AIBU to tell my friend her partner sent me an explicit photo

[Anyusernamewilldo8963]

Just woken up to find my best mates partner has sent me a dick pic with a message saying he wants me 🤢🤮 I have to tell her don't I

I'd report to the police.

I dont think they do, as a PP said its about power, intimidation, and malevolence. Like all abuse.

That's even worse. So vile.

You did the right thing

i wonder if he sent it to anyone else?

she should check his phone

FFS to the comments that you're over reacting. You're reacting in a very justified way. Maybe some commenters haven't ever had the violation of the unsolicited sausage photo. I hope your friend is doing okay and that you are too.

If it was me, I would have to send a message back to him and get more evidence that he meant to send it to you, then he can't play the "mistake" card.

Something like, "But I'm your wife's friend, don't you think it would be dangerous if we started this??" Then you have made it obvious it's you he's sent it to, and his reply will show it's no mistake.

Then, you can show her the evidence, and he can't wiggle off the hook.

You have been honest with your friend, well done it must have been hard knowing that she will be hurt. Big hug

Really?? At the very least it's raising a red flag about this man, he had committed a criminal offence, he has at least disrespected his partner and he blames it all on being drunk🙄

Exactly and if he kept sending stuff like that and the friend found out she may have mistakenly taken that as you giving the green light to it

I'd screenshot it and send it to her and his Mum.
Make sure you screenshot enough so she knows it was completely unsolicited.

It’s an offence to forward obscene photos unsolicited.
Op can keep it to show to the police. She can’t share it.

Glad you and friend seem to have some sense and that you have standards

I rescind my advice (unless it is covered in stickers so you can't see the genital area) and just for the purpose of informing the partner and his Mum how hideous he is.

And neither could she ‘wiggle off the hook’ because that reply looks as though she’s up for it.

So much minimising of this. It’s a criminal offence. Who knows how many other women he’s done this to if he thinks it’s fine to target his partners’ best friend.

While I’d understand if she didn’t want to do this because it would blow up her friends’ life, I think you need it pointed out to you that unsolicited dick pics are not a matter for laughing emojis and if OP decided to report him, she would not be ‘overdoing it’. I think you’re the one who needs to grow up.

I think if you check OP's posts ( no need to read the whole thread) you will find she spoke to her friend about ten hours ago.

You’ve done the right thing OP - and I am disgusted at the minimisers on here. They are the ones who need to grow up.

This is not normal behaviour - it is a crime for very good reasons. Also like flashing, this kind of behaviour sometimes lead to more serious sexual offences.

He has admitted it and "apologised" blaming the drink 🙄 I have not responded to him in anyway and whilst I have the screenshots and will keep them whilst a decision is made about reporting to the police, she has seen the messages he sent on his phone as he hadn't deleted them, so I don't need to show them to her and as I've previously posted I've no intention of forwarding them to anybody.

My friend and I have been talking via messages most of the day and I am hoping to see her face to face tomorrow so I'm hopeful this won't affect our friendship going forward and she knows she has my full support whatever decisions she comes to that are hers and hers alone to make.

I'm not sure that there will be much else to update so I would like to thank again the people who responded with support and understood the severity of this and those who called out the belittling and victim blaming posters on my behalf.

If after reading this full thread you still don't see this as a criminal offence and you think I'm over reacting then shame on you as you are contributing to the problem.

Well said. You sound like a friend worth having.

No, that is also a crime, as the photo sent to a third party will also be unsolicited, and doing so may also fall under the crime of revenge porn.

I would also add that a fair few posters were doing their level best to insinuate that you must have encouraged him in some way for it to happen. It’s pathetic.

Also Libby Squire's murderer. Libby herself was flashed at in the weeks prior and her mother believes it was her killer as he was so prolific in the area exposing himself, peeping and stealing underwear. The police at the time did not do enough to find the perv that so many students were complaining to them about and poor Libby paid the price.

I agree, thankfully they were the minority but they are clearly in the camp of thinking I must have somehow encouraged him and wanted this to happen. I honestly don't know what's more depressing? The victim blaming, the minimising or the ones that think its not an issue and/or he's not possibly to blame because he was drunk/it must have been a mistake

I had similar/ different. They "log it".

I reported it and said i didnt want to.do anything further - they guy in question was a lunatic. It was not a problem. Its recorded and they dont act on it.
I agree with the poster who said even if you dont prosecute (i think you should) you should log it - ot builds a picture

What has his Mom done to deserve an unsolicited picture of her sons penis? It's not her fault. Why not his Dad? She can't send it anyone if course but why does this have anything to do with his mother?