To take an extra sibling if not allowed? Super Selective Grammar School visit.

[NameChanger206]

DS is in year 5, currently preparing for 11 plus for grammar schools in Sutton. One of the schools has a ticketed visit early next week. both of us and DS1 want to see the school (if he gets offered a place it will be very difficult for us to decide having not all seen it) however we have no one to watch our younger DS (yr 2). It says 3 tickets per family, but I’m wondering if IWBU to bring DS2 as we are not sure how to handle it otherwise

2 year olds are noisy and disruptive. If it's late in the day they will be ready for bed. Don't even think about taking the 2 year old. Ask at your local nursery for babysitters.

I don’t think you should bring an extra child without asking first, particularly in this scenario. My husband and I are immigrants so have never had childcare options. We have split up everything like this - can talk through and figure it out together, but it’s only ever been one of us at parents night or hospital stays or anything else that’s come up as we have two children so someone has to be with the other one. So if the school says no and you have no options then have whichever parent skips it make a list of things they’d ask or look for for the one who goes. (It’s usually me for school things and my husband for medical things to keep some consistency)

Oh I missed that the child was 2! Yes , find a babysitter

I always ask myself - what would happen if everyone did this? And you have your answer. Follow the rules, they are there for a reason. It will make your DS1 feel more special too.

I would just send one adult. I know you both want to look but younger children at these sorts of evenings can become restless. Unfortunately, many families don’t have babysitters so you have to trust one another’s judgement. If he gets offered a place, you could definitely then request a second visit before making the final decision. Alternatively call them and ask if there’s a second open evening and each visit separately.

He’s year 2 not 2 years old so about 7. So will take up a whole seat. What if everyone did that? .

It’s extremely rude you’ve been told how it works why would the rules not apply to you? Also definitely don’t ring them up about it!

If DS is yr 2, presumably he's 6 or 7 ( can nobody read?) . Next week will be really hot. In my experience, Grammar school tours are hectic and too hot anyway. Very much not fun for a younger child. Find a way for someone to look after him.

Yr 2 is about 7 years old.

😂😂😂 try it all you'll achieve is ruining your son's chances at the school

How are mumsnet supposed to advise on this? You need to ring the school and check.

The child is yr 2 - 6 or 7.

Don’t ring the sodding school! You will
out yourself as a pain in the neck and they will say no anyway why wouldn’t they? You need them more than they need you.

I think OP is trying to gauge how unMumsnetty having the brass neck to rock up with an extra person is. 🙄😂

To be fair we often have no childcare support and it is usually just one of us for things like parents evenings, hospital stays and medical stuff. But it was just this time where we feel both of us should be there.

sorry see you’ve replied.

If DS is yr 2, presumably he's 6 or 7 ( can nobody read?) ❤️

The school say 3 tickets. Your youngest doesn't have a ticket.

This isn't an arbitrary number they've plucked from thin air. It will have been discussed and decided upon probably years ago. It's to limit numbers to the prospective child and a max of 2 adults to make the event meaningful and manageable.

Don't take your youngest.

I think it’s really rude to ignore things like this.
I don’t understand why you both have to go ?
Surely you can decide after discussion and if he’s only year 5 there will be another event before he goes.

Ideally, yes. But if you can't both go then you cant both go.

It's that simple.

Call and ask if you want - they may make a concession but don't just turn up with them both.

Call and ask. If they say no, one of you will have to stay home.

It’s fire safety - just take him and have one wait outside and swap over. Open days go on for hours you’ll have time.

They have tickets for a reason

Don’t you have a single friend / neighbour/ network and have never used a babysitter?

Your request would be U.

‘We have no childcare support’ : you have the option to pay a sitter.

Or just one of you goes with DS1.

This is exactly why it’s ticketed, to stop people treating it like a family day out!

7yo will be bored and tired and take your attention away.
Ask another parent to mind him for a non sleep over.