Aibu? Fathers day…

[Iswimlikeagoldfish]

DS made DH a card at school and didn’t want to give it to dh till later on the day. Dh got upset and felt unappreciated he woke up to no card, so decided to go out drinking with his friends today.

dh turns up at 7pm to grab something from home saying that we don’t appreciate him thats why he’s drinking… qeue ds giving his dad his card. Dh reliezes he’s been a massive twat and says thank you its nice to be appreciated but then still fucks off back out to continue drinking.

aibu to think he’s a twat and just used this as an excuse to drink?! Ai

It seems apparent that the OP doesn’t get princess treatment on Mother’s Day or any other day.

And I have never seen a thread where a disappointed mother has reacted by going off on a bender, and being passive aggressive to their disabled child.

A grown up getting upset because they didn't get a card 🤢

Still, resourceful of him to use it to his advantage and get out on the piss. Bonus points for ignoring/punishing his 8 year old all day. Dad of the year.

Next week you have a lie in till 11 and go out at 12:30.

sounds like you matched the Father's Day energy with the Mother's Day energy.

You should have told him. He shouldn't have been such a big baby.

Your Dh sounds hardwork, not quite sure it warrants getting pissed all day, he sounds abit of a child himself but agree with others why wasn't the card mentioned before? Couldn't a plan have been made to spend the day together in advance.

Thank you, on those days I just shrug it off and spend time with ds. I would of made a big effort and I used to make huge efforts but years of “forgetting” etc I reliezed these days weren’t a big deal to dh so made little effort. I do make a effort with his birthday though always have and thats next week so not like he has long to wait for presents etcZ

Wow OP. Lots of drip feed on this post. Son autistic and DH is slap dash and thoughtless on your birthdays/mother's day.

Ah! That could explain why my dog has zero social skills when out for his walk.

I wish more women would be off out too when they wake to a lacklustre Mother's Day.
The drinking is twattish, but I cant otherwise blame him for being pissed off.
If he's the same on MD, feel free to go off amd treat yourself on the day too. They'll survive.

This may be uncharitable of me, but I do have to wonder if "DH" had something lined up with his mates for the day and jumped at the opportunity for an excuse to be out of the house all day. (Sorry @Iswimlikeagoldfish ).

sounds like your marriage could do with a bit of work. Neither of you going to much effort for the other, and your communication was poor today. You two need a heart to heart about how the relationship is going.

Any DH who spends Sunday in the pub rather than with his DC should be immediately dumped imo.

Your DH sounds like a knob, although you should have just told him your DS had made a card if he was in a huff.

I don’t think Father’s Day is a day off parenting (neither is Mother’s Day). I’d be extremely pissed off if DH unilaterally decided with no notice to go out all day to get drunk because he felt slighted by one of our children. Supremely immature behaviour.

Is it quite often you and ds vs dh? What’s shit of dh? That you planned nothing for him and ds wanted to control the day and make him think as he clearly did that neither of you cared? But yay you and ds had the good Father’s Day…

Agree with this

DH needs to grow up.
An adult, disappearing all day because a child didn’t give him a card? It’s quite unbelievable. You must be so cross with him.

Well ops post indicates neither she or ds wanted to do anything with him, or thought it was any form of special dad oriented day.

Your husband is a complete twat and needs to grow the f up

Furious with him. He hasn’t taken a key either so no doubt I’ll get woken up to let him in later!
Ds asleep now, thanked me for a good day and hes happy his dad likes his card so least it’s not effected him!

Pleased to hear that your DS hasn’t been affected by his idiot DF!

Can hardly believe reading your H’s childish behavior. He went out drinking because there wasn’t a Fathers Day card waiting for him upon waking! I mean really! I’m actually sorry your son has a father like this & the example he’s exhibiting.

I don’t understand the importance placed upon ‘these’ type days nowadays.
They were never meant to cause this sadness etc.

Don't let him in later. I wouldn't. That said my partner wouldn't have gone out.

DS is probably used to DH behaviour.

That’s your interpretation but in mine and many other families it’s a special day to spend together. A couple of hours of me time would be one thing, but an all-day bender after a massive lie-in, no way.

It does admittedly sound rather low effort from the OP, but she has since confirmed that she receives similar on Mother’s Day so that’s obviously how this family do things.

Even if he was legitimately disappointed with OP, there’s no excuse for going off in a strop like that. So unfair on his child.

Did your DH realise his Dad had gone off in a sulk?

Surely he picked up on the mood/atmosphere when his father left? Didn’t he wonder where he was all day? Or is he just used to his father doing disappearing acts?