AIBU to tell my friend her partner sent me an explicit photo

[Anyusernamewilldo8963]

Just woken up to find my best mates partner has sent me a dick pic with a message saying he wants me 🤢🤮 I have to tell her don't I

I think it's absolutely abhorrent when a man sends a picture of his privates without consent. Just something about it feels so forceful, violating and wrong.
You had no choice in the matter. It was just there when you opened the message and saw it with no warning. Vile man. If it was my husband i'd he so disgusted and ashamed he'd done that and put you in this position. Judging by what you've said though, she won't say or do a damn thing about it.

Men know we don't want their disgusting unsolicited dick pics, he's getting off on the shock value.
It turns out my ex was sending them to lots of women, when it came out it was bomb after bomb.
I have a young daughter too and he's only allowed supervised contact with her now.

Why should his partner be ashamed? It's not her shame to carry.

OP has explained that it was sent via TikTok.

Yes, it’s a crime now.

www.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/online-safety/online-safety/cyberflashing/

I said i would be, not she should be.

This to me sounds like you are being quite nasty to your friend as if they were in it together and I don’t think it would make the friend feel grateful to have been given any considerate options receiving this.
I agree with PP childish insults are not the way to go here.

I would reply something bland like "this is an unexpected message" with no emojis. Then if he replies asking if you like it etc then it's total proof he's a bloody creep and he did it on purpose. Obviously you reply then saying it's unacceptable. Then tell and show your friend.

I’d watch the earlier message/video he sent in case it has a bearing on the last one

Are you 100% sure this wasn’t a mistake on his part? If it was me, I’d reply saying WTF? Why have you sent me this? and await his response. If he’s shocked and embarrassed then fine, but if he’s creepy then you should tell your friend asap.

This is good advice and cuts out the bullshit. It will be clear what his intentions were and are. Unless he frames it that he sent it accidentally and then you were coming onto him - ppl like him are capable of all sorts of twisted rubbish. Probably still worth sending that to him anyway as it would show he was faithless regardless, so you can show your friend the kind of man he is either way

I'd forward it to her and say your husband's accidentally sent me this guessing it's for you tell him to be more careful and loads of puking emojis

If she puts WTF he will back pedal bc he’d read that OP was not into him and likely to tell his partner. I’d she’s neutral then she leaves it to him to explain or dig a hole

So it’s all fine and dandy if the message was meant for someone else then ?

I had a local man who had sent me a couple random dms about a Facebook group post back in 2020, suddenly send me a dick pic a couple of months ago.

I reported it, as I had his full name and partial address (lived near my former inlaws) and the police came to see me to tell me my options.

I told them I was happy with a Community Resolution Order so they went and told him, in no uncertain terms, the error of his perverse ways, and made it clear he accepts the order or goes to court. He accepted it. The police came back and told me he was a gibbering wreck. Good.

It is now recorded, but no criminal record. It does show on an enhanced DBS check though.

We don't have to take this shit.

Good luck OP.

You can't forward it because then you become as guilty as them in terms of sharing sexual images.

The police came and viewed my phone at home because even sending it to them would constitute sharing it.

None of my friend's husband's are on messaging terms with me either. None are Facebook friends and I doubt that any of them are on TikTok. I don't have TikTok or Instagram anyway.

Yeah, you’re right. It wasn’t a mistake. He drank too much watching the England game and is trying his luck.

In any case when you tell your friend that will put an end to it.

All the people saying “I’d forward it”, are you mad?

You are then sending explicit images.

Send this as a reply, shit him up a bit …
“AUTOREPLY: We have detected the transmission of unsolicited pornographic images of a potentially illegal nature [code:36489-a] and your device's IP address has been forwarded to the police pending an investigation. If you think this is a mistake, reply STOP”

And ?

I wouldn't respond to him. He will spin this as OP making a move on him, jealous, not getting it. All the usual bs. I'd be in the he sent this in error camp!

No it’s not. It’s a criminal offence to send these pictures and forwarding it to her friend would be illegal.

You should report to the police too. He's committed a crime.

Love this.