AIBU to challenge the school’s wording about pupils rolling skirts up?

[GreenSalon]

Weekly newsletter today from DC’s secondary school contained a paragraph on uniform including the fact that there have been complaints from the public about “pupils who choose to wear skirts” rolling them up to wear them extremely short. It finishes with asking parents to speak to their children about why this is “not a good idea”.

Now, apart from the fact I assume that they must mean girls, is this not clearly implying that short skirts = making themselves vulnerable and if is, then if anything bad happens as a result it is their own fault? I thought we had moved beyond this kind of nonsense.

I only have boys at the school not girls but want to write to the head to point out how utterly sexist this is. DH agrees with me pov but thinks I shouldn’t write. AIBU?

I posted in response to GreenSalon, but it disappeared- why?

Then the small number will learn to sort their dress issues out.. Those who dress normally have nothing to worry.

There’s plenty of stuff that’s distracting to boys in school. Like radiators (don’t ask!). Can’t remove them all.

I am asking about the radiators!

That seems like quite sensitive wording, leaving it to parents to choose how to discuss

What would they find more distracting? What are they biologically wired to?

Sorry but it is indecent dressing and not appropriate for school that I constantly see ass cheeks in morning when heading to school. Especially as lots of school skirts are flared / pleated and they insist on whether socks, it is indecent.

school rules should help teach what is / is not appropriate in the workplace imo.

Upskirting is also a thing.

Yes, the school has been very measured. Nothing to complain about at all. Imo, the complaint culture amongst parents/ in schools is completely out of control. It just wears staff down and most complaints are just unnecessary.

No matter what wording the school used, I suspect @GreenSalon would have started a thread about wanting to challenge the school about it

Absolutely this. Many parents just don't realise what it's like and how inundated HTs - and other staff are - are with this kind of nonsense.
Genuine concerns, fine. However, the number of petty and inconsequential complaints ( usually ending "I await your prompt response") is growing.
I am glad that the OP has asked for advice on this, and doesn't complain.

Maybe they are just heart sick of bare arses on show.
Can you imagine a boy walking round school with his arse out?

Because they are "empowered" .
Apparently.

Oh absolutely.

The girls I teach who come to school in loose trousers and DMs seem the most empowered to me. They don't care about the male gaze or how many boys fancy them. They're in the minority though.

There’s a thread going at the moment about teens thinking it’s gross to have their toes on display - someone said they’ve had it drummed into them that feet are sexualised - but putting your arse cheeks on display is absolutely fine? It’s crazy.

Yes, this. It seems absolutely bonkers (and somewhat egocentric) when somebody says to a very large group "IF you do this, you need to stop it" and then people start frothing about how dare people tell them off for something they haven't done!

I wonder if these people also take offence at the signs in supermarkets saying "Shoplifters: we always prosecute" - as though they assume that, because they happen to have seen the sign, it's a personal accusation?!

I dont think you are being unreasonable in seeking to highlight their unclear wording - they could have been clearer and explained it is about dignity and inappropriate and unsuitable exposure of bottoms

It's strange because we live in a world that's stuffed full of outrageous male entitlement; yet this is one of the rare occasions when it goes the other way.

Arguments about whether men and boys are perverts, or why should anybody have the right to tell me what I can wear, or they shouldn't be looking, or whatever... these are all needless distractions.

The simple response is who on earth do you think you are to feel entitled to walk around in public flashing everybody and forcing people to see your bum, underwear or worse?

Even aside from the basic fact that you're at an institution that has a compulsory uniform, so you don't get to be special and just decide that you will make your own alternative choice. If they specify a skirt of a certain minimum length, then one that is clearly far shorter than that is no more acceptable than turning up in, say, double denim, or an orange boiler suit, or a bikini; because they are emphatically not an allowable variant of the uniform.

As for upskirting, surely if we acknowledge that it's a creepy, horribly invasive crime for somebody to commit, why would it not follow that it's also clearly wrong to force somebody to unwittingly and unwillingly do it, when they're just innocently walking along behind you?

Personally I wouldn’t complain. The school should have compared this to preparing children for a workplace, where there will be standards of acceptable dress. And that school uniform standards are one way of preparing pupils for the wider world early etc.

Surely this is extremely obvious to most people - the parents receiving the letter, even if some of the children don't quite get it?

How can we have come to a place where teenagers not only freely walk around with their buttocks, knickers and even more intimate parts on display, but we then have to actually explain in detail to them AND to the adults charged with looking after them why this is not a good idea?

If somebody puts out a big sign warning 'wet paint' in public, nobody generally accuses them of being terribly remiss and unclear by not adding at the bottom of the sign exactly why you would want to avoid touching it.

The wording is fine. It clearly states that it is not acceptable, but it gives parents the choice of explaining why. I much prefer and support this approach , rather than other wordings I’ve seen.

I work in a high school. Rolling is a huge problem I'm a 50 year old woman and I dont want to see everyone's underwear. How is it sexist?

I disagree that the wording is fine. The reason for that is not all parents will have the capacity to draw the correct inference. Some things need to be explained. Tell them why its not acceptable - rather than leave it open to incorrect inferences.

People really need to be told why showing your private body parts and pants in public is inappropriate?!

Yet I bet, if they had a specific PSHE lesson - with these secondary school students - explaining the pants rule (maybe alongside how to brush your teeth properly and remembering to always wash your hands after you've been to the toilet), these parents who apparently can't see why this is inappropriate would be complaining to the school about patronising their teenager, wasting their time teaching them the obvious and - quite likely - accusing the teachers of being perverts who should have their hard drives checked for wanting to talk about pants and bums with teenagers.

What would be those incorrect inferences?