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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Regret blocking my only friend

188 replies

LovingPeachFatball · 23/06/2026 20:33

He is my only friend in the city. We started out dating a year ago but it ended after I discovered that he had a partner who he expected me to be poly with. I also recently found out he has a child. The idea of polyamory was suggested to her after she was pregnant, at the end of her childbearing years, and finanically dependent on him. Sounds to me like she was in a bit of a hostage situation and forced to agree.

He is still in love with me and trying to talk me round to moving in with his family and having babies with him immediately. He and his wife are 10 years older than me and I am way too young to have a baby, I also don't have any romantic feelings for him anymore and I'm dating other people.

I blocked him because he talked down on my looks, told me that only desperate low-value women use dating apps (he and I met on bumble) and tried to humiliate me by sexually harassing a young employee of the cafe we were at. (I think the 'looks disparity' between us is localized exclusively in his own brain). He also regurgitated some Redditor rhetoric about how a large amount of rape cases being dismissed = women often lie about rape which I found really repulsive. He went on to say that he has loads and loads of romantic prospects and could walk into town and easily take any woman home to have sex with. I asked why doesn't he do that instead of pursuing me and he told me he 'wants me'.

I have literally no friends and he was the only person in the city who I know who takes me out to do nice things. I feel extremely alone and I regret falling out with him but I can't just let someone treat me however crazy way they want just because they're freaking out about not wanting to get back together and not being in control.

OP posts:
cookbookjunkie · 23/06/2026 21:00

He doesn't sound like much of a friend to me.

Put your energies into making new friends and join as many dating apps as you like. I really can't imagine why you see this as any sort of a loss. It doesn't sound as if you like him that much.

LovingPeachFatball · 23/06/2026 21:01

chocoluv · 23/06/2026 21:00

How old are you?

Have you considered going to university?

I've got a masters from Oxford.

OP posts:
chocoluv · 23/06/2026 21:01

LovingPeachFatball · 23/06/2026 21:01

I've got a masters from Oxford.

Did you not make any friends from your undergrad or masters?

BoredZelda · 23/06/2026 21:02

LovingPeachFatball · 23/06/2026 20:45

Though I feel bad for the deliberate timing of the proposal being at her pregnancy, there is literally nothing to suggest she is a victim, the evidence points to her just being a terminal pickme who thinks having a Nigel who cheats on her is better than having no Nigel at all. Probably thinks she can't do better and tbh she might even be right. I literally don't know anything about her or about their relationship to go calling police on them.

Being a pickme is not a crime lmfao

He is wealthy and attractive. She is neither of those things and probably feels lucky to even be there. I think she's choosing this.

Edited

You sound like you’re being really shitty about her, and yet, you wish you were still in contact with him.

LovingPeachFatball · 23/06/2026 21:03

chocoluv · 23/06/2026 21:01

Did you not make any friends from your undergrad or masters?

None of us stayed in touch as most of us were from all over the country. I did stay in touch with one woman come to think of it, I'll message her now. It is so difficult with my availability as I work every weekend.

OP posts:
SunnyRedSnail · 23/06/2026 21:03

@LovingPeachFatball he was never your friend.

You are quite clearly vulnerable and he saw that and used you.

Keep him blocked and go make some proper friends. Join a club for something you enjoy doing.

Backedoffhackedoff · 23/06/2026 21:04

LovingPeachFatball · 23/06/2026 21:03

None of us stayed in touch as most of us were from all over the country. I did stay in touch with one woman come to think of it, I'll message her now. It is so difficult with my availability as I work every weekend.

You had time to see him, you can manage it

LovingPeachFatball · 23/06/2026 21:04

BoredZelda · 23/06/2026 21:02

You sound like you’re being really shitty about her, and yet, you wish you were still in contact with him.

I'm not being shitty about her I'm just trying to explain why I don't think the situation calls for police intervention which is a very extreme suggestion. Some women DO choose to be in shit relationships.

