AIBU to think my friend should mind her own business?

[MounjaMum]

Last month I spent £540 in going out. That does not include when we go out as a family and my husband pays. I wanted a new handbag as I was running shot and didn't want to dip in savings so hinted to my husband and he gave me the money towards it. My friend said that it was unreasonable of me to do so.
She is saying that I should stop going out so much and should have left it till when I have the money. I am actually upset by the way she said it and told her as much and she is saying that I am acting like a spoilt 'bitch' - her exact words.
Am I being unreasonable in thinking that she should mind her own business!

Oh OP, everything @Enigma54 says makes total sense.
I also apologise as I had misunderstood, I thought this was a bag you've been longing for and now found in the sale, I didn't realise it was an impulse purchase.

You spent £540 on going out ( half of some people’s salary). You saw that you needed a new handbag. Why didn’t you wait until you could afford the new handbag?

How is “ hinting” to your husband that you wanted this bag, teaching your kids a. The value of money and b. That we can’t always have what we want, immediately? Your friend was right. YABU.

@MounjaMum you keep avoiding the question. How much are you saving per month?

'She is saying that I should stop going out so much and should have left it till when I have the money.'

She has a very valid point doesn't she, especially as you decided to moan to her about how broke you are. However, I'm now struggling as to whether this is a fake post or not after the next post where you say that you didn't cook for your son the whole week because DH usually cooks. That is ridiculous!

@Enigma54 - My kids were not involved in this.
@Statsquestion1 - I do not save on a monthly basis - I already have savings.

Food should never be seen or used as a "treat"

"Treat" is a word over used in many occasions.
It really does sound like it's used by people use to justify wasting spending money.

But you can't see how hinting at your husband for him to buy it (when you could just buy it yourself) isn't spoilt behaviour?

@Enigma54 is spot on with her comment and makes very good sense.
On the other hand, it makes no sense at all to blow hundreds on a whim on a handbag if you are 'broke'.

So it's handbags you're shot/short of and not savings itself...

Why didn't you just buy the handbag yourself then?

I am not sure if your logic. If seems you’re close enough to share this stuff, but you wish no opinions to be given if it is not positive. That’s really not how it works.

it would appear you’re a spend thrift, and are quite impressed with your own proliferation. So you expect others to be impressed, even your friend, and you’re pissed she wasn’t. And likely hit a sore point for you where you spend above your means,

@Shatteredallthetimelately - I have no idea- habit I suppose

Your kids may not have been directly involved, I get that. However, you as a mother, wanted an expensive handbag, one which you could not afford
( because you blew your funds).

Instead of doing the grown up thing and waiting until you could afford the bag, you hinted to your husband that you wanted the bag. Needs and wants are very different. What lessons are you going to instil into your children, if this is one of them who has blown all their cash, but then wants an expensive item, which they can’t afford?

@Cloudconfusion - like I said, I just thought she was unreasonable because she is also like this. She spends money going out, buys nice things etc, then turns round and calls me spoilt. I did tell her that I thought she was being mean.

Sounds like a bit of the green eyed monster there in your friend

I also think the responses you are getting here are really quite weird. I think it’s because you appear to have money which seems to trigger people. I also don’t see the issue with your husband giving you money for the bag. He’s your husband!

Very odd.

@JHound IKR - posters are just focussing on this calling me names - no self-respect, lowering myself etc which I find weird as husbands and wives should do nice things for each other

I think complaining about an £800 gift is way more spoilt than receiving a gift from your husband because he wanted to buy you a bag you didn't have the money for straight away. It would unlikely be in a sale at a reduced price for long.

Her lifestyle must be different to yours though for her to have made that comment or maybe she has run into some financial difficulties she doesn't want to talk about. It that's the case she shouldn't take it out on you but people do in weak moments.

I'd let it go and just rein in talk about money for a while. I started avoiding those kind of conversations with friends a long time ago. I found, sooner or later, it always caused issues of some kind.

the funny thing is - I do not think it is as she has a very nice life.
We are due to meet up for coffee this week. I will bring it up.

@Lurkingandlearning Exactly - she is very privileged. She is talking about getting her teeth done and how much that is. We have talked about our holidays this year, planning birthday as both our husbands have big birthdays and a week apart.

God, read the fucking room.

There is a cost of living crisis. And you're upset that your friend made one acidic comment about your spending habits.

This thread is such a load of 💩🙄

Why does she have to cook?

It's not her business, but to some level you make it her business by telling her the ins and outs of your spending. She didn't have to share her opinion, but you don't have to tell her these things or stay her friend if you don't like her personality (part of which is telling you her opinions). I don't remain friends with people I dislike. Life goes on.

I don’t think anybody has to be ok with unsolicited opinions.

It can absolutely be normal. But you are sensitive to people having opinions on it, then don't share.