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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to challenge the school’s wording about pupils rolling skirts up?

208 replies

GreenSalon · Today 17:50

Weekly newsletter today from DC’s secondary school contained a paragraph on uniform including the fact that there have been complaints from the public about “pupils who choose to wear skirts” rolling them up to wear them extremely short. It finishes with asking parents to speak to their children about why this is “not a good idea”.

Now, apart from the fact I assume that they must mean girls, is this not clearly implying that short skirts = making themselves vulnerable and if is, then if anything bad happens as a result it is their own fault? I thought we had moved beyond this kind of nonsense.

I only have boys at the school not girls but want to write to the head to point out how utterly sexist this is. DH agrees with me pov but thinks I shouldn’t write. AIBU?

OP posts:
Robertplantgoddess · Today 17:53

If its anything like some of the girls around here then its literally your arse showing. I think that it isn't a good look and nothing to do with boys being unable to control themselves just taking a bit of pride in yourself and your school.

NotAnotherScarf · Today 17:57

As a man in his 50s I'm not attracted to teenage girls or any female under about 45 to be honest. But I'm fed up, as I have to pass our local comp, of seeing Monday's washing. It's not pleasant... please don't say look away, because I would walk into one of the dawdling beggars as they walk 5 abreast on the pavement ahead of me.

Cantthinkofanewusernameffs · Today 17:57

How should they have phrased it?

Vespanest · Today 17:59

There is so much peer pressure for girls to roll up their skirts that strict rules protect those girls who really do not want to but do to feel included. The message could have been clearer but living next to a secondary school there have been incidents of photographing and as it's from behind it's not classed as up skirting.

ToffeeCrabApple · Today 17:59

Robertplantgoddess · Today 17:53

If its anything like some of the girls around here then its literally your arse showing. I think that it isn't a good look and nothing to do with boys being unable to control themselves just taking a bit of pride in yourself and your school.

This. Nobody wants to see these girls arse cheeks hanging out the bottom of a "skirt" that barely qualifies as a belt. Its scruffy.

BotterMon · Today 18:00

Nothing about making themselves vulnerable; just that the general public don't like seeing their arse cheeks on display.

padsi1975 · Today 18:00

Having seen literal butt cheeks of girls going to the local comp here, I wish to God they'd sort it out. I don't want to see any kids bum on my daily commute. It is inappropriate and reflects poorly on the school. I'd feel the same if the boys had their bums hanging out.

Nursemumma92 · Today 18:01

I agree they could have phrased the bit where they ask parents to speak to their children about 'why it is not a good idea' a bit better.

They should have said 'why it is not appropriate' instead.

The way the girls wear their skirts around here, they may as well not be wearing one.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · Today 18:02

No I wouldn’t complain. My child’s school has the same problem with girls rolling their skirts up so high that knickers are on display at the back. It’s such a problem the school are considering a uniform change to trousers only.

HelenaWilson · Today 18:02

I only have boys at the school not girls but want to write to the head to point out how utterly sexist this is.

How is it sexist? It doesn't specify girls. It refers to pupils who wear skirts.

is this not clearly implying that short skirts = making themselves vulnerable and if is, then if anything bad happens as a result it is their own fault?

No, it's saying that members of the public don't want to see schoolgirls' knickers and arses. Or anyone else's knickers and arse, for that matter.

The message could have been clearer

What do you think it should have said?

Thirteenblackcats · Today 18:02

Ordinarily I would have agreed with you on the wording, but some of the news recently has been worrying.

if general public have complained then it does need addressing

Sahara123 · Today 18:03

I work in a school and honestly? I’m fed up with trying to avert my eyes walking up the stairs behind someone in a really short skirt. If I can see the darker top part of your tights your skirt is too short. Or your knickers. Nothing to do with sexism or boys, it’s not a good look. Have some self respect.

DreamyScroller · Today 18:03

Why do some people refuse to accept that girls showing their bodies is likely to attract unwanted attention? You can call it sexist all you want. It's still true.

spritzwiththat · Today 18:05

FFS. Parent your child and don’t moan at schools. Rules are rules. Follow them or find another school or home educate.
there’s enough shit to deal with without complaints from parents about entirely reasonable things.

Darragon · Today 18:05

There are boys who choose to wear skirts at some schools OP, nothing to do with transgender or whatever else you're offended about. There was one in the news I think it was last year or the year before. I think it's only fair that this rule apply to anyone wearing a skirt, not just girls. Most uniform rules disproportionately affect girls.

Wellywanda3 · Today 18:06

I think this is a good letter - I speak as a parent of a daughter. We need to teach our daughters about the real world and help them develop a sense of decency and self respect. So tired of seeing girls walking to school with too short a skirt - we women need to make sure our girls are aware.

Justwelldoit · Today 18:06

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

CricketIsASport · Today 18:07

Oh god. No one should be assaulted for wearing revealing clothing. But it doesn't make it appropriate to wear to school. Simple as.

Drivingselfmad · Today 18:07

Teacher here. It’s not a good idea because you can see their bum cheeks. I’m sure that’s not the effect they were going for when they rolled their skirt. And if it was, it’s not appropriate for school to show your bum cheeks. Hope that helps.

Justwelldoit · Today 18:07

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

CricketIsASport · Today 18:07

Same reason no boys should be hit for sagging but it's not appropriate

GettingFestiveNow · Today 18:09

I wonder if you might feel differently about this if you had daughters OP? Or if the boys had taken to going into school wearing Speedos instead of trousers?

Decacaffeinatednow · Today 18:09

I am a woman. I do not want to see teenage girls’ butt cheeks.
I agree with the school.

NotNatacha · Today 18:10

“pupils who choose to wear skirts”

Can the girls wear trousers if they choose?

Seconding @Vespanest’s post, I agree that it can be peer pressure that gets the girls to roll their skirts up. I live somewhere with a university which gets a lot of school visits, the students walk about the city in groups and are often in school uniform. Usually the girls’ skirts from any particular school will be of a similar length, which may not be the same as any other school.

The message might be sexist, but it’s practical and realistic.

JLou08 · Today 18:11

I have a girl who wears a skirt. I wouldn't be offended at this letter. I'd explain to my DD the reasons it is important to not roll it up
1.Your not protecting your dignity, people may see your underwear and bum when you bend over or walk up the stairs.

  1. You're at school and the dress code is for skirts to be just above the knee. Not adhering to the dress code could land you in detention. Not adhering to appropriate dress codes as an adult could prevent you getting the job you want.