AIBU to tell my friend her partner sent me an explicit photo

[Anyusernamewilldo8963]

Just woken up to find my best mates partner has sent me a dick pic with a message saying he wants me 🤢🤮 I have to tell her don't I

I think its interesting you say you're "slap bang in the middle of it" because I don't think you are, I think you're on the periphery of it, probably alongside other women he's inappropriately messaging.

Honestly I would just delete it and ignore it and not say anything to anyone. Block him in fact, that will put an end to it.

@AnonymityAnonymity I'm not sure why you think I'm on messaging terms with him? As I said in a PP he would occasionally forward a "funny" video and I mostly didn't reply and if i did it was with a 'lol' or an emoji.

I'm friendly/civil if I see him in person as I don't want my friend to feel awkward but that is as far as our interactions go

I disagree with not saying anything. If you keep it a secret from her when it does all come out, or turns out he has messaged others too and they tell her, she will then think maybe you were interested and happy to get his attention. If you tell her it shows this is not ok, you are not interested and actually wondering wtf is going on.

Not if he's never had a reply. That will show she ignored him.

It didn't include my name and given he sent me a message (a video, no idea what it is as I didn't even watch it, I assume it'll be some funny viral tiktok) I guess he will say he sent the message followed by the explicit pic by accident as I was already at the top/near the top of his list of messages. However given the message and the pic were sent separately he would have had to have made that 'mistake' twice which really dilutes the validity of the excuse in my opinion

I don’t think my husband has any of my close friends phone numbers, that in itself is odd.
I’d tell her and be prepared to lose her friendship, it can be repaired later.

You’ve done the right thing 100%

He doesn't have my phone number, it was sent via tiktok messages and he has previously messaged me on Facebook messenger as I've discussed in previous replies

Ewww. Definitely have to tell her.

Dh has some of my close friends numbers (and I have some of his friends numbers) but for things like messaging to arrange things or give updates. I don’t think it’s odd to have spouses friends numbers.

Id tell her along the lines of 'could you please tell Joe if he sends me another picture of his pathetically small penis ill forward it to the police - i dont care how much he wants me'. That way you are telling her but leaving it all in her court.

This is the safest option.

Tell her ASAP. My disgusting ex husband was doing the same thing. This is more about power and control than anything else. I was unaware as my friend didn't mention it until we had a falling out a couple of years later. I really wish she'd have told me straight away but I never was angry at her, because she was put in an awful position, I was only angry at him.
It turned out my so called lovely husband was capable of a lot worse. The dick pic was the tip of the iceberg.
Does she have children?

Just as an add on as I've read others responses, men know women don't want dick pics. He's getting off on the shock value and power of it.
Tell her and just be straight. Most friends will believe you. If she decides to stay then, so be it, but she deserves to know. Would any of you want to be with a man like this? You wouldn't. She needs to know.
I never doubled my friends for a second. His face when questioned said it all anyway.
I know it'll be difficult OP, and it's an awful position he's put you in, but if you leave it then the heartache is just being prolonged.

@Mamai100 I'm sorry you went through that, and I appreciate you saying you didn't shoot the messenger. Yes they have a DD

You absolutely have to tell her. I’d honestly be livid to have received this and would be letting them both know - her so that she can dump his scuzzy arse, and him because he’s grim 🤢.

Yes, you have to tell her. So sorry that scumbag put you in this position.

Telling her would be the first thing I do today. Not sugar coated. Isn't this a crime now?

I hadn't actually thought about the fact that he has committed a criminal offence by doing this

If this was a text he’d be able to work around it far better by claiming it was meant for your friend and he’d accidentally sent it to you. The fact it was TikTok makes your life easier imo, he can’t claim it was for her because why would he send it on there of all places? The best he could do is say it was for someone else but it doesn’t make his case much better.

The guy is pretty baffling. Did he think you’d see the almighty dick and want to jump on it and betray your friend immediately? I’d love to know which planet he’s from.

Do not forward the sick picture to her. It is an offence. However you need to let her know and if she chooses to ignore the matter say goodbye to your friendship.

It’s most likely that the dick pic wasn’t meant for you and he’s messaging other women on tok tok. Hence the mistake.

But yes she needs to know. You could also speak to him and make it clear to want zero contact or you’ll report him.

you could already report him on tik tok itself.

Why bother insulting his penis there is no need. Just tell her what happened

If you don’t have a friendship with him, or any sort of texting relationship then it seems obvious this is a mistake that it sent to you.

Good luck, Op.

I’d add in your comment to her that she might want to sort it before he starts doing it to his daughters friends so that it doesn’t get swept under the carpet and point out that next time it’ll be the police and there won’t be another warning.