To take an extra sibling if not allowed? Super Selective Grammar School visit.

[NameChanger206]

DS is in year 5, currently preparing for 11 plus for grammar schools in Sutton. One of the schools has a ticketed visit early next week. both of us and DS1 want to see the school (if he gets offered a place it will be very difficult for us to decide having not all seen it) however we have no one to watch our younger DS (yr 2). It says 3 tickets per family, but I’m wondering if IWBU to bring DS2 as we are not sure how to handle it otherwise

Easy, just one parent goes. Why don’t both need to visit? Surely you trust each other. Exh didn’t visit any schools, he trusted me

I really really hope what you are saying here is not true.

It would be truly appalling if grammar schools were flouting the rules and not selecting on ability (and other published criteria).

If they were to do this (and I have no idea if they would or not), it would be more the parents have marked themselves out as difficult and a family who aren't necessarily going to abide by school rules or parents who assume that the rules don't apply to them or their child if they don't want them too.

In terms of first impressions, it wouldn't be a good one.

Ultimately, it's up to the OP if she follows the rules (or suggestions to call) or not but IME, schools that don't uphold their own rules in one area tend to be a bit 'flexible' in others too and not necessarily in the way parents would want.

How about asking at your wrap around care, if any of their staff do babysitting, @NameChanger206?

It is very likely that multiple children will get the same test score. At that point some other factor does come into play. Perhaps it will be completely randomized or perhaps knowing that one set of parents is unlikely to follow school rules will make the difference.

One of you needs to stay home.

That is correct. But if two or more children get the same score then the one with the tricky parent might well be the one who isn’t given the place.
It’s not rocket science: just follow the rules!

Oh what a lot of hand wringing. I’d just get on with it and make sure the younger kid sits on your lap for the talk

Yes you are being unreasonable. Do you know anyone else who is going who doesn’t need all 3 tickets?

I would go but be prepared if they say no. Some people will not turn up on the day

This
open evenings with mum, dad, siblings and sometimes grandparents too are utterly ridiculous
are people not capable of making a decision on their own?

Organise a playdate or ask a friend to babysit?

Distance is the tiebreaker for those with the same test score

And in the very unlikely event that this does not break the tie, there is an independently supervised ballot. It is explicitly stated in the admissions policy: www.wilsons.school/admissions-criteria/

An anecdote from an independent school is irrelevant here. State schools have to follow the statutory School Admissions Code.

We have the same with Nonsuch in early July, although we have managed to sort childcare. It's frustrating, but I understand they can let more families in by limiting it to 3 per family. What is more annoying for me is that the Nonsuch open 'evening' is actually in the afternoon, with the last slot being 5:15pm, so we both have had to take an afternoon off work. I'm tempted to scrap applying there, which is sort of the point. They are so oversubscribed they don't really care if some people struggle to attend.

Meanwhile in teletubbtland people are getting ready for another really hard week ffs who cares

You’re clearly making arguments against every suggestion, so I’m assuming you all just want to go as a family day out.

the fact you’re asking here, instead of ringing the school and asking them shows you don’t want the actual answer, which is of course not to bring your other child.

Year 2 then.

I know that’s the thing. They aren’t trying to sell places and next week is the only chance to see the school. If he does pass the tests and gets offered the chance then they aren’t going to let us go for a tour later while deciding whether to put it as top choice. It’s a very different school to the local state so a big decision if it will be right for DS.

any way we’ve decided that just DH and DS will go, and then me and DS2 will wait outside (unless of course they let us in if we ask nicely).

Ring and ask nicely before you go.
Please done embarrass your son before he possibly starts.
Another child may witness the incident and get in. Kids can be cruel with this sort of thing.

Honestly Wilsons is one of the most oversubscribed schools. There will be 100s, potentially 1000+ people interested in the school. No-one is going to say in year 7 'oh, over a year ago I saw your mum at the open evening politely ask if they could bring your younger brother too' and start picking on them.

This.

Won't your younger son be at school anyway?
Or did I miss something there ?

What if every family took an extra child with them ?
Not fair on people trying to concentrate , find out about the school.

One of you go and the other go to the next one? DH and I always have to divide and conquer as our youngest is profoundly disabled and we have no childcare. We just work around it.

Ok I think we all agree you can't take 4 people.
So one of you go with your son
Other parent stays home with younger child.
Presumably your son is going to sit the entrance exam (even if this isn't your first choice school) to keep your options open if nothing else.

When/if he gets offered a space the other parent(s) can go and take another look.

Sorted. You're welcome.
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