AIBU to challenge the school’s wording about pupils rolling skirts up?

[GreenSalon]

Weekly newsletter today from DC’s secondary school contained a paragraph on uniform including the fact that there have been complaints from the public about “pupils who choose to wear skirts” rolling them up to wear them extremely short. It finishes with asking parents to speak to their children about why this is “not a good idea”.

Now, apart from the fact I assume that they must mean girls, is this not clearly implying that short skirts = making themselves vulnerable and if is, then if anything bad happens as a result it is their own fault? I thought we had moved beyond this kind of nonsense.

I only have boys at the school not girls but want to write to the head to point out how utterly sexist this is. DH agrees with me pov but thinks I shouldn’t write. AIBU?

Its not a good idea because theyre likely to show their underwear when going up stairs or bending over, and also may get in trouble for breaking uniform rules, surely its an easy conversation for you to have? The same as you would speak to a son if he was wearing his trousers too baggy and showing his pants.

Can I be honest. If my son is accidentally showing off his underwear, I tell him, he's embarrassed and he fixes it.

The wording is absolutely fine. It's not like the school pointed out what they actually wanted to say - that having your underwear on display in public is simply not a good idea.

I had to tell a boy last week to pull his trousers up. They were hanging down below his arse cheeks, with his underwear on full display. I am awaiting a complaint.

I've had these discussions with teenagers countless times over the last 2 decades.

• Being even more sexualised at a time when misogyny, unwanted comments and unwanted touching is a huge problem in schools. It shouldn't happen, of course, and it's being dealt with as and when, but you don't need to make the issue worse.
• Male teachers having to constantly be on guard. They can't walk up the stairs behind girls, can't bend down to pick something up next to girls, can't even look at what Cassandra is doing under the desk with what is definitely not blatantly obviously a phone without fear of being accused of perving.
• Being unable to participate in so many events because they cannot move naturally (oh the discussions when we had an inflatable slide for our summer fair).
• The risk of upskirting. A crime made so much easier when the skirt is basically a belt. Again, it shouldn't happen, but the reality is that it does.

I'm sure there are more. It's tedious. It will, once again, penalise those who follow the rules and wear skirts sensibly when schools eventually ban them.

I quoted incorrectly

This is victim blaming. Educate those giving the unwanted attention not to give it. But in a professional environment everyone should dress appropriately and that is the point the school is making

Some girls do take the piss a bit and literally have arse cheeks on show. My DD’s are teens and think girls who do this are gross, I’m inclined to agree. They do it with shorts in the summer too.

Sorry, this is naive BS.

Male teachers having to constantly be on guard. They can't walk up the stairs behind girls, can't bend down to pick something up next to girls, can't even look at what Cassandra is doing under the desk with what is definitely not blatantly obviously a phone without fear of being accused of perving.

And they wonder why there's a struggle to recruit/ retain male teachers.

Don’t make a fool of yourself by writing to the school. YABU, totally.

It’s reading threads like this that makes me so glad my teenage daughter is not in high school in the UK. Ridiculous trend. Schools are right to crack down on it. No pun intended.

It's bad enough for women teachers. So many girls wear those tube skirts which roll up when they sit down.
When they stand up for dismissal I make sure that I look away because of the underwear on display.

I think those girls are very aware about what is and isn’t appropriate!

So many posters have said that 'no one wants to see that' (meaning bums or knickers) - but one problem is that many men absolutely do want to see 'that', which is why they hang about around schools.

The op being one of them?

Oh bollocks is it. Pointing out that purposefully dressing in a way that displays your intimate areas to the general public is likely to result in sexual attention is not victim blaming. Better to ask why some teenage girls have such a desperate need for sexual attention to validate them.

Your username is very misleading @Makingsenseofitall

Come on, give it a rest. Trying to suggest I don’t have “capacity” is again, another unnecessary personal insult.

Plenty of posters have robustly disagreed with my post. That’s AIBU. Few however have felt the need to add sly digs about my personality or assumed level of intelligence. Other than you.

I did see everything on show travelling home on the train one afternoon as a school girl sat cross legged in the luggage rack. I politely told her she might want to sit differently and she looked at me like i was a dinosaur. As a mother of a primary school aged child i make mine wear cycling shorts under her skirt and tell her knickers should never be on show. A rule i plan to carry on when she goes to secondary school.

You read the newsletter and didn’t grasp what it was saying instead seeing it as controlling and an affront to feminism.

So yes… you did appear to appear to * not have the capacity to draw the correct inference*

Oh you shouldn’t have done that.

That will stay with her for life and would have been mortifying for a teen.

Can't see what OP did wrong. If a young girl was sitting in an very "unladylike" manner in public, nothing wrong with letting her know some bits that shouldn't be visible are showing . And no it won't stay with her for life. As with most things she'll move on and forget about it.

We have had a spat of boys with trousers being worn balanced on their hips with boxers hanging out the top, I tell them off as much as I mention girls skirts.

With the girls I work on the basis that if they are having to check multiple times its not to far up (the girls walk around with one hand down their backs holding the skirts down) it probably is. It really isn't a good look seeing bum cheeks hanging out. As for the sweaty seats they leave behind - depending on the year group I may mention this in passing as it gives them the ick!

I particularly hate our school skorts - unbelievable short!

13/14/15 year old girl, on public transport, a fellow traveller tells her to adjust how she’s sitting.

Yes, I do think that no on, most teen girls would have been mortified

No I had an opinion. And shared it here.

Anyway you’re apparently very invested in this thread for some reason so have at it. The votes are in and it’s a lovely day outside so I’ll put my energy elsewhere.

I could finish with the suggestion that you’re an overly zealous key board warrior with no apparent life but I won’t as that would be making assumptions about you and your personality.

Yes

and my opinion was you struggled to interpret what the school meant

but good old mumsnet put you straight

so happy ending and you won’t now waste the school’s a time with another complaint