To take an extra sibling if not allowed? Super Selective Grammar School visit.

[NameChanger206]

DS is in year 5, currently preparing for 11 plus for grammar schools in Sutton. One of the schools has a ticketed visit early next week. both of us and DS1 want to see the school (if he gets offered a place it will be very difficult for us to decide having not all seen it) however we have no one to watch our younger DS (yr 2). It says 3 tickets per family, but I’m wondering if IWBU to bring DS2 as we are not sure how to handle it otherwise

Super selective and you're going to ignore their first request? Not a wise move. Hire a babysitter

One wait close by and swap half way through? Arrange a play date? It’s ticketed. It’s not their problem that your childcare is tricky.

Get a babysitter or one adult stays at home with younger child

when I say super selective I mean based on test results, there is no interview or other judgment. It’s Wilson’s School - for context

It's a ticketed event and your 7 year old won't have a ticket so no you can't take them. Surely you can hire someone to watch them or ask a another parent/relative to have them for a bit.

The ones here do open days in Sept and June, maybe one of you goes in September and one in June? The ones here seem to specify one adult per child!

Don't be so ridiculous, it doesn't need both adults and you definitely can't take your younger child.

They will notice, most people will be there with 2 adults and 1 child, so your 2nd child, especially as they’re young, will really stand out. It might be awkward as you might end up having to stand outside anyway.

You don’t need to both go!

I would call and ask. If they say yes, all good. If they say no, then you save yourself the embarrassment later.

One of you stays close by with 2 year old then swap over. Do not be rude and take 2 year old without a ticket. If you did turn up with the 2 year old they would probably refuse admittance and embarrass your 10 year old

This is what we were maybe thinking if they don’t let us in, though I think it’s a structured tour and talk so may not be easy to swap.

it’s too late in evening for a play date. And we’ve not used babysitting agencies before, just 8-6 wraparound etc. our usual family go have had recent health emergencies.

We are really undecided if we want DS to go to this particular school though. I do think we both need to see it.

IME visits to popular schools are crammed and hectic, it won’t be easy to get in and out. I would suggest either one parent goes or you ask a school friend’s parent to take DS2.

Can you get a friend to watch DS2?

It’s an important decision and you both need to go

Sleepover
Agency babysitter
Neighbour/local teenager

Send your youngest to a friends house.

Of course you can’t take him, that’s why they give 3 tickets. Otherwise they’d have offered more tickets. There are various childcare options available, or I’d have just organised a play date.

Having a 3 tickets per family rule very much says to me they don’t want other siblings on visits. That’s very clearly the potential pupil and their parents.

Ignoring that would be both downright rude, and also a very poor start to any relationship with the school.

They’ll have the rule for a reason.

Find someone or trust each other and send one adult and the child

All you can do is call and ask nicely, and then accept the answer. If you really can't find anyone then one of.you will have to stay with DC2. What kind of kid is he? Laid back enough to ask a neighbour or friend who wouldn't usually have him? Stuff like this is difficult and it sucks. Good luck

Just book into a second event 🤷

You don't both need to go though... Unless you or DH are unable to disseminate information???

If everyone around you has health "emergencies" that means they are unable to stay in your house whilst a toddler is asleep, how do they look after them normally?

• you ring and ask
• you get a sitter - friend/family/hired sitter
• one of you goes with eldest, other stays home
• one of you takes both children one of you stays home

They are the options you have

Rocking up ignoring the rules won't look good, how embarrassing would it be if you got to the door to be told only 3 can come in.

Rather than ask on Mumsnet you need to message them and ask

I did this when I wanted two child tickets (albeit to take a friend's son whose parents couldn't go)