AIBU to say no to neighbours using my garden daily during heatwave?

[notanEverydayThing]

AIBU to say no to neighbours about dc playing in my garden every day this week?

I live in an end terrace house there’s a gate onto a small lane and then a block of flats , I know a couple of the families as the dc go to the same school. They have a small shared grass area behind the flats but it’s not totally enclosed and a bit over grown / messy.

Yesterday I had the paddling pool and splash thing out for my dc and invited the neighbours round . I’ve set it up again today and on the way home they asked can they come again and I said ‘not today sorry but maybe on Friday ?’ One of the mums said ‘but it’s boiling !’ I said I know but I wanted to just have a quiet afternoon/ evening and I have work tomorrow and Thu to which she said ‘so you won’t be there at all? Can we use the garden / pool on those days?’ I said no !!!! I feel she’s being rude! I said happy Friday for everyone to come over again after school but she tutted and walked off

I know it’s hot but I don’t want them here everyday and especially when I’m not home tomorrow and Thursday!!!

You sound to accommodating OP. Having other DC over now and agin is fine but they are taking the piss. You are perfectly entitled to enjoy your own garden with your own kids.

Sorry but there is always one. I think this is ridiculous. It's their life style choice! And I live in a flat! Albeit it's ground floor but still!

People who love in flats could go to the park for outside space.

Firstly YANBU at all OP, just to be clear.

But to those saying she could just put a paddling pool in her own garden, until recently I lived in a 3rd floor flat with a shared garden but no outside tap. Filling a paddling pool with a bucket up and down 3 floors would have been much more effort than it was worth!

I am SO grateful that we now have our own little outside space.

She said they can use the garden again on Friday
I don't think she has an obligation to let them use it every day.
Besides the advice in a heatwave is to stay indoors!

I remember this thread @Fizzybluewater it was fabulous but I've never been able to find it again, it's a shame because it would be an object lesson for the Op

exactly, the mum was stupid as well as rude, if she hadn't walked off sniffing Op might have had her kids round on friday.

It's not even as though they don't have any outdoor space of their own, they could still use theirs just have to supervise - which you'd like to think they'd have done at OP's anyway rather than just dumping their kids on her.

And if there was an accident with the young children being inadequately supervised in the paddling pool, would the op be held responsible, do you think? Just another consideration

I just don’t believe that people like you who come on Mumsnet to chastise others for having boundaries, are hosting the neighbourhood kids throughout the heatwave, or all the other forms of doormat behaviour that you demand online for your definition of ‘nice’.
OP did a nice thing, and has learned that the recipient is trying to take advantage as a result. No way I’d give an inch to the CF neighbour ever again.

I’ve head it all now. What a rude, entitled CF! The answer is no, end of. Jeez, some people.

The OP has already hosted them and planned to again. This wouldn't hurt her because she was happy to do it. And that's what all kindness should be, things you're happy to do, without feeling its too much. Because if you get into the habit of going further than you'd like, you end up resentful and think twice about being kind in future.

She’s a CF, the tutting would have me rescinding any future offers.

She needs to sort out the shared garden and get a pool for it.

I wouldn't be inviting her or her kids at all now. How incredibly rude and CF.

Oh christ, don't reward her rudeness! She can get her own paddling pool.

There's a shared garden. A pool could go in that.

Why would OP help someone who tutted at her and clearly feels entitled to her garden?

Like Cadging Carol on the Royle Family. 😂

On Gardener's World a while ago a group of neighbours had got toether to transform a very neglected back alley. Some folk put pots of flowers out a few planted climbers and some grew tomatoes and courgettes. Best of all it became a really chatty meet up space for residents who'd not talked much before.
Imagine this sort of thing, but with space for kiddies and a bench for the mums.
I really don't know why councils couldn't back such enterprises with a few bags of compost, pots and a bit of goodwill, would make such a difference to communities.

OP- The likes of @lxn889121 would suggest you should not only open your garden to the neighbours when you are away work, but also leave them your housekeys. I mean really, they can't surely be expected to walk ALL the way back to their own homes to get drinks and use the toilet can they? If you don't give them free rein of your house, then clearly you are the unreasonable one and not being kind! 🙄

I would have knocked on one of my downstairs neighbours door with some cold pop and a fiver and asked if they could possibly run a hose from their tap to my child’s paddling pool.

Bonus if you ask someone who also have children. Team work. When my mum lived in a flat apart from the odd couple of flats everyone was more than happy to help each other.

Hell ask the op to run her hose 😅🤷🏻‍♀️

😂😂

It’s your home, it is your choice, if she can’t live with your choice, that is her problem not yours

I mean she's rude to ask to be fair 😬,I'd of probably allowed little ones to play in it tho if it was no skin of my nose .

What a cheeky cow! I would have cancelled Friday after the tut!

Yes she was rude, it's now a new theme of Fuck off Friday!

I was going to offer it (I don’t need it back) and just say that I think it’s better to cancel Friday but at least she has a pool now