. DH is in a management role so i can imagine they are going to take this very seriously.

I feel like DH is downplaying it all because he doesn’t want to rock the boat but I am fuming!!!

Am I over reacting? Hubby says he didn’t want to tell me because he knew I’d over react. She’s potentially put my husband at risk of losing his job.

He will never own a clubcard again.

Lots of naivety on this thread about how it may be ‘successful’ to lie about it. It’s not Tesco’s job to prove the thick husband had his card stolen by his brother or the SIL. They won’t give a shit about that. Maybe if it was some random trying to use the card on the other side of the world or country, then OK that’s different.

This is a really, really bad idea. It's daft enough going down the 'Oh my in-laws must have stolen it' route when it's quite possible that the employer will be able to check CCTV data to see who actually used the card on previous occasions. But to also involve the police by accusing the in-laws of a(nother) crime, when you know full well no such crime has been committed, well...that's called perverting the course of justice. The police and courts tend to take that very seriously, and could open up a whole other world of pain.

Unfortunately it's mess up, 'fess up time. Do what the employment lawyer a few pages back advised, administer an almighty bollocking to your dozy husband, and pray.

Oh yes that house of cards (no pun intended) would collapse in double quick time.

Haven’t read all 11 pages but a family member has worked for tescos for 20 years. He has a card as does his partner who lives at the same address. It’s separate from his and in her name.
I am genuinely shocked that someone in management at the store should think it acceptable to give his discount card to someone else and that no-one will be any the wiser. The rules are clearly stated when you receive the discount card and as far as I know misuse is a disciplinary offence. A fairly new staff member might be able to plead ignorance of the rules, a manager - no way,
What I can’t understand however is how if the sister in law didn’t pay for the trolley of goods she stole it has been linked to the OP’s husband - unless of course she produced the card to pay when challenged, and if so as well as being a thief she obviously not as clever as she thinks she is
Sadly I suspect a P45 might be on the way for the OP’s husband and that he will end up paying a heavy price for what he thought was an act of kindness to his brother who chose to hand the card over to his partner who he knew couldn’t always be relied upon to be honest.
If I was the OP’s husband despite the initial mistake of giving the card to my brother I’d find it very hard to be civil to him or his theiving partner ever again.

I hope it works out in his favour they have been terrible to put him at risk like this but what a nightmare to lend it to them in the first place he should have just asked for a family card

And FYI, there is a Tribunal publication on the misuse of "thank you" vouchers which you might find interesting to google.

Basically the company concluded that it was gross misconduct and met the threshold for a number of reasons, some of which have parallels with your husbands story, and that dismissal decision was upheld by two internal appeals and was unsuccessfully challenged at Tribunal.

So it gives you an idea of the sort of arguments and thinking.

Any lying about the situation is going to massively back fire and kick DH in the teeth.

My friends sister worked for M&S for thirty years. Friend had three children could use a family card. She'd never have abused this benefit and risked her sis

You clearly haven't read the thread properly as Tesco already know about it. They're the ones who approached DH.

Sharing discount card would be instant dismissal at the retailer I work for. Surely your DH knew that

As a former employee of a big retailer, I don't think HR will accept this:

1. Employee breached the policy as soon as they handed over their card to someone else (who was not a nominated user) to use. Employer doesn't care that you were in a rush or on a yellow line.

2. Even if they did accept that excuse, it was DH's responsibility to get the card back immediately afterwards. He enabled BIL/SIL to continue using the card by giving it to them and not getting it back.

The horrors persist 😱

OP is probably a bit more worried about the household losing one person's income while the job market is dire, and her husband being unemployable.

@Pickybitsheatwave so sorry, it doesn't look good for him.

It really could. Another thing is that I bet the terms of the card are such that it is actually the property of the employer. So even if the husband doesn't want to go down the route of falsely accusing the in-laws of a crime, the employer might say they want to which still gets the husband in a right tangle. So you're left with concocting a cock-and-bull story about the card accidentally falling into SIL's bag and her using it by accident or something like that, and hoping the person investigating was born yesterday. People investigating misconduct claims against management generally weren't born yesterday, so it really does look like lying is a foolish route to take.

BIL not DH we only just found this out.

This ! Your DH is a fool

@Pickybitsheatwave The stealing by your SIL is not the issue. It's a red-herring. If he loses his job it will be because HE handed the card to someone else, against the strict rules of the supermarket, not because the SIL was caught both using HIS card and stealing. She will be dealt with for the stealing, but she should NEVER have been given the card in the first place. I'm sorry, but you are being quite unfair to say that your SIL is the reason why your DH may lose his job.

This happened to my sister when she used to work for Sainsburys, however nobody did any stealing, my step dad just used the wrong employee discount card. She got let off with a warning.

Maybe because it was a one off, and your Dad actually had a valid card he should have used.

Yes DH is at fault no denying that. Im just disgusted that she went there filled a whole trolley up and then swiped my husbands card the cheek of it! BIL has apologised but I think it’s disgusting. We have three kids and at not one moment she thought about that. Vile

I am sorry to say that your DH may well lose his job. Benefits such as the discount card usually have conditions and rules attached to avoid abuse; if your DH has breached any of these he will probably be dismissed following a disciplinary process, especially as he is in a management role where he is supposed to set a good example.

Did your DH know, at the time BIL had possession of the card, that he was passing it onto his own DP to use.....or did he only find out after this happened? If he knew all along that makes it even worse.

Your BIL has really taken advantage of his brother and let him down. His partner sounds like a horrible person with no morals at all, but that is really beside the point. I think your DH's best chance now is to hold his hands up, admit fault and apologise for allowing untrustworthy people to access the card; he may just get away with a written warning if he is open and honest from now on.

My DH was a manager there and your DH has been really stupid, they have very clear rules on the use of the employee clubcard. I think he's minimising the trouble he is likely to be in. He could very easily have got a card in his brother's name, as when I 'lost' mine when DH moved jobs my sibling who also worked was able to apply to get their second card in my name.

He shouldn't have given his card to his brother even if his wife wasn't a thief.

I don't think serial shoplifters think much about other people.

Op, you'll be pleased to know that I'm not going to join the pile on re gross misconduct! But I am curious to know exactly what his brother and SIL have to say about the disciplinary proceedings. Simply saying sorry obviously isn't enough so what are they saying about the fact that he's likely to lose his job? Have they gone into hiding? Are they saying it's not their problem? Are the brothers' parents aware of what has happened, and, if so, what do they have to say?