Aibu? Fathers day…

[Iswimlikeagoldfish]

DS made DH a card at school and didn’t want to give it to dh till later on the day. Dh got upset and felt unappreciated he woke up to no card, so decided to go out drinking with his friends today.

dh turns up at 7pm to grab something from home saying that we don’t appreciate him thats why he’s drinking… qeue ds giving his dad his card. Dh reliezes he’s been a massive twat and says thank you its nice to be appreciated but then still fucks off back out to continue drinking.

aibu to think he’s a twat and just used this as an excuse to drink?! Ai

He will be at a pub showing the football, so he will probably be back at about half one, depending on how far away the pub is.

I REALLY hope he has work tomorrow because 13 hours on the piss is going to HURT.

The more you drip feed the more I wonder if it’s an issue with your relationship.

it sounds like both you and DH don’t know how to do something special for eachother - and it might not be anyone’s fault. But I think it’s rubbish that you don’t get much for your birthday or mothers days - and so it’s not surprising that you and DS put little effort I. Father’s Day. It sounds like the culture of your household.

I don’t know how you can fix this except for a proper talk or councelling. I can imagine the stress that comes with parenting a child with SEN too.

I do hope he is more thoughtful in the future. But it does sound like there may be a much bigger problem with communication.

i can’t believe some of the comments on here about your son being autistic. surely his dad must know the difficulties - what a horror he must be to go off in huff for so long !

Very generous considering it sounds like you don’t EVER get a break or time out with anyone and the got even doesn’t celebrate you on Mother’s Day consistently or properly. Yuck what a hypocrite he is! I’d be furious and hope he hasn’t upset your son.

He wanted to be in the pub with the 'lads'.

It sounds to me like he was looking for an 'excuse' to have a night out. I'm glad that your son seems to be unaffected by his father's behaviour but you were not in the wrong

DH is an arse but what did you/DS for Father’s Day? Any present? Although you should match what he does for Mother’s Day!

@Iswimlikeagoldfish Sorry so many people lack reading comprehension and/or ignore your updates.
He sounds like shit. He had already decided to go out on a bender and was desperately looking for an excuse to do so. You know that.

I wondered that about the AI 🤔

Someone asked that straight away and they didn't answer. Could AI write this? I can't always spot the fake threads, they'll get better in the future I'm sure, I find that worrying.

How old is dh? 12?

A drinker will always prioritise drinking to wife & family

Doesn't excuse his drinking but I can see why he felt hurt and unacknowledged😕

You asked if your DH is a twat. Yes, yes he is.

Is he back??

Thankfully my DH wouldn't give it a second thought. Our children give him a card at any time of day & that's enough. I always get a heartfelt card & flowers on mothers day & again that's more than enough.

But that’s more than the DH got??

Do people really take these days that seriously? And as your son has autism anyway couldn’t you just tell your husband there was something for him but your son wanted to give it to him later, and then you could all have just gone out somewhere? Your husband seems so childish.

Someone who prefers to spend time drinking heavily with friends rather than being with their family because no-one got him a card or forgot Father's Day ?

Sounds like a difficult choice there - he's a real catch, isn't he?

you are married to a drinker.

Possibly he may turn aside from his habit and become some sort of tolerable parent and husband.

Or he will descend into out-and-out alcoholism, of which there are many forms - e.g. the functioning alcoholic, but who nevertheless makes a misery of his family life.
I'm thinking of a dear friend and erstwhile colleague, whose husband was a controller and a domestic abuser. He is now rapidly declining into dementia and she has, perforce, become his carer. Fortunately, in decline he has become less aggressive. Small mercies.

Perhaps next time give him a heads up that there is a card on the way so he knows you do care , maybe some chocolate or soemthing too and pick an activity that you dh might enjoy. He over reacted for sure though.

Honestly, this site is a fucking joke with posters gleefully putting the boot into the OP when her husband is clearly an abusive dickhead who couldn't give a shit about his son.

If Jack the Ripper's wife posted on here about her husband being out all night and returning covered in blood, posters would tell her that she needed to make sure to soak his bloodstained clothes in cold water first before washing them and of course he couldn't be expected to do this himself. The pandering to horrible and often abusive men on here is disgusting.

DH acted like a spoilt child. YANBU.

Oh, I remember thinking it would be better to give my mom a card and a gift a bit later in the day on Mother's day when I was around 8 or 9! Can't explain why I had this idea, it just seemed like a smart thing to do, like I wanted to surprise her or something? Couldn't think of any logical explanation now though 😂needless to say, she was somewhat offended too but at least we laughed about it later!
Your DH is clearly using this as an excuse to go drink, does he do that often?

Change the locks and text him telling him not to bother coming home!