To think the daily routine is impossible. Disgusting house

[ComeOnNowww]

I want help! People's tips. I don't understand how people manage. I live in a fairly large old house.

This is my weekday routine

7am wake
7.30 - 8.30 getting kids ready for school (primary)
8.30 - 9.30 rush to office or back home to wfh.
9.30 - 5 work my arse off. Back to back meetings
5.30 pick up kids from after school
6 - 7 dinner
7 - 8 bath, bed
8 - 9 constantly put kids back to bed. Feel like tearing my hair out
9 - 9.30 basic tidy, dishwasher, check uniforms
9.30 - 10.30 try to do bits but in all honesty drink a wine and watch telly

My house is disgusting. I mean real mess. - my bathrooms are gross, dust everywhere. Im sprinting to stay still. Just about keep the show on the road but dusting, hoovering, proper cleans so hard to do

At the weekend, i do what i can. But all boys - primary school - and theyre so hyper. If I dont take them out they're out of control

What are other women doing? I dont know how womens homes look normal when they have young kids and work FT. My house is bad enough so id be embarrassed to let somone pop round. No parents. Husband MIA.

Practical tips? I feel like im missing something.

Is your husband doing his fair share? Are you splitting the chores 50:50 with him? We don’t have children at home now but we still split housework 50:50 and manage to keep fairly tidy despite being quite a big house.

But the wall of people saying they (we!) only cope due to having a cleaner should take the shame out of finding it difficult.

I’m open about it with friends and as a senior woman at work because I think it’s important to remove the illusion that it’s possible to do everything.

My only bit of advice would be that every day doesn't need to look the same.

So some days, I am up at 6, cleaning the bathroom whilst having a shower, putting a wash on whilst waiting for the kettle to boil etc etc. And similar in the evening, cook a nice meal from scratch (cook extra to freeze or for lunches), tackle a room or a cupboard or something that will make me feel productive.

Other days I will 'lie in' until 7 or 7.30. Tea will be an omelette and salad or jacket potato with various toppings etc - e.g. either super quick, or super easy in that it cooks whilst I do other things. Then I will have a glass of wine, put my feet up, even watch a film or read.

(These days are less rare, but they give me the energy to do the productive days too!)

I'm a firm believer in little and often for sure, but I do find it's overwhelming if you're trying to be superwoman, alone, every day.

Honestly, it keeps me sane not having to have the exact same routine and standards every single day of my life. Good days and rest days, and try and make the good days as productive as possible to outweigh the mess!

Good luck!

You could read her other posts (and also the OP where she clearly says he's not contributing which is why she's planning a divorce)

I've only read your responses.

The kids are big enough to clear the table, and load the dishwasher after dinner. That's 15 mins back for you.

Take a harsh stance on the 8-9 nonsense of putting the kids back to bed. After 8 is "mummy time". They need to stay, quietly, in their rooms. Sleep isn't essential at that point for them. Giving you time is to do some bits in the house is.

Weekends: kids are big enough to help with stripping beds, sorting clean laundry, putting their clothes away. Getting close to being able to (poorly) push a vacuum about. Start early before they realise its not optional!

I wouldnt sacrifice your 9.30-10.30 time - although you could pull it 9-10 if you want more sleep.

Sounds like there is a heck of a lot to sort before a cleaner would be of any value

Robo vacuums are brilliant!

but the floor does need to be clear first obviously

We have a cleaner come once every other week for 5 hours to do a mini re-set of the house, which is a lifeline for me. Shame kicks me into gear to get it tidied up the before she arrives (which already takes a few hours), and then she does all the cleaning. I actually kind of dread when she is supposed to come because I hate the tidying, but a clean house always feels so wonderful when she finishes. I know it's not affordable for everyone, but if you can swing it to even just have someone do a one-off deep clean over a day or two, it might get you out of the initial slump, and then from there you could try to put in a new routine.

My primary age kids all do 2-3 small house jobs every day after school. They don't love coming home to a little list of chores that needs to be done before dinner, but that's just how things have to be in a house with a lot of people. I think it's good for them to learn how to pull their (age appropriate) weight in a shared living environment. Older primary kids are definitely able to run a little cordless hoover, tidy up a room, unload the dishwasher, wipe surfaces, clean windows, empty bins, tidy/wipe bathroom surfaces... quite a lot actually. Younger ones can help to set and clear away the table, pick up their toys, water the plants, etc. Mine have a day of the week where they have to strip their beds before school so that I can do their sheets. The quality of work obviously varies by age, and you do have take some time at the front end to train them so the jobs are done to a decent standard, but the juice is definitely worth the squeeze there IMO.

It’s absolutely not true that everyone’s house is a mess unless they have child free time.

I mean it’s fine that the house is a mess, but not everyone lives like that and not everyone has a cleaner.

Agreed

I am a single parent
two children
and honestly… my house is my pride and joy and beautiful clean and tidy

Get up earlier. I'm up at 5am (and don't get to bed I told 11pm) to keep on top of things during the week, then at the weekend do a whole house clean - toilets, sinks, showers/baths, dust, hoover and mop kitchen and bathroom floors, empty bins etc. Team effort with your husband. The other weekend day do the supermarket shop.

