AIBU to feel hurt by my husband's list of faults?

[Timeforachange2026]

Dh and i have been on the rocks for a while. Had come to heads with a massive argument today and he decided to list all my faults during an argument. Below is the list

Don't pay him enough attention.
Don't mase him feel special enough
Am too soft with the kids
Am too boring. Don't have a social life (came up when he called me an awful wife, said I coukd be worse and be out drinking every night etc and he said ooh imagine if you had a social life)
Work too much (both work full time)
Put the kids before him
Put work before him
Don't do enough around the house (I do the washing, load/unload the dishwasher, do all school drop offs and majority of pick ups bar a few odd days. Also all household admin, bills, appointments etc.)
Never listen...this came from an argument where he was shouting upstairs to our eldest...I wasn't listening as it was a conversation between them and didn't hear my name mentioned...and he got thr hump that I didn't answer

In regards to making him feel special or pay enough attention, not sure what else he expects. We work full time, have two young children and various school activities. He finishes work earlier than me and moans i don't finish work at the time on my WFH days to spend time with him (i'm contracted to 5pm??)

Oh and I don't cook dinner enough.

If someone gave this as a lift of flaws...how would you feel

Life's too short. Divorce the condescending prick.

I hope they are not a marriage counsellor!! This man’s behaviour is abusive and a marriage counsellor should be calling it out.

How long have you heen together?

What was life like for you when you started seeing him?

This.

Not sure if it's helpful to look at it this way but he's told you what he really thinks and shown his true colours in how he sees you. It is very hurtful what he's said and he doesn't sound very supportive or understanding of you as his wife and the stresses and strains you have. His words are demeaning, disrespectful and spiteful, really sorry OP. Do you have good family support because he sounds like a royal arse!

Who is clicking she is unreasonable??

What a horrible little man he is.

OP sometimes marriages come to an end and it sounds as if your has. You'll probably be much happier without him.

If that’s the problem then calling her thick and expecting her to apologies for not doing things his way and whinging whenever he has to do something and sucking out of school pick up to have a nap isn’t going to help

What would I say?
Goodbye!

The self-styled marriage counsellors, disturbingly.

I know it’s scary.

Why are you making things up. There isn’t a typical MN response of LTB for one off incidents unless they’re extremely serious. People either see the pattern from the OP or it becomes clear over all of the OP’s posts that the relationship is either abusive or seriously flawed before someone suggests LTB.

He calls you thick and stupid?

Urgh tell him to fuck clean off.

He wants a trad wife but wants you to work full time?!

Absolutely not. All childcare and chores split 50/50. I’ve noticed a surge in greedy bum men. I rather remain single than ever entertain one again.

Before this 'list' I have to ask if you were happy with him op.....?

If that's not a yes, ask yourself why are still together.

He would honestly, absolutely, be told the fuck all the way off. How pathetic. Being single is fine, I promise you.

Throw this one back OP, this is no life for you. Stop making him lunches, stop making his life easier and make plans to leave. You deserve so much better

@Timeforachange2026
What a selfish whiny knob!
And I'm willing to bet he sees himself as perfectly perceived in every way
Ditch this annoying itch
You'll never be good enough
And deserve better
He has no right to say those things to you

There is nothing listed here that can’t be outsourced to a cleaner/ready meal/childminder. This man is absolutely not indispensable and the fact that he is constantly undermining and verbally abusing you is deal-breaker.
It’s time to secure your children’s future by a) speaking to a good solicitor regarding next steps, b) gathering financial information to ensure a good financial settlement and c) separating from this man so that they can see that this behaviour isn’t acceptable in a relationship.

Why?

No one goes from being Mr perfect husband into writing lists overnight. And the fact the OP says they have two children, implies this can't have just happened with the stress of having a child, as the relationship was clearly good enough to have second child.

Or perhaps there were tell-tale signs after the first child that things weren't right?

So I am therefore still hoping that the OP can tell us what redeeming features this man does have, because there must be something good about him.

My husband used to say very similar things. We’re divorced now.

After reading that list of negative remarks your husband has made about you, I'm beginning to wonder, does he have anything positive to say about?

If he thinks and says things like that about you, how on earth do you still have a married life?

How long have you been married, OP?

Wow what an entitled deluded prick

leave and if you can’t leave disengage
and steer doing thjngs for yourself and build a good life for yourself