AIBU to say no to neighbours using my garden daily during heatwave?

[notanEverydayThing]

AIBU to say no to neighbours about dc playing in my garden every day this week?

I live in an end terrace house there’s a gate onto a small lane and then a block of flats , I know a couple of the families as the dc go to the same school. They have a small shared grass area behind the flats but it’s not totally enclosed and a bit over grown / messy.

Yesterday I had the paddling pool and splash thing out for my dc and invited the neighbours round . I’ve set it up again today and on the way home they asked can they come again and I said ‘not today sorry but maybe on Friday ?’ One of the mums said ‘but it’s boiling !’ I said I know but I wanted to just have a quiet afternoon/ evening and I have work tomorrow and Thu to which she said ‘so you won’t be there at all? Can we use the garden / pool on those days?’ I said no !!!! I feel she’s being rude! I said happy Friday for everyone to come over again after school but she tutted and walked off

I know it’s hot but I don’t want them here everyday and especially when I’m not home tomorrow and Thursday!!!

In this weather, it’s nice to be kind. At least you’ve given them a pool

Yanbu.

She can buy a lawn mower, tidy up the flats' garden, and buy her own paddling pool if she is that worried. ie put in the effort it takes to have these things.

Honestly, some people are unbelievably entitled.

The neighbour has access to a shared garden. She can sort that out for her own children.

OP has already been kind and it got thrown back in her face.

“Give an inch and they’ll take a mile”
comes to mind.
Yanbu to want things on your terms and to have your garden to yourself, nor to be annoyed about the entitlement.

I notice in the OP that to the neighbour the pool became, "the pool" and no OPs pool. It annoys me intensely when others do this.
I know its so hot but the neighbour needs to entertain her own DC.

Think I'd be putting a lock on as a precaution.

Some people just dont have social graces. To them its a simple equation you have a garden and a pool and as you have been kind enough to share it when you felt it was convenient to you and now they have a sense of entitlement. Don't question yourself. Question their rude behaviour towards you and take note. These are exactly the sort of people that 'give them an inch and they take a mile' statement derived from. Downright ignorant. You dont have to justify yourself to them. Sadly not everyone has manners....

Absolutely this. The neighbour is an entitled CF and her attitude tells you everything you need to know OP so avoid her now for the summer. I had similarish with a neighbour during Covid she thought as I had 3dc already it would be no bother for me to look after her dc as her dc was bored .

No. She’ll think tutting at people for not doing her bidding is acceptable and gets results.

🤣👍

As my nan used to say 'no good deed goes unpunished'
Mistake thinking the neighbours would just be happy to be invited and not feel entitled to your space. Cancel everything and pop your boundaries back up until she's figured you doing owe her a garden/pool party

Sounds good. Don't have them round again.

If they didn’t have a patch I would feel a little guilty saying no ( I would still say no!)
They need to make the effort to make the little patch nicer for their children.

Tell her there is no way she can let her children use your pool while you are not there, it's an insurance liability nightmare for one thing. And it's just a paddling pool. They are quite fragile, It won't last forever and you don't want an awkward situation where it might be damaged or punctured by someone else's children potentially being heavy handed with it when you are not there to supervise, so sorry but no.

Actually that's not a bad idea!

This!

Do you have a garden?

Flat dwellers aren’t known for having lawn mowers, forks, trowels etc.

Yeah yeah it's not your fault they don't have a garden and your garden is yours and so on but really would it hurt you to make a child happy and let them use your garden when you are not in? I wouldn't let them in without a parent when the paddling pool is out but if they bring a parent or when there is no paddling pool I would be glad someone was getting the use from the garden when I wasn't in.

Do you have a garden?

Also on the flat thing.

Private flats should have some sort of communal charge this should cover the keeping the grass cut as a minimum.

If it’s council they should complain to their housing officer. Basic lawn cutting again is normally included in the rent for communal areas.

It depends. It's not impossible to place a tool store in even a communal garden.

As I mentioned above, my parents and I lived in a (ground floor) flat. Dad's pal was in a first floor flat at the other end of the block. We each had a shed on our plot.

The adjacent block had a communal green with flower borders and they managed to organise a communal tool shed.

As the saying goes, no good turn goes unpunished. She sounds the CF type that would completely take advantage and you'd have a garden full all summer.

Try to avoid her from now on of you can or you will be in a very uneasy situation.

Yes, a big one and the local kids used to use it to play football in, at first with my children and then just when they wanted to play football if my kids weren't playing. It didn't bother me.

The very definition of a CF! You invite her round twice in one week and she’s rude because she can’t have the other two days. Well done for upholding your boundaries.