I never know why these threads always take a turn. Why are people asking about your husband or personal circumstances when you’ve asked for tips for cleaning? Baffling, it’s no one’s business.

anyway, I get what you mean about having to run the boys however even at primary age they can be involved in keeping the house and given age appropriate chores. Google chores for their ages and give them each a job or two to complete each weekend morning before you go out.

for yourself it sounds like you work so hard and are an awesome mum and I know evenings can be time to just collapse and rest but doing a couple of cleaning jobs is a gift to yourself the next day. I would set a room per day and spend 20 mins in that room once the boys are in bed. Repeat each week and you’ll be on top of things in no time.

you’re doing really great. Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise.

Get a cleaner x

Maybe if the Op hadn’t thrown in that her husband is useless, and how much he annoys her and how she can’t get a cleaner because she wants to divorce him…. Posters wouldn’t have referred to him.

Has that occurred to you @HeyHowdyHey

Some people need more sleep than others to function. Lack of sleep can cause many health issues and even shorten life span. If you function well on 6 hours sleep then brilliant, but that doesn’t mean everyone does.
The OP has explained the situation with her husband.

I never know why these threads always take a turn. Why are people asking about your husband or personal circumstances when you’ve asked for tips for cleaning? Baffling, it’s no one’s business.

Rubbish.

The OP is asking if she's unreasonable to think the daily routine is impossible.

This is clearly why people are asking whether she lives with another able bodied adult.

I highly recommend a robot hoover/mop. Ours hoover and mops every day at 6.30am. It does mean we have to keep the floors clear, but because the floors are hovered and mopped daily, surface dust is reduced.

Added to which the Op herself adds loads of information about her husband!!

I’d suggest:

• Get up 30 minutes earlier. I know sleep is precious but you can get a load of washing hung and one room cleaned/tidied easily.
• Robot hoover for both upstairs and downstairs if you can. This has been life changing as you can set it to run whilst you do other things.
• Clean the bathroom during bathtime. The toilet, sink, floor and change towels can all be done whilst the kids bath. When they get out spray and quickly wipe down the bath whilst they get dressed.
• Quicker dinners - something that takes ten minutes to prep and minimal mess.
• Shorter bed time for the kids. Crack down on the leaving their rooms they sound old enough to not be doing this. Even if they read quietly or listen to an audio book. This will give you a whole hour a day to be on top of things

If you can afford it:

• cleaner 4 to 5 hours a week, ideally one who also does laundry and ironing
• robot Hoover
• thermo mix

Im in the same boat, but replace TV with a book.

I do make a point of doing a poo in each of our 3 toilets in rotation, so I can wipe bathroom surfaces down with a bit of Zoflora spray from the throne. <sloven emoji>

I work full time too and have two primary school children. I have a long commute and my full on job is never contained in my paid hours. So I know how it feels to be time poor. I'm not sure I'm the best person to give advice, as I'm constantly feeling overwhelmed! But here's what I do.

Batch cook on a Sunday night. Game changer for me. I have four or so meals that the kids reliably eat that don't take too long to cook. On Sunday, I cook enough for 3 or 4 days. We also have pizza once a week. Other meals are pasta and cheese with a couple of sausages and some salad veg. Lentil or pea protein pasta sometimes with cheese. Easy and healthy.

Decluttering. I have to do this as my house is very small. Over the next few weekends, be ruthless. Your kids can join in. Tell them that if they fill a couple of bags to take to the charity shop, they can choose one thing to buy from there. Pick your battles though. I've given up trying to convince my 5 year old to give away some soft toys.

Only ever do two laundry loads at once. I find it much less stressful to do two at once then one several times. Get the kids to help put clothes away.

Lower your standards. It doesn't matter if your house is a state. During the week we do the bare minimum eg washing up. Cleaning the bathroom etc can wait until the weekend.

Don't feel guilty about screen time. Have you got a garden? Can thru amuse themselves for a couple of hours in the garden at the weekend whilst you blitz the house?

I'm so sorry to hear about your useless husband. Good luck with the future.

I’m sorry I’ve not read the whole thread, but can you palm the kids off for a weekend with grandparents or friends and have a full on 2 x 8 hour blitz of the house one weekend. Do a tip run, charity shop drop, de clutter and deep clean. You get so much more done if on your own and put your mind to it.

bareky did anything during the week

Friday evening - oven timer on and clean the house hard and fast. All hands or there would be no lifts to clubs or friends that weekend

smaller newer house does help though

I don’t think it’s humanly possible for you to do more. 9:30 to 10:30 pm is a well deserved break so don’t feel guilty about it. Get a weekly cleaner if possible. Otherwise one day of the weekend for a few hours involve everyone to clean.

Try getting up 20 mins earlier and sort one room (alternate bathroom and living), and go to bed 20 mins later and do another (kitchen everyday).
Bedroons and laundry on weekends.
Open windows as much as you can
Keep wipes at hand in bathroom and elsewhere to give surfaces a quick clean as you go.
Get nice looking storage boxes to keep stuff in. I have ones like these: www.dunelm.com/product/zig-zag-storage-trunk-1000288176?defaultSkuId=31033618