DH’s sudden obsession with FIRE

[Firewife2]

FIRE is a sort of financial movement where you aggressively save/invest to be able to retire early /be financially free. DH is only 34 but discovered FIRE two years ago and is now utterly obsessed with it and investing aggressively. I don’t think being future aware it a bad thing, but it’s borderline obsession and I feel like he’s forgot to also live in the moment. Without being morbid, he might not even make it.

He earns a reasonable salary (takes home c.3K a month) and now allocates at least a third of this to saving/investing, so there is little room after bills for luxuries such as meals out etc.

I know it’s his choice, that’s obvious, but I am interested in what others think and it my viewpoint is unreasonable at all.

Probably, because she will still be working.

I do not criticise anyone for saying live for today, or you might die before you retire, that makes sense when you are at that stage of your life. But things do look very different when you get to 50. The last 10 or even 20 years in an ordinary stressfull job can really take it out of you and damage your health.

We’ve started getting into FIRE recently and we’re in our 40s, I wish I’d known about it at 34 (or even saved better) We want to retire around 7 years early so we can have a longer and (hopefully) healthier retirement. Let him get on with it.

My dad retired at 50, and has been shuffling about the house for 25 years now…

I love my job
hope to work for as long as possible
part time, perfect
I wonder why the focus is always on giving up work asap rather than working towards getting a job you love so that you keep you earning whilst also enjoying your life

And presumably when you were saving, these plans involving your children were in your thoughts.

it seems like the OP’s husbands ambition is just to give to up work asap

I kind of got into this a bit at the same age. Didn’t keep it up as kids happened and nursery is expensive!

You can ask him to loosen it slightly. But honestly the money I invested 6-7 years ago has more than doubled. Worth playing about with a compound interest calculator.

This is making me think I need to start doing it again to a degree. I realised how much I frittered away on unexceptional meals, lunches, coffee, buying little treats.

This. He doesn’t earn nearly enough for his age.

He’s on a pretty modest salary! I don’t think someone at 34 with a young family on a very modest salary can be squirrelling away a third of their salary

His focus should be on increasing his salary

To do FIRE or generally?

For £3k take home would be on a salary over £46k, more if he has student loans. That’s more than the average salary and more than most people earn.

Whether it’s enough for FIRE is a separate debate.

That is the ideal situation and I am happy for you. But we do not live in an ideal world. A lot of people do not like ther jobs and feel burnt out. They are unable to re-train simply because they are financially trapped in that situation they are in. Also the majority of folk in working class occupations may not be physically able to work in later life.

Part of it is about having the choice to. Some people’s jobs are very stressful and you aren’t able to be part time (my sector for example). it would be nice to be able to be around more with the kids, be able to make the decision to go travelling for the summer holidays with them for example. And something like having those investments frees you up for that. A lot of people having done fire do seem to volunteer or pick up lower stress interesting jobs as and when they want. They travel. They take on projects or homestead (a lot is in the US) It’s not a plan to just watch tv for 40 odd years

Fair enough

Because most people are not, can’t, or are unable to work in a job they love. If you are able to do that you have hit the jackpot in life, but in reality most people are in a job they tolerate (if they’re lucky) or they detest (if they’re not).

The vast majority of us go to work to pay the bills, but we would rather be doing something else. Having financial freedom would mean one wouldn’t have to worry about keeping the job with the reasonable salary and could afford to pursue something else, or about the next round of redundancies etc.

i wouldn’t call it a very modest salary, that’s so rude. At 34 he likely has much more earning potential in the future.

But with his £1k a month savings, that’s £84k saved in seven years, and it roughly doubles every seven years due to compounding. So being able to have almost £170k in seven years, that will continue increasing just by leaving it invested is brilliant.

Is that how he would view his life? Or just you being belittling?

“Very rude”

i think it’s a very modest salary
you, quite clearly, don’t

DH and I were investing before we met, from in our very early twenties, both aligned with what we wanted standard of living wise. It was a holiday abroad every year and also a couple of breaks in the UK, lunch or dinner out once a week. I don’t rate take away food much so don’t see it as a treat at all.

Then this is what is very lucky for us. His family still owned his great grandparents house with a few acres. His sister lives in Spain and his farming cousins are on the border of Wales, another relocated to The Channel Islands. I have relatives in America and Hong Kong and my home town is a very pretty rural seaside tiny town. MIL is 20 minutes from Waterloo. We host back and live on edge of the Peak District so people like visiting us.

We both retired by 56, DH is a bit younger than me, I signed up for a pension at 21 which was the best financial decision I ever made. You have the price of housing against you, we bought in 1999 just before house prices went totally mental and we live in a cheap part of the country. So it was a mixture of born at the right time, good income and loads of relatives in holiday resorts.

You haven’t mentioned your income what’s your combined income? .

I work for a charity that needs lots of volunteers. We are (very fortunately) inundated with people in their 60's who retired early - Usually looking for structure to their week.

My personal FIRE is not to retired early, but to have a job I don't hate and I am still able to do, so that I don't mind working until 68. I think I would be much too restless, and dare I say bored at home the majority of my 50's and beyond.

It would be a modest household income if only one person is working.

Otherwise it’s above the average salary and many people could only dream of earning that.

Is he refusing to got out for a meals etc as often as you like because that money is earmarked for his investing? If he was rigidly saying no I can't spend an extra £50 on going for a meal because I need to put the exact same amount into S&I each month, I can see why that would feel restrictive.

Otherwise, I'm not sure why it's a problem. We've always saved and invested as much money as we can. We're in our 40s and about to sell our business and (hopefully) buy an awesome house outright using the money we've saved and invested for the last 20 years. We won't need to work as we have enough money to live off, although we probably will end up doing some part time work at some stages.

@KitKatKathy I volunteered loads over 5 years while I awaited whippersnapper DH. I now have voluntary positions that are fine with me being flexible, we traveled for 7 weeks last year would have been 12 minimum but MIL needed care, we are about to be away for almost 5 months in our Motorhome returning for a 2 week period. My voluntary jobs are very understanding of this. Another volunteer at one place also travels in the summer months and they are happy to have him back.

It seems odd to call a salary that is over 25% higher than the national average "very modest". Have you lost sight of what ordinary people earn?

I think it’s very modest to be squirrelling away £1k / month
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