AIBU to challenge the school’s wording about pupils rolling skirts up?

[GreenSalon]

Weekly newsletter today from DC’s secondary school contained a paragraph on uniform including the fact that there have been complaints from the public about “pupils who choose to wear skirts” rolling them up to wear them extremely short. It finishes with asking parents to speak to their children about why this is “not a good idea”.

Now, apart from the fact I assume that they must mean girls, is this not clearly implying that short skirts = making themselves vulnerable and if is, then if anything bad happens as a result it is their own fault? I thought we had moved beyond this kind of nonsense.

I only have boys at the school not girls but want to write to the head to point out how utterly sexist this is. DH agrees with me pov but thinks I shouldn’t write. AIBU?

I don't think they should impose themselves stringent rules on kids. Why even have uniform? I know of quite a few schools that don't and they're above average reputation wise.

Good, perhaps she won’t do it again!

Yes because she's not sitting in a correct way and she's showing something. Better tell and then they can correct it.

Poor schools: they can't win! . 'Pupils who choose to wear skirts' seems carefully and intelligently worded. The best schools have supportive, not pedantic, parents.

but where is the definition for “correct way” ? There isn’t

so fine if “please take your shoes off the seat”. Why? It’s written all over trains not to do this!

someone picking their nose? Gross!! But I wouldn’t tell them to stop. I would avoid looking or move away

and I simply wouldn’t discipline a teen girl on public transport

but hey… we do things differently, no biggie

so fine if “please take your shoes off the seat”. Why? It’s written all over trains not to do this!

But that's not a general information sign - e.g. 'Ticket office this way' - it's a sign that should clearly not have to be there, but nevertheless does need to be there, because enough people don't understand the very basic skill of not putting your shoes on a seat where somebody else will be sitting, or simply don't care about anybody else who isn't them.

It's not like there are going to be loads of passengers wondering whether or not it's a 'shoes on the seat' train until they see the sign and realise that it isn't. It's like the signs telling dog walkers to pick up their pet's poo and bag it and bin it - there isn't anybody who genuinely doesn't know this.

Maybe the signs are put up in desperation; or maybe there's an element of shaming people for very poor behaviour that's involved. Either way, it's probably fruitless, as the kind of people at whom the signs are aimed will just ignore them; and the sort who do bother to read them will just be left wondering why on earth anybody would need a notice to tell them that extremely basic standard of common-sense behaviour.

Well considering that, from her reaction, she either couldn't care less about flashing everybody or was even doing it deliberately, maybe she does need people to tell her that it's not acceptable, rather than just leave her to totally ignore common decency and other people's feelings.

So much is really not on

nose picking
Eating With your mouth open
picking at a scab

but…. I wouldn’t tell avoid looking or move.

someone blocking a seat because they’ve put their feet on it? I’d say please can you get your feet off the chair

all I’m saying… to a teen girl I would not pick her up about how she’s sitting inappropriately . I just wouldn’t

“Looked at me like I was a dinosaur” doesn’t read that to me

shocked probably

anyway this is getting into daft speculation!

you would do this to a teen girl in public
I wouldn’t

🤷‍♀️

Social etiquette and social norms are a thing.

I guess she was sitting cross legged in a skirt and you could see it. Some things aren't meant for public view 🤷‍♀️

If someone is accidentally flashing their pants do you not think they might want to correct that......

Indeed. Either they will appreciate you telling them, having been unaware, and will hastily correct it; or otherwise they won't care about others, or even be doing it deliberately, in which case they should be informed in a way that makes it clear it's not a socially-acceptable thing to do.

I've had to correct DS. He gets flustered, is embarrassed, fixes it and moves on. He's not showing it off on purpose to get a reaction...

Yes.
Usually that's done at age 4 in primary schools !
Why is it perfectly normal to tell 4 year olds (male and female) we don't want to see their underwear yet teens we mustn't dare mention it.

Thank God! So many sane replies in contrast to a similar thread a few weeks ago where pps were claiming that young women shouldn't be discouraged from wearing this horrible fashion and that anyone objecting shouldn't look.

I think schools should move to an all trouser uniform. That'd sort it out.

To girls who want to show us their arse cheeks in a school context I would say: 99.9% of people don't want to see them, and as for the 0.1% who do...eeww...do you really want them to?

This! Couldn't have said it any better!

My friend teaches a practical subject in a secondary school and has to regularly take girls aside to let them know she can see their underwear, bum cheeks and sometimes even more. Male teachers avoid going up the stairs at class change over time because they know they'll get an eyeful and want to avoid being accused of doing it deliberately. I don't think this is about short skirts making girls more vulnerable (although it almost certainly is) - it's about keeping your private parts covered in public and parents absolutely should be paying attention to that. You'd never let a teenage boy get away with having his willy hanging out his fly, and that's similar to the state of undress some girls are entering schools in.

Look, we all know that a girl should wear what she please, men shouldn’t look etc. But when I see a schoolgirl in a super short skirt I just feel sad. It’s sad that since I was in school society tells a girl they should wear skimpy clothes to look appealing. Maybe they just mean parents should encourage their children to dress appropriately and not adhere to the bullshit sheep mentality teenagers have.

Leaving out all the politics around how people OUGHT to behave and react, do you feel that ultra-short skirts ARE a good idea? If not, find a way to to present this to your daughter and stop quibbling.

Honestly, it’s about self-respect. Women, i.e. young girls, should be told, it’s not acceptable to go for the hooker look, where your arzz is showing to everyone.

By someone saying this isn’t acceptable, it means they don’t go in the workplace thinking it’s ok to show to their Fanny & thinking micro skirts are ok.

It’s not about saying you should control yourselves - that’s true - but having dignity in your circumstances.

I have the same gripe with Asda selling sexy bikinis for 8-year olds.

The local comp flooding out at 3pm every day, and the teenage girls are wearing short shorts, ie jumbo knickers, and no, they aren’t going to the gym either.

Someone at home should be saying you ain’t going outside the house dressed like that.

It’s eye-popping attention grabbing, for men and women.

No wonder teachers are leaving the profession in record numbers and demanding body-cams.

As girls we were forced to wear skirts to school no trousers allowed. Our skirts weren't allowed to be more than an inch above the knee. The disgusting comments we had to put up with walking to and from school from men was terrible. Sometimes the men had their children in the back of the car. It was obvious we were children, it was sickening. Its sad to hear its not much better now. I think all pupils should wear trousers at all schools. If it stops one sick pervert having any enjoyment it's worth it.

We used to roll up our skirts at school but not so high you could see our arses! That’s the issue.

Showing your arse to strangers has never been part of the feminist movement.

When my DSs went to secondary school and we had the upcoming year 7 parent and student evening, the rules about skirts were "skirts must not be rolled up". No reason given, and there didn't need to be.

Where have you all been? I was rolling my skirt up when I was 15 am 76 now
The only person who complained was my father !!!