To take an extra sibling if not allowed? Super Selective Grammar School visit.

[NameChanger206]

DS is in year 5, currently preparing for 11 plus for grammar schools in Sutton. One of the schools has a ticketed visit early next week. both of us and DS1 want to see the school (if he gets offered a place it will be very difficult for us to decide having not all seen it) however we have no one to watch our younger DS (yr 2). It says 3 tickets per family, but I’m wondering if IWBU to bring DS2 as we are not sure how to handle it otherwise

If they have to they do.
However we use other options first. Like friends and trusted neighbours.
In this scenario I would pay my colleague's teenager to sit with my kid. They would just play/watch TV, I'd leave food out for them and then take her home. 8 pm is not like 1 am.

Ask one friend who has a hands on partner. We swapped favours quite a lot for this kind of early evening timeslot. Either guest child comes over and you keep the older ones up a bit in front of a film, or one partner puts own kids to bed and the other goes over and babysits at guest child's house. We used to take it in turns to do bedtime by this age so it was very little imposition to spend a couple of hours on a friend's sofa. And if it's easier for them to have son over and treat it as a long playdate, that's fine too. Whatever is easiest for babysitting parents.

You're going to have to navigate the difference of opinion over grammar schools one way or another. All of you will need to do school visits imminently, and you have a whole summer hols ahead where you can return any favours.

Do people really leave their kids with ad hoc strangers, even for a few hours?

Yes, of course they do - otherwise such services wouldn’t even exist!

It's surely your child's choice if he wants to go or not so one parent will be more than ample.

These type of posts really annoy me this is what we've been told but we want it to not apply towards us and we've left it till last minute.
If every single person had the same attitude that potentially means lots of other people with lots of other children Or do you think you are literally the only one who might have childcare problems.
I'm assuming they haven't only just told you about this open day so you've had time to arrange childcare or decide between you who goes and who stayed with the other child. Presumably if you go you can collect the information ask any questions and explain it all to your husband and vice versa. You may want both of you to go but if you can't arrange childcare then you can't can you.

I used to work for an ad hoc nanny agency and would literally turn up on the doorstep, a 10 minute briefing from the parent and be left with anything from 2 month old twins to a heap of tweenagers and just be expected to get on with it!

In terms of your actual question - they will have other open days/evenings that aren’t aimed at Year 5 parents in the autumn term. Ring them to find out about these dates. For this open evening, just one parent goes with DS. Or take DS2 but be prepared for tutting and not letting him in.

Of course people use paid for childcare, it’s why it exists. In fact, many people use teenagers quite happily for this - both my dds have more requests for babysitting jobs than they have time for. And one up from that, of course people use proper childcare where the sitters have to go through the usual DBS etc Your question was passive aggressive and sneery since it’s obvious they do. They exist for reasons like this, for the unentitled people who realise that rules apply to them too.

with regards to friends, I would say my friends and I probably on almost a weekly basis would be requesting play dates from each other for one reason or another. We all reciprocated so it was all fine.

Unlikely to be allowed. Arrange childcare/friend to watch younger child and if impossible 1 parent will need to take older child and then discuss with the parent unable to attend.

If yr5 and won't be attending the school until yr7 there will be other opportunities to visit the school.

Just ask a friend to come and babysit. Explain why and that you’d be happy to pay them or return the favour etc.

Actually it can have an impact on the selection process. If there are two places available, the child whose parents bent the rules will be passed over.

Oh stop it 😂

Pretty sure grammars have strict rules on how they offer places and can’t take things like this into account.

Private, yes possibly the annoying parents with the extra child might get noted, but still unlikely.

I can see that you have three options, take him with you, one parent goes and the other stays with the younger child, or if possible book your youngest into after school club.

Why would it matter if it was noticed?

I mean, noticed and told you couldn't bring them in as one thing but are you suggesting they would hold it against the child long term?

You need to get a sitter or one of you stays home.

If it were me I'd just go with my DC and feedback to DH how the school was.

In fact that is what I did when visiting my DCs' Non-Selective Comprehesive School.

I wouldn’t ordinarily engage with this kind of pure fiction but for the benefit of anyone else reading, this is untrue.

I’ve worked on admissions teams in selective schools. I’m not making it up!

If you had 3 tickets for a concert, would you assume 4 could get in?

At this early stage in your relationship with the school, I feel it would be unwise to self-identify as That Parent.......after all, the school is, as you say, highly selective, so taking their pick.
A cautionary tale from many decades ago. A girl in my class, as clever if not cleverer than me, was going for the most sought-after grammar school locally, (back in the day when little Londoners still sat the 11+). She was quite a mousy little thing, probably because her DM was, er, strong minded. It was one of the "baby bulge" years, and the headmaster advised my parents that the competition would be particularly tough numbers wise, recommending a slightly less prestigious grammar school, which worked out well for me.
My classmate's DM forged ahead regardless, and then insisted on sitting in on her daughter's interview with a member of staff, which was apparently part of the school's admission policy. Having thus thoroughly drawn attention to herself, she was livid when other girls gained places while her daughter didn't, to the extent of berating some other parents. I don't know where she ended up going.

It doesn't work like this any more (if it ever did). State schools have very particular rules to follow (even grammars) and could not possibly use "brought an extra child to an open evening" as a reason to exclude.

I can also support @Macaroni46 's assertion. At the last school where I taught, we had an activity morning for prospective pupils, and they were observed as they participated in a Games session, an IT session, an Art session and a Music session.
As you can imagine, these are parts of a normal school day where youngsters show up in their true colours, and if you are choosing between two children, their reaction to slightly more freedom can be telling....

Was this a state grammar?

In this case, no, it was an independent, but however many rules there are for a state grammar, all the people doing the selection have to do is state, truthfully, that they have filled all available places.

3 tickets
3 people
obviously DON'T