OP posts:
Vaguelyclassical · 23/06/2026 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LovingPeachFatball · 23/06/2026 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

😂

OP posts:
MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 23/06/2026 21:04

How come you have no friends?

LovingPeachFatball · 23/06/2026 21:05

MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 23/06/2026 21:04

How come you have no friends?

My boyfriend killed himself some years ago, everyone blamed me for it and it spread around the whole town. My boyfriend was one of the very very very few people I exempt from my disdain.

OP posts:
MovedlikeHarlowinMonteCarlo · 23/06/2026 21:08

So nobody would speak to you after this? Why would your existing friends believe a rumour?

Backedoffhackedoff · 23/06/2026 21:08

LovingPeachFatball · 23/06/2026 21:05

My boyfriend killed himself some years ago, everyone blamed me for it and it spread around the whole town. My boyfriend was one of the very very very few people I exempt from my disdain.

Edited

What disdain? I don’t understand what this means

MeganM3 · 23/06/2026 21:08

Go back on bumble and go on lots of dates if you’re lonely and want a distraction.
This man sounds horrendous and you don’t miss him, you’re just lonely and bored.

chocoluv · 23/06/2026 21:08

LovingPeachFatball · 23/06/2026 21:03

None of us stayed in touch as most of us were from all over the country. I did stay in touch with one woman come to think of it, I'll message her now. It is so difficult with my availability as I work every weekend.

You need to find a way to make friends.

This man should be blocked on everything and you’re only contemplating talking to him because you’re lonely.

How old are you?

LovingPeachFatball · 23/06/2026 21:08

Come to think of it, the same day, I think this is all a bit of a hissy fit as I didn't want to jump back into a relationship with him. When I told him I briefly saw someone else, I told him he was a teacher (which is the exact same job as mine) and he said 'what a fucking loser'.

OP posts:
LovingPeachFatball · 23/06/2026 21:09

chocoluv · 23/06/2026 21:08

You need to find a way to make friends.

This man should be blocked on everything and you’re only contemplating talking to him because you’re lonely.

How old are you?

26 :(

OP posts:
Honeyhonay · 23/06/2026 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Honeyhonay · 23/06/2026 21:11

LovingPeachFatball · 23/06/2026 21:08

Come to think of it, the same day, I think this is all a bit of a hissy fit as I didn't want to jump back into a relationship with him. When I told him I briefly saw someone else, I told him he was a teacher (which is the exact same job as mine) and he said 'what a fucking loser'.

Edited

Why would you work every weekend as a teacher?

LovingPeachFatball · 23/06/2026 21:11

Honeyhonay · 23/06/2026 21:11

Why would you work every weekend as a teacher?

Tutoring online. I only teach 2 days per week

OP posts:
Darragon · 23/06/2026 21:12

This thread has really attracted the batshit! My advice: Ignore the drama llamas here and IRL OP and make some friends via a hobby. And definitely don’t waste police time, that’s one of the craziest leaps and pile ons I’ve seen all day!
Edited to remove a letter s added by stupid autocorrect, before anyone decides to troll hunt on me next.

Cornishclio · 23/06/2026 21:13

God he sounds awful. Surely you can find a better friend than him?

Hallywally · 23/06/2026 21:13

Why do you want to be friends with someone who is so vile and why do you keep editing your posts?

LovingPeachFatball · 23/06/2026 21:14

Darragon · 23/06/2026 21:12

This thread has really attracted the batshit! My advice: Ignore the drama llamas here and IRL OP and make some friends via a hobby. And definitely don’t waste police time, that’s one of the craziest leaps and pile ons I’ve seen all day!
Edited to remove a letter s added by stupid autocorrect, before anyone decides to troll hunt on me next.

Edited

IKR some woman choosing to be in a disaster relationship is not a police matter and acknowledging that she is choosing it is not a ';vile comment' I think a lot of these people think I owe this woman something. I don't.

OP posts: