Regret blocking my only friend

[LovingPeachFatball]

He is my only friend in the city. We started out dating a year ago but it ended after I discovered that he had a partner who he expected me to be poly with. I also recently found out he has a child. The idea of polyamory was suggested to her after she was pregnant, at the end of her childbearing years, and finanically dependent on him. Sounds to me like she was in a bit of a hostage situation and forced to agree.

He is still in love with me and trying to talk me round to moving in with his family and having babies with him immediately. He and his wife are 10 years older than me and I am way too young to have a baby, I also don't have any romantic feelings for him anymore and I'm dating other people.

I blocked him because he talked down on my looks, told me that only desperate low-value women use dating apps (he and I met on bumble) and tried to humiliate me by sexually harassing a young employee of the cafe we were at. (I think the 'looks disparity' between us is localized exclusively in his own brain). He also regurgitated some Redditor rhetoric about how a large amount of rape cases being dismissed = women often lie about rape which I found really repulsive. He went on to say that he has loads and loads of romantic prospects and could walk into town and easily take any woman home to have sex with. I asked why doesn't he do that instead of pursuing me and he told me he 'wants me'.

I have literally no friends and he was the only person in the city who I know who takes me out to do nice things. I feel extremely alone and I regret falling out with him but I can't just let someone treat me however crazy way they want just because they're freaking out about not wanting to get back together and not being in control.

Feel like I should be reading this in a take a break mag

He was never your friend. Sounds like an absolute pos narcissist/sociopath and you well rid of this scumbag.

I would suggest trying a few platonic meetup groups to make friends or join a gym/take classes in something that interests you.

Then what's the thread for? If you've no intention of seeing this man again, what are you after? Because if it's friends, you might want to look at how you come across, as other posters have said.

I do hope this is a wind up, because if not, I've read few things as sad as thinking this foul man to be your only friend.

And this is why nobody likes you!!

Why are you not using that magnificent brain of yours to work out that your current way of dealing with people is leaving you lonely and bored. And you can carry on as you are, until you wake up one day, your family have all either passed away or moved on, and you realise that you could die in your armchair and not a soul would notice until you started to smell. Or, you could stop being such an arrogant twat and start being nicer to people. Make some friends. Go to the theatre or restaurants with them. Start pulling your weight as a friend, rather than expecting to be entertained.

Perhaps you’re lonely and are finding it hard to connect in your city because you work online and 2 days a week. You have a Masters so it isn’t clear why you aren’t pursuing a career, and building a social life with single people rather than this misogynistic numpty.

This thread is batshit, but I think perhaps the most batshit part is saying that 26 - with a masters! - is way too young to have a baby.

Move on from these people.

You are really coming across as a bit of a twat here, threads like this where the OP is just bitter and scathing about everyone and every response are just ugly and pointless.

Why did you stay with him when he was humiliating you by sexually harassing another person in your own words? Why despite all you know you regret blocking a sexual predator and making a post about it. Do you also have a low self esteem?

Do you not have the emotional intelligence (aka common sense) to realise that it’s not an appropriate way to speak about people?

I know quite a few people who practice ethical non-monogamy, but not a single one involves one person going out shagging whoever while the other stays home monogamous with a baby.

Have you had therapy OP? Sounds like you have a lot to unpack with the being in love with the dead boyfriend stuff.

You sound quite young and maybe a naïve (I think that’s how you spell it). He is not your friend and he never was your friend. As a rule of thumb, if a man was at some point sexually attracted to you (ie you dated him) he will probably never be truly interested in your friendship without an ulterior motive.

Also side note - I’m 26 with a masters and I have three kids, it’s definitely not way too young but it’s not for everyone I understand. When you said way too young I was picturing a teenager 😂.

I don’t think your grief is preventing you from making friends, unfortunately I think it’s because you’re simply a really horrible person.

What a nasty horrible man. Certainly needs a police report due his behaviour towards you, his wife and the lady in the bar. You lucky to get away .sadly his wife hasn't yet. You made the best decision to block him

You haven't blocked your only friend. What you describe is not friendship. Have you ever had a real friend? Or just acquaintances? This might be something to reflect on.

As as for all the rude posts telling people they haven't comprehended you- you have literally taken time to write a post asking if it's unreasonable to regret blocking this creep. Then you're acting surprised that people think you're considering unblocking him/meeting up again.

Have to agree with previous posters too, your responses show no empathy, kindness, self-reflection, humour or emotional intelligence. All of these things are helpful when making and keeping meaningful friendships.

He sounds a nightmare. If you're way too young to have a baby how come his wife is past it when she's only ten years older than you. But thats beside the point. Run for the hills as far away from this nutcase guy as you can.

Urgh. Join a group or something, this man isn’t a friend I would want, let alone be romantically involved with.

Can completely understand why you have zero friends

You have to find something else to occupy your time.

Get some therapy.
Join some clubs.
Find some friends.
Go on some dates.

At your age with no kids you should be living your best life, not wallowing over a man who doesn’t like or respect you.

Do a Claire’s law as a starting point .
you said yourself you feel she may have no choice now she is trapped with a baby . That’s coercive control . May even be financial too.
stay clear of him . Go back out and date and join a group / club and make friends. You can also take yourself out .

I think OP is emotionally younger.

She’s 26 so not too young to have a baby but mentally she’s probably a lot younger.
She sounds quite vulnerable and not a typical 26yo.

I put you are being unreasonable.
I really wanted to put YOU ARE BEING VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY UNREASONABLE.
How on earth is this a question? Or something you are doubting yourself about/or regretting???!

He is vile. You know he is vile. You know you do not want to be with him. So what is your post about?

I wouldn't be quite so disparaging of his wife if I were you. Unless you become a much better judge of character than you are currently, it sounds like you could easily be in her shoes in ten years time.

Yeah, I felt bad for you until this post. Way to be bitch.

His behaviour is awful and your’s disfunctional if you think he is a friend, work on your self esteem but don’t do other women down, we have enough shitty men to do that for us.

He sounds like a complete dick.. Ditch him right now!

The things being said about me on this thread are so, so much worse than anything I have said about her which are observations based on the evidence I have available. You guys are calling me a bitch and a cunt because I acknowledge that this woman can't do better than him and knows it and consequently won't leave? What is the alternative explanattion for why she permits this humiliation?