AIBU to tell my friend her partner sent me an explicit photo

[Anyusernamewilldo8963]

Just woken up to find my best mates partner has sent me a dick pic with a message saying he wants me 🤢🤮 I have to tell her don't I

If you read her comments she already did

This happened to me and it was so out of the blue that I just assumed he’d been hacked. I called her immediately to tell her to get him to change his passwords. Turns out he hadn’t been hacked!

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So pleased you’re not my friend!

I can't believe you are getting stick for this. You have done the right thing by your friend.

Sorry you've had this horrible experience OP. Well done for telling your friend, it was the decent thing to do.

Personally I would like to see lots of prosecutions for sending dick pics so men get it into their heads that it's very much not ok and not harmless. That said, not many men will tell others they have been prosecuted so word is unlikely to be spread, unless it is in the local press.

Agreed.

Arms, shoulders or hands please!

What happened next??

I am horrified at the minimisation going on in this thread - is this anyway to bring our sons and daughters up - it’s ok if a guy sends a dick pic to his girlfriend’s mate - no, it’s not, never.

And drink is never an excuse - I’m a firm believer that what happens when drunk is something you’re pretty ok with sober just your social boundaries are a bit more solid. But either way this is not acceptable.

Are you that are ok with this also thinking that a bit of domestic violence is ok cos beer?

Seriously odd for a mum driven forum - good to see OP and many posters do get the gravity.

Well done @Anyusernamewilldo8963 for telling your friend - whilst it was the right thing to do that doesn’t make it the easiest thing - but best in the longer term for your friend and to ensure her fella doesn’t think silence is some green light 🤢

Absolutely tell her in fact screenshot it and send it to her. What a revolting pig he’s not a good partner for your friend.

Disgusted but unfortunately not surprised by the raging misogyny and victim blaming in this thread. OP YANBU.

Keep up at the back 🥰

OP, I’ve only read your comments rather than the whole thread, but I have to say, I think you sound like a really good and loyal friend. I think you absolutely did the right thing by telling her and if she forgives him (which I suspect she might) I hope she doesn’t distance herself from you because it’s easier than being reminded what a sleaze he is every time she sees you.

Still at it 🤦‍♀️

I know!

If i do an online report and ask them to sit on it for the time being will the police do that or is it like in cases of DA where they can take it forward and bring charges without the victims consent? I'm struggling tbh as part of me wants to report him but the other part is loathe to add to my friends distress at this time

What a disgusting pathetic prick your mate is lumbered with. I think you did the right thing empowering her as to the next step. Though it would be tempting to let HIM think you are going to the police ...

It’s a long story and I can’t really detail as it’s very outing and not my story to tell, but initially it was all downplayed and the hacked scenario was happily accepted by the partner. It wasn’t until much later we realised it must have been him.

Remember - he’s blown up her life , OP, not you 💐

Emphasis on “wee”. At the end of the day, this guy is a sex pest and the OP is a victim of him.

No matter what you do, you’re a great friend.

Reporting it to the police a bit to far you’ve told your friend let her deal with it. And grow up a bit he doesn’t need reporting to the police he will be dealt with by his partner. You very well may loose your friendship if you report your friends partner and father to her child to the police 😂 some people I swear they over do everything.

Wayne Couzens. Google how many times he exposed himself before murdering, in the most awful way, a young woman. You need to educate yourself on these things. "Grow up a bit"? Yes, you should.

I think you should separate the facts that he has illegally sent you an unsolicited dick pic, and that your friend is his partner.
I don't think this should be your friend's call. It is you who has been victimised here, the fact that he is (was?) your friend's boyfriend is neither here nor there as far as the crime is concerned. Hopefully you'd report any random guy who did this. We need to be calling it out, I think you said previously that this sort of thing has been normalised, and it's not acceptable. What if it hd been your DD on the receiving end? You were targeted because of your connection with your friend, she might be targeted because of her connection with you. The guy is a sicko, please do report him to the police pronto.

You can call and have a chat with them. Or pop into your local Police Station (check opening times) and have a talk with the staff at the Counter who will be able to advise. It might depend on If there is previous; if he has history of doing similar to this in the past, with previous partners, their friends (or with children). It is a crime, it should be checked. Police will want his name, date of birth, address - then they can check. They can find out if this is something they need to escalate - the level of how upset you are may be a factor. But certainly worth a chat with 101.