AIBU to tell my friend her partner sent me an explicit photo

[Anyusernamewilldo8963]

Just woken up to find my best mates partner has sent me a dick pic with a message saying he wants me 🤢🤮 I have to tell her don't I

It didn't for me.

I'd seen that my flasher had sent and deleted a load of messages, so when I saw it flash (pun not intended, but proud of it nonetheless 🤣) up I screenshot it like a ninja - good job too as it was deleted in seconds.

He clearly got off on sending them but deleted because he was ultimately aware it was illegal.

The police were fine with my screenshot, came to see it, and asked me to keep it until resolved, just in case it went to court.

I don't think I would tell her. I'd pretend it never happened. Too too embarrassing. I expect it was a mistake.

Sending unsolicited sexually explicit or pornographic images to an unsuspecting woman is a criminal offense in the UK. He is a dirty perv. Your friend deserves better.

And that’s how they get away with it.

He blew up her life not you.

Yep I’m always accidentally taking photos of my vulva and sending it to my DH’s best mate.

And that's how creeps get away with it
Sheesht wee wifey and sweep it under the carpet.
Nope the friend needs to know.

I can sympathise with the feeling. But if every woman behaved like that then sexual harassment would always go unchallenged. The OP should remember she has done absolutely nothing wrong so is not embarrassed by her own behaviour.

I actually think this is a form of sexual abuse, like flashing. What a repulsive man.
If you have the courage I'd be tempted to get together with both of them, somewhere he can't run away, and then confront him. You could forewarn your friend so she's prepared. Two against one. This may be childish but I'd want to see the cowardly little bastard squirm and wriggle.
In any case, yes, tell her.

An old friend of mine was in this position. We agreed we would both want to be told if it was our partner so she told her friend and sent the screenshots and her friend fell out with her. I know there are people saying they didn’t/wouldn’t, but you really do need to be prepared for this being the outcome. You need to be prepared to be called a liar, shit stirrer, possibly even crazy.

It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell her, and I personally would as I would want someone to tell me. Or you could take it straight to the police and she might find out through the investigation? But if I was going to tell the police, I might still tell her as a heads up. Sorry you’ve been put in this position. It’s awful.

eta in my friend’s case, the man had initiated a conversation (so knew full well who he was talking to) and then when my friend told him she was sending the screenshots to his girlfriend (one of her closest friends) he was begging her not to so all very incriminating and she sent screenshots of all that too. Her friend still never spoke to her again and went around telling everyone my friend had made it up for attention. It was awful. Some people have a vested interest in believing lies.

I think Reporting to the police is just daft. He will be mortified when he wakes up. He was probably drunk after watching the football. Do you really want to go that far. I think you will lose your friend and embarrass the kids. As they will find out somehow.
I would just message him back saying how disgusting he is and Never to do it again. I think friend will also turn on you if you make such a bug deal of it.
Yes its gross that men do this. Totally out of order. But think about the aftermath.

Who on earth mistakingly sends a picture of their penis to a partners friend?

He should have thought about the aftermath? Why is it his victim’s job to cover for him?

I suppose the question is what would you do if a random had posted this to you? If you'd report it to the police then that's what you should do in this case, if you'd just delete it and block the number then that's what you should do in this case.
Let him sweat on what you are going to do.

Initially I thought it must be a mistake, based on OP's description of the cordial and non-flirty face to face interactions. But if penis guy has previously sought her out on two separate social media platforms and DM'd her, then he obviously fancies her. The timing means he was probably pissed, maybe dozens lucky ladies in the area got one.

I think I would reluctantly tell my friend that she is with a horrible stalky pervert.

DO NOT forward the image to her. that would be sharing an intimate image without consent - which is potentially an offence regardless of how it ended up in your phone or how understandable the reason for forwarding it. This can be addressed without the photo itself being shown

PS I agree you should tell her

Wow - it’s ok to flash folk as he’s a bit drunk. It isn’t ok, it’s a criminal offence, same as standing in front of you and dropping his dick out.

Whether OP does or doesn’t report wasn’t really her main point - it’s about telling her friend. It’s not morally ok to be flashing your wife’s mates either - but you’d be ok with your fella doing it cos he had a few tins on England football night - and ultimately rather not know if he was.

There’s more DA when England plays - is that ok due to the ‘beer’?

Best put Saturday in the calendar for potential dick pics and just hope they don’t get through huh!

No, you mustn’t forward it. Then you’d be breaking the law too!

I would tell your friend, however hard it may be. You can’t keep it from her. He thinks he can ‘cheapen’ you by assuming you would be ‘up for it’ and willing to be disloyal to your friend. Report to the police too.

I did this with one of my exes new Partners and ended up in a police station for sharing explicit photographs. Never mind that he sent it to me in the first place tread very carefully.

Poor poor chap, got drunk and just had to flash his dick to his wife’s best friend. Such a real shame, he must be mortified-not! It is not OPs responsibility to ensure that he doesn’t have the repercussions of his actions here. I have never whilst drunk taken a picture of my fanny. Equally, I have never sent a picture of said fanny to one of DHs friends. He doesn’t get a pass because of football drinking.

I don't think the police are going to visit anyone over sending an unsolicited dick pic. It happens all the time, unfortunately, and it's an absolute bane, but i'd be stunned if there's any forces that have the manpower to visit people.

They'll tell OP to delete and block him.

Exactly this. I also don't understand people who are saying don't tell her / don't report him. Where would you draw the line? If he groped you? Punched you in the face? OP, he is relying on you not telling her for precisely this reason.

If you want to tread as lightly as possible re your friend you might say to her, "Your DH sent me a photograph on TikTok that I very much hope and expect was meant for you. I won't forward as it's very explicit but you're obviously welcome to have a look on my phone if you like. Hopefully just a mistake and incredibly embarrassing for all concerned but didn't want you to be the only one unaware!"