AIBU to say no to neighbours using my garden daily during heatwave?

[notanEverydayThing]

AIBU to say no to neighbours about dc playing in my garden every day this week?

I live in an end terrace house there’s a gate onto a small lane and then a block of flats , I know a couple of the families as the dc go to the same school. They have a small shared grass area behind the flats but it’s not totally enclosed and a bit over grown / messy.

Yesterday I had the paddling pool and splash thing out for my dc and invited the neighbours round . I’ve set it up again today and on the way home they asked can they come again and I said ‘not today sorry but maybe on Friday ?’ One of the mums said ‘but it’s boiling !’ I said I know but I wanted to just have a quiet afternoon/ evening and I have work tomorrow and Thu to which she said ‘so you won’t be there at all? Can we use the garden / pool on those days?’ I said no !!!! I feel she’s being rude! I said happy Friday for everyone to come over again after school but she tutted and walked off

I know it’s hot but I don’t want them here everyday and especially when I’m not home tomorrow and Thursday!!!

She's rude and pushy. Your mistake though was to give too much detail when you said no. Don't tell her when you have work etc or why you're saying no. Just 'No, not today' and a smile and walk off, or leave a silence.

I don’t think that would apply to a plastic paddling pool. It’s not a permanent structure.

Why would op take all that on herself on behalf of someone who can’t be arsed to?!
She’s not this woman’s social secretary.

more children drown in an inch or two of water than anything!

Oh, no doubt. But a movable paddling pool wouldn’t be governed by any h & s strictures.
It’s assumed the parents would monitor it correctly.

I wouldn't invite her over again.

Too bad if she lives in a flat.

If you already had it set up today for your kids I would have let them come in and said only for 1hr as we are having a quiet/ early night. It’s mentally hot and it’s the kind thing to do. Definitely not to the days you aren’t there. I would suggest she asks the other flat occupants to get together and make a fun area for their kids at the back. Don’t be offended when they have a really fun play area and your kids aren’t invited tho!

OP has already been kind. If they don't invite her to their fun play area (if it ever happens) because they demanded more, I'm not sure how that makes OP the unkind one.

Is that supposed to be a dig at op?
When they have their fantastic new play area (unlikely) her kids will be left gazing wistfully over the fence like the Bisto Kids?
Odd.

WTF! Its clear that the heat has mentally affected YOU.
I now see that the the CF neighbour is here on MN!

Would she really be liable if something went wrong?

I wouldn't take the risk. I recall reading an article in a gardening magazine warning about liability - not about paddling pools specifically, however. Have tried but failed to find it online.

a neighbours child died in a freak accident in a paddling pool years ago it was during a family party and a house full of people but there was a big match on the telly and everyone was inside watching. It happened a good few years before myself and DH had children but it’s stuck in my mind as it’s something they can happen anyone but it’s made me ultra paranoid about padding pools. I don’t even like my own dc going to houses now with paddling pools if I’m not there. So no way would I want people people using my paddling pool when I’m not around.

On reflection, having read this I wouldn't give the neighbour the paddling pool even for older children. If unsupervised for seconds anything could happen & I would hate to think it had been in my gifted former pool.

You're definitely right to put your foot down, give her an inch and she'll take a mile, those kids will never be away. What about when it snows, will she be asking if her kids can build a snowman in your garden? It would be a definite hard NO from me, nip it in the bud!

She apologised. To be fair it has been very hot. I said it’s fine forget it. She asked about today I said she’s got her own paddling pool now and I just want a quiet afternoon/evening as had a stressful day at work yesterday. We aren’t on bad terms I think the friendship has just moved down a few levels if that makes sense. No hard feelings but an awareness.

Good. You nicely protected your personal boundaries and if friendship gone down a few notches that might provide a respectful distance. Xx

There was no ending to this that didn’t involve the friendship decreasing. But that was her doing.

Well done OP, it sounds like you handled it well and got a success from a possible disaster.

Well handled OP.
Good to know where you both stand.

Or. They could make their shared grassy area a bit nicer by doing some work to it, similar to the work that OP does in her garden to make it usable and nice. Then they could supervise their kids while using it, much like they’d have to supervise them at the OP’s house, as it’s not fully enclosed (a bit like a park).

Op, your story popped up on my phone in Apple News. It looks like it’s now an article in the Mirror!! It quotes your words and other people’s replies.
Im guessing they are allowed to use your story without consent?? I don’t use MM much so I don’t know about these things. Either way, it must be stressful for people to post something on here hoping for advice, only to realise that their story is spreading massively when tabloids pick it up.

I wonder if anyone even picked a newspaper/ magazine and recognised themselves in an article (which might have been posted on MM by their relative/ friend/neighbour).

Tell them NO

Have you seen her again, @notanEverydayThing?

😳