AIBU to tell my friend her partner sent me an explicit photo

[Anyusernamewilldo8963]

Just woken up to find my best mates partner has sent me a dick pic with a message saying he wants me 🤢🤮 I have to tell her don't I

Be honest with your friend why try and protect him with a reply maybe this was sent to me by mistake so he has a get out he has flashed at you that is what it is

if your friend wants to make herself believe it was a mistake and this is what he will say then she is only fooling herself but she will know it isn’t

these men make me sick it’s vile behaviour of creeps

I would think many would see through that as fake.

I would report. This happened to me years ago and the photo flashed up on my lock screen at 8am when I was getting my kids ready for school and they saw it on the side. I went nuts as you can imagine. I’m absolutely sick of being forced to see men’s penises without consent and the only way to address it now is by reporting to the police. We’ve been telling men since mobile phones and email were invented we don’t want it!!!

Yes you need to tell her.

He will likely try and say it was a mistake. It wasn't.

Point out two main things.

• You will support her no matter what.
• He committed a crime. You haven't decided yet if you will report this.

You mention you have a DD and that they have a child too I think? That adds another grim element to it I think as like you I'd be worried my child saw it on my phone. Which I'd also be pointing out.

I hope she views this as the straw that broke the camels back. Either way she is lucky to have a supportive friend.

vile man, def tell your friend OP. We’ve had similar in our friendship group and we don’t have anything to do with them now. Unfortunately she believes his excuses. More fool her … I’m sure she’s not happy.

And not that it’s relevant … I have mobile numbers for most of our male friends and we sometimes message … same with DH and our female friends … nothing odd about that.

Arent unsolicited dick pick illegal now? You could just report it to the police?

Whoops didnt read the whole thread (facepalm).

I would tell her and show her. Hopefully she will have the sense to end it.

Tread very carefully, OP. If you’re going to tell your friend I would start by saying you were in two minds over what to do with regard telling her but felt it was better she know than not, Go with the mistake option, that way both of you can come together against him and the (imaginary) woman he meant to send it to.

Your friend is going to feel embarrassed and stupid, even though the shame is not hers to own. If people aren’t ready to deal with things, they will bury their heads and withdraw from the people who know the truth. In this case, that is you. Hope you find a path through, and keep the friendship.

Yes, you do. He put you in this position. Definitely tell her, be aware that the messenger nearly always gets shot so this will probably damage the friendship although you are the innocent.
It’s a horrible position to be in.
My friend got one from her husband’s friend, she didn’t tell her DH. He would have killed his friend, disgusting.

Certain men do this to wreck friendships to distance their partners from their friends.
Some do it because they get off on the reactions (shocked, sickened etc)
Some genuinely think a photo of their knobs make women weak at the knees 🙄

Report to the police and reply to let him know he needs to tell her why the police are interested in him. This is his to carry.

I’d message the male.
Say this is unacceptable and illegal.
Say you have absolutely zero interest in him
If he doesn’t tell your friend you will.
He has until x to sort it.
If he does tell her you’re off the hook, your friendship is safe and she knows what he’s like.
Hopefully he won’t have the nerve to do it to anyone else

Sorry Julie, but Frank sent me a dick pic. I am so sorry that he is such a cunt and treating you this way. Can you ask him to stop any form of contact on any platform. Whatever you want to do after that, I am here for you.

If you don’t tell her and she later finds the message she might assume that you were happy to receive it.

You definitely need to tell her, she's your best mate. They've been together for ages and have a child she's most likely going to come across the message in his phone at some point then will kick off with you for not telling her if you stay quiet about it. He sounds disgusting. I can imagine he's going to try to say that you encouraged him to send it too. Absolutely tell her what a filthy pig her boyfriend is

All these posters saying to message him back and say: "Whoops Kevin, you probably didn't mean to do this!"

Of course he bloody did and he's had hours to retrieve it or make his excuses. He's a pig and the friend deserves to know.

Hope you're ok @Anyusernamewilldo8963 - I'd be tamping. Hope your friend gets back to you swiftly and that ideally you can see her in person to discuss it. If she's a good mate then hopefully you won't get caught in any crossfire. Sorry you're in this position but you're doing the right thing. Ignore the penis apologists. Whoopsie! As if...

He’s sending them to someone!

No one sends messages to their own partner via TikTok messaging, surely?

@Anyusernamewilldo8963 could it have been by accident? Meant for his partner.

Cyber flashing without consent is the offence. Consent can be a grey area - obviously not in your case so an actual offence you could report, but you could forward to your friend if she agrees I think.

I won't be forwarding the message as I want to leave her the option of me reporting him without muddying the waters by me sharing it, I'm not even sure if taking the screenshot will cause any issues?

Deffo tell her then it’s up to her what she does with the information.

If she doesn’t believe you then show her the screenshot. Don’t delete it. I disagree with other posters saying he probably meant to send it to his wife. He either meant to send it to you or another woman (maybe several).

Yes it’s a criminal offence. Ideally I’d want to see her face to face as pp said to discuss, even if you speak on the phone about it. Tricky situation. It won’t be the first time he’s done it I can guarantee that.

I dont think it will. Think if you do report you can tell the police you took a screenshot in case he deleted it.

I’d contact the police. It’s flashing. And let them visit him. It won’t go well if you tell her and it’s not a woman’s job to deal with the illegal behaviour of her husband/partner. Just contact the police. We should not be minimizing these things just because we vaguely know someone.