Regret blocking my only friend

[LovingPeachFatball]

He is my only friend in the city. We started out dating a year ago but it ended after I discovered that he had a partner who he expected me to be poly with. I also recently found out he has a child. The idea of polyamory was suggested to her after she was pregnant, at the end of her childbearing years, and finanically dependent on him. Sounds to me like she was in a bit of a hostage situation and forced to agree.

He is still in love with me and trying to talk me round to moving in with his family and having babies with him immediately. He and his wife are 10 years older than me and I am way too young to have a baby, I also don't have any romantic feelings for him anymore and I'm dating other people.

I blocked him because he talked down on my looks, told me that only desperate low-value women use dating apps (he and I met on bumble) and tried to humiliate me by sexually harassing a young employee of the cafe we were at. (I think the 'looks disparity' between us is localized exclusively in his own brain). He also regurgitated some Redditor rhetoric about how a large amount of rape cases being dismissed = women often lie about rape which I found really repulsive. He went on to say that he has loads and loads of romantic prospects and could walk into town and easily take any woman home to have sex with. I asked why doesn't he do that instead of pursuing me and he told me he 'wants me'.

I have literally no friends and he was the only person in the city who I know who takes me out to do nice things. I feel extremely alone and I regret falling out with him but I can't just let someone treat me however crazy way they want just because they're freaking out about not wanting to get back together and not being in control.

You have no friends? Wonder why.

Pretty sure this is completely made up tbf.

another woman's husband is in love with me

He is not in love with you.

You need to get that out of your head.
He is using you because you are vulnerable and lonely and knows you’ll let him walk all over you.

He has been begging me to get back with him and I've blocked him. Not that I care if he is or not , I am acutally in love with someone else...

You sound delusional - he's not in love with you. He's looking out for a vulnerable, lonely young woman to groom into his weirdo polyamory lifestyle and he landed on you because you are by yourself with no friends and he thinks you're an easy mark.

"Reminds you of your worst fears" get a grip 😂

Not after engaging in maintaining contact with him well after becoming aware of his marriage.
You have only just cut contact and you’re already moaning about regretting it. You’re more pathetic than she is.

Lmao Donna is that you?. I don't want your shitty husband I already declined his advances and blocked him

Are you bored now GCSEs are over?

Well no because i still tutor on the weekends.

Being the daughter of a man who declared his marriage 'open' shortly after contracting it, I've long thought that 'polyamory' is just a fancy name for men doing whatever the fuck they want and pretending that's progressive. Ugh.

You baffle me, OP. I think you're right that the situation of this human turd's (thanks, pp) wife is not a police matter. But to say that she's choosing to stay if she's financially dependent, with a young child, and he sprang this on her late in pregnancy is extremely uncharitable and simply not accurate.

And why, just why, would you want to be 'friends' with this individual? Yes, he takes you out to do nice things, but surely being a friend requires a base level of human decency which he lacks, and some kind of empathetic connection that I wouldn't even want to have with someone so obviously vile.

Just read back what you wrote. He is pressuring you to have babies with him in a 'throuple', clearly without regard for his wife who could probably do with him pitching him parenting their child. He molests waitresses, he boasts of his seductive powers - where's the 'barfing' emoji when you need it? Run, run, run. Better to be lonely than with this cunt, whatever his salary.

You do sound lonely and like you're not sure what you're worth. There's probably a lot to unpack there, but he won't help you do that. Join a club, running, crocheting, whatever, talk to strangers on the tube (joking! but even that would be better than he) - don't settle for this man as a 'friend'. All the best.

It's hilarious, you're writing it as if you're a Bond villain.

This is definitely fiction. It's shit fiction too.

your very vulnerable and he knows it, that’s why he picked you in the first place, he sounds narcissistic and you need to keep away from him and be grateful your not his partner… vile man

I'll probably get deleted for this, but I'm not sure this is genuine.

Whole thread sounds like a sack of shit to me! 🙄

last few posts personify the 'NOTHING EVER HAPPENS' wojak

Jesus, what a car crash.

I am being charitable in reinterpreting his claim that 'she suggested' the polyamory not him. He claims it was all her idea even though it's a one-way polyamory.

He isn’t your friend and never was. It’s concerning that you can’t or don’t see that. Thank your lucky stars that unlike his wife, you aren’t tied to him in any way.

He wanted me to meet her but I refused and said I felt extremely bad and humiliated for her.

This can't possibly be real. Nobody is this stupid and callous.

My advice is: get off the internet and join an amateur dramatics club

That's what I did when I was in my mid 20s and creepy poly boy was acting interested.

Yes because he wants to use you for sex.

Well done for blocking him.

Who are you in love with and why are you not in a relationship with them?

My dead bf and primarliy we aren't in a relationship because of his death. I would never have sex with him again, I don't fancy him

I meet a lot of guys on Bumble who remind me of my dead bf in some ways or others and fall for them pretty hard immediately because of their proximity to him. But I can't ever stand to stick around otherwise I feel like I risk losing him all over again. Every time I go on dates with a guy who reminds me of him I get a vivid dream of his corpse in some state of decay. I don't really know how to address this issue.

I think you need to get some therapy if this is true.

My worst fears have very little to do with infidelity, and with the anger and loneliness of someone who struggles with friendships but is unwilling to examine the actual cause (which has nothing to do with your polyamorous prince).