AIBU to say no to neighbours using my garden daily during heatwave?

[notanEverydayThing]

AIBU to say no to neighbours about dc playing in my garden every day this week?

I live in an end terrace house there’s a gate onto a small lane and then a block of flats , I know a couple of the families as the dc go to the same school. They have a small shared grass area behind the flats but it’s not totally enclosed and a bit over grown / messy.

Yesterday I had the paddling pool and splash thing out for my dc and invited the neighbours round . I’ve set it up again today and on the way home they asked can they come again and I said ‘not today sorry but maybe on Friday ?’ One of the mums said ‘but it’s boiling !’ I said I know but I wanted to just have a quiet afternoon/ evening and I have work tomorrow and Thu to which she said ‘so you won’t be there at all? Can we use the garden / pool on those days?’ I said no !!!! I feel she’s being rude! I said happy Friday for everyone to come over again after school but she tutted and walked off

I know it’s hot but I don’t want them here everyday and especially when I’m not home tomorrow and Thursday!!!

God no, you’d be lumbered all summer! She can find a splash park/stream for paddling. Lock your gate!

Whats stopping her tidying up her shared garden and putting a paddling pool out there?

She can't be arsed as it probably means she has to empty and take it in each time.

Put a camera up, bet you she and her kid are in your garden whilst you're out.

I do feel bad as I know how hot it must be stuck in a flat. I have a smaller paddling pool that I haven’t used so I might offer her that and pack our garden stuff away tonight just in case. It’s even made me feel uncomfortable sitting out here today .

God, some people are rude.

You don't invite yourself to someone's home or garden, however hot it is.

Well done, OP, for standing your ground. A nice person wouldn't ask, so no loss on that front.

Lock your gate and don’t let them in.

They can clear an area in their own overgrown mess and watch their child like every other parent who lives in a flat.

Use your garden how you feel fit and don’t feel bad. She has zero excuse to not tidy a small area up and buy a £15 paddling pool just lazy and tight.

No good deed goes unpunished.

That's a really important point. If anything were to go wrong, you'd be liable.

I knew someone who let another family's child ride their pony because the parents begged relentlessly. The child fell off (adults present and no negligence) and broke her arm so the parents sued.

All very well being nice to people but who is going to keep an eye on the kids around water and who is responsible if one neighbours kid gets hurt? Who is responsible for sun screen and providing the inevitable drinks, loo trips, assuming they don't use OP's garden?
Paddling pools are great fun but kids sometimes argue and water gets thrown, a verbal punchup often ensues. Been there, done that with my own kids having 7 was like having my own plus several neighbours too. Not always harmonious.
If things go wrong OP's neck is on the block.

I live in a flat and have put a small paddling pool on my small balcony for the kids 😂

She's not liable for someone getting hurt after they trespassed on her property! Who told you that?!

To be fair they probably couldn't if there is no outdoor tap or hose and they live on higher floors. Not OP's problem but whenever I've lived in flats there wouldn't be an earthly way for me to fill a paddling pool outside.

Make sure your garden is secure or you may get unwanted ‘visitors’ which will be more of a pain to get rid of

You have done nothing wrong. Would she be okay with you and your kid popping round to her flat while she isn't home, to use her comfy couch and watch her TV (because yours is 'broken'). Who invites themselves over to someone's house or garden? And especially while they're not home. So weird.

@lxn889121 does living in a flat mean you don’t need to take any responsibility for the shared garden? If this mum could have been bothered to tidy her communal garden she could have put a paddling pool there. She couldn’t be bothered to do the work and now she expects someone else to share the fruit of their hard work. And she’s rude when she asks!

This.

Her arguing and then walking off tutting would make me withdraw the invitation for Friday as well.

The owner is liable for injuries sustained by a trespasser if there is an obvious danger or one that the owner is aware of. I.e if one of the neighbours kids slipped in the pool and banged their head OP could potentially be liable for damages.
I never had neighbours kids around because of this.

Like I said, here it's considered an attractive nuisance and yes, they could sue. They might win if the pool is not behind secure fencing with a locked gate. There's pretty strict regulations regarding residential pools because of the drowning risk.

These people want free use even when the homeowner isn't home. You know they'd be going in to use her bathroom.

@notanEverydayThing , offer them the smaller wader but make it very, very clear they are not allowed on your property. Take steps that you can monitor your property when you're not there.

Absolutely make sure your gate has a lock, she's definitely coming over when she thinks you're out!

When I was a kid (in Australia) we had a pool in the backyard. We had a neighbour who put a ladder on her side of the fence and would then lower her kids down into our yard so they could use the pool. She stayed in her own yard and couldn't even see them. People are crazy.

Favours become duties if you’re not careful.

She potentially could be. Law suits have been won in cases similar to this as it could be argued the OP has 'set a precedent' . This is why schools leave the lights on so burglars don't get injured and sue. Yes it's mad but the world is mad as hell.

You never have other kids over incase they hurt themselves?

Tell her to fuck off, she can take her kids to a waterpark, stream or lido if they want to play in water.
Is your garden overlooked by the flats? That would annoy me but i'd probably sit in the pool myself with a big glass of wine and cheers her if so!
Her entitled attitude has stuffed it for her kids, not you. Enjoy your paddling 😎

She was being a CF- just ignore

You're entitled to say no

And you're CERTAINLY entitled to say no to them coming round when you're not there at all!
That's just off the scale!

I once looked out my window to find the kids across the street that my child played with had let themselves into our garden! My child was inside with me!
I was NOT happy and shouted at them to get out.
There's just no way you go into someone else's garden when they're not there