AIBU to tell my friend her partner sent me an explicit photo

[Anyusernamewilldo8963]

Just woken up to find my best mates partner has sent me a dick pic with a message saying he wants me 🤢🤮 I have to tell her don't I

Some posters on this thread have really shown themselves up, They should be ashamed.

Just want to say that you’re a great friend, OP. She’s very lucky to have you in her corner. 💕

And to think, some of them will be raising the next generation of these “men.” Honestly makes me feel sick.

Yes I agree, ladies, anytime anybody sexually harasses you don't you dare tell the police. It is taking it too far. ESPECIALLY not if it is your best friend's partner, it shouldn't even bother you in this case.

Those poor men are fathers, who else is going to raise their kids to grow up to be misogynistic sexual predators? Bonus if they are fathers of girls, as this way the girls will have no understanding that when a man sends her unsolicited nude photos, they should NOT tell the police. They need to know that this is acceptable in a healthy relationship.

I've lost count of the amount of times I've drunkenly sent pictures of my vagina to my partners best mate, telling him that I want him. It's an easy mistake to make and it can happen to anybody. Think before you comment!

He has admitted it and "apologised" blaming the drink

Ach, the drink. Sure that explains it.

I can't count the number of times I've had a vat of wine and sent photos of my genitals to all my partner's friends asking to shag them. We've all done it after a couple of pints watching the match. Nothing more natural in the world.

Fecking misogynistic eejit.

I meant more his parents, I shouldn't have specified just 'Mum'. None of the older men I know e.g. Dad, Uncle etc have social media, I find it tends to be more the Mums. Either way, I should have known there would be a mumsnetter ready to pounce over the slight!

• Should also send to his parents (so they can understand what a disgusting son they have)

There we go, amended for you.

I find some people’s view of this odd.

If he was waiting down a dark alley and flashed the OP as she passed, no one would even question whether this was a crime as well as totally unacceptable.

He does it over a phone and somehow that’s excusable.

Really weird.

Also, being drunk isn’t a defence to anything.

But you didn't pick up on the fact that it would be illegal for her to forward the image to anyone else.

There we go, I've explained it to you. HTH

You have to tell her, but I don't want you to be unaware that this may be the end of your friendship, people often can't face the truth and find a way to blame the messenger. I hope this doesn't hurt you for doing the right thing and having more respect for her than he does

@Quietgirl9
She’s told her.

I don't actually know of any woman who's sent an unsolicited fanny pic, or any man who's received one

Good advice

My friend was coerced into sending them to a man, who then started pestering her to get her friends involved.

My cousin’s husband messaged me one night asking for pics of me topless.

I messaged my cousin and said I thought Steve’s messenger got hacked.

She replied that it had and we never spoke of it again. Steve is a loser and we both knew he sent it.

I moved on and never thought of it again until I was at a family celebration and he came up to me drunk and apologized for asking to see me naked. I nodded and didn’t say anything. It was so uncomfortable.

This is not your fault. Her husband is an asshole. This is not on you at all. You did the right thing.

Stop telling everyone off. You’ve posted on a random public forum, people will have a variety of opinions.

We can all see you’re taking this very seriously, which is right, but no need to go after posters who don’t feel it’s appropriate to send to the police.

It may well be a criminal offence, but that doesn’t mean, in this circumstance, that it warrants reporting. He’s a cheating scum bag and should absolutely stop sending inappropriate pictures to people, but your friend has a child with him and if you report it, you are going to blow up her world. Let her handle the situation.

Yes, sorry, you do have to tell her.
What a fool that man must be. And what contempt for women.

Thus could be worse

I can't see how telling her will achieve anything. Just tell him not to be an idiot.

Just tell him not to be an idiot.

Oh that is how we should deal with sex crimes is it? Of course, it's just men being idiots. What a shame no-one told Wayne Couzens what an idiot he was being when he sent unsolicited photos of his genitals to women; he might never have gone on to rape and murder.

Oh dear 🙄🤦‍♂️ Does your partner regularly does this and you turn a blind eye too?

Yes, this hooks him in, and makes it impossible to then claim it was a mistake. I’d do something like this and then go with incontrovertible proof.

Then it wasn't unsolicited. He wanted the pic she hadn't randomly decided to send one

It lets her friend know her DP’a a dirty cheater. If your DP did this, wouldn’t you want to be told so you could evaluate your relationship with him?

Unsolicited dicks pics are the online equivalent of the trenchcoat flasher down the park. As teenagers in the 90s we would take the piss out of them and not bother reporting it. We just thought they were random sex pests who couldn't possibly have a girlfriend. I think most women would want to know if that is who they were in a relationship with.