Regret blocking my only friend

[LovingPeachFatball]

He is my only friend in the city. We started out dating a year ago but it ended after I discovered that he had a partner who he expected me to be poly with. I also recently found out he has a child. The idea of polyamory was suggested to her after she was pregnant, at the end of her childbearing years, and finanically dependent on him. Sounds to me like she was in a bit of a hostage situation and forced to agree.

He is still in love with me and trying to talk me round to moving in with his family and having babies with him immediately. He and his wife are 10 years older than me and I am way too young to have a baby, I also don't have any romantic feelings for him anymore and I'm dating other people.

I blocked him because he talked down on my looks, told me that only desperate low-value women use dating apps (he and I met on bumble) and tried to humiliate me by sexually harassing a young employee of the cafe we were at. (I think the 'looks disparity' between us is localized exclusively in his own brain). He also regurgitated some Redditor rhetoric about how a large amount of rape cases being dismissed = women often lie about rape which I found really repulsive. He went on to say that he has loads and loads of romantic prospects and could walk into town and easily take any woman home to have sex with. I asked why doesn't he do that instead of pursuing me and he told me he 'wants me'.

I have literally no friends and he was the only person in the city who I know who takes me out to do nice things. I feel extremely alone and I regret falling out with him but I can't just let someone treat me however crazy way they want just because they're freaking out about not wanting to get back together and not being in control.

What in the Elon musk have I just read?

At your age as a teacher I started joining various activity clubs eg yoga, martial arts etc. I developed life long friendships through those routes. I was also able to throw myself into my career. Holidays were hard but these days there’s loads of holiday clubs looking for staff if want some extra cash.

Eventually I made so many friends that holidays were busy and then met my now husband.

You either need to move city and start a fresh in the same way or basically do the same where you are.

That bloke sounds dangerous and I would speak to the police or someone at women’s aid who may be able to help you work out what may or may not need reporting,

My boyfriend was one of the very very very few people I exempt from my disdain.

Why do you think that you are better then most people? Perhaps this is why you have no friends?

Quite possibly!

Get them both out of your life and get out and meet new people. ]

Stop victim blaming you nasty piece of work.

You’re the one with the post titled ‘AIBU to regret blocking my only friend.’ Why did you post?

Hmm. I went to Oxford too, and while people absolutely were from all over, including international students, it would be very atypical for people not to bond with at least a few people. I don’t currently live in the same country as any of my university friends, but we’re all in touch, visit one another, talk on the phone, message etc.

Do you really think she couldn't leave if she wanted to? There is literally nothing stopping her.

This shit is like 2000 BC without the men having any responsibility for the “wives” this guy is not your friend.

Agreed. He is not your friend. He is grooming you to be his sex partner. You can make new friends.

When I told him I briefly saw someone else, I told him he was a teacher

Why are you still talking to him?

You need to find your self respect and stop letting him walk all over you.

Find some friends in real life or join a dating site if you want sex.

The idea of polyamory was suggested to her after she was pregnant, at the end of her childbearing years, and financially dependent on him

If they are ten years older than you that makes her 36, which means she would not be at the end of her child bearing years unless there is a health issue.

Do you really think she couldn't leave if she wanted to? There is literally nothing stopping her

If she is financially dependent on him, as you stated in your OP, then that will be what is stopping her.

You have a very odd outlook on life.

Seeing this comment explains why you have no friends. You sound like a very unpleasant person.

You sound very ignorant about abusive relationships and how hard it can be to leave them. Really sad that you can't find any compassion for this woman.

You sound very ignorant about abusive relationships and how hard it can be to leave them. Really sad that you can't find any compassion for this woman.

Wow.

I was feeling sorry for you after reading your first post as you come across as quite vulnerable.

Now I see you are just as nasty as him.

Any normal woman would just say 'no, you can't shag other women and if you do I'm walking away'. Really, how hard can that be? i owe her nothing.

When did I say she was being abused. All i said is that she's in a polyamorous relationship.

And, as people keep saying, this unpleasant attitude is why you have no friends, and your only previous friend is a gratuitously awful person.

A lot of you people are lashing out at me because another woman's husband is in love with me and it reminds you of your worst fears. I was NOT aware of his marital status when we first dated.

Nah OP hes a total wanker. Hes been rude to you,put you down and been an all round fucking cunt.

Ive been alone in a city before when I moved to london. There are quite a few apps with friends and groups arranging meet ups. Have you joined any?
I was young and joined them and made a few friends to go out for a drink with, the gym, visit museums etc. I was young so it was mostly looking for people to get drunk with...! But there are loads with a variety of interests.

Join local groups? Go for a drink by yourself? You would be amazed how many people in a pub are alone.

Dont entertain this clown because you are alone

And yet here you are all this time later still clinging onto this loser who is married and choosing someone else.

You seem to be completely lacking in social awareness and lacking in empathy.

You literally said that you think she was in a hostage situation with regard to the polyamory. Everything you've told us about the bloke suggests that he is a real POS - trying to pressure someone younger to move in and get pregnant, bragging about how he could have anyone, sexually harassing young employees etc. Do you really think he is treating his wife with respect and kindness? He doesn't have to be hitting her for it to be an abusive relationship.

I recommend the game 'Reader Rabbit' to you specifically because the title states I blocked him.