I need the most annoying toy for a 5 year old

[IrritatingToy]

My sister and I are in a war of annoying toys, she bought my 3 year old a set of mini bagpipes.. I need the most annoying but equally awesome for the child at 5 years old. I want something that she’s going to despise and he’s going to love. Budget about £100. I’m not unreasonable but she was to buy mine bloody bagpipes!!

Bagpipes is INSPIRED

Toy Lawn Mower by Husqvarna (starts loud mowing noise when pushed along)
nephews loved it and stopped around for years.

Not long after I bought them the matching leaf blower for them too… I still chuckle about those 😆

https://www.sam-turner.co.uk/products/husqvarna-toy-lawn-mower?variant=31997906288779&fo_c=606&fo_k=a9a7f60ee0d03bea892db9a8a8ed5f4a&fo_s=gplauk&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=pmax_prio1_mach&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23195695353&gbraid=0AAAAAD6fhhOwd6WXHXggqO0rqWpKZgPSv&gclid=CjwKCAjwuanRBhBSEiwAY5y6V2gyIWcuyeRo9-o9PnUqdSxSyoDwzQGHpHa7KwuKRuMEzz1YGD6hkxoCXT4QAvD_BwE

Beads. Billions and billions and billions of beads.

Haven't seen any previous posts about them.
I give you - "Clackers".
70's toy. Can still be purchased on E.bay.

I second this!! The most fun I’ve had in about 62856 years- I of course made the kids collect every bullet so I could check it worked for the 4th time whilst they cowered in the corner 😱

Kinetic sand. And a harmonica

Stylophone. It’s an electronic organ that you play with a pen stylus.
My late dad was a PR consultant when these first came out in the 70s and handled the publicity for the manufacturer.
I still remember him borrowing one for us kids to try and the unholy racket we made!!! 😂

https://www.gear4music.com/Keyboards-and-Pianos/Dubreq-Stylophone-GEN-X-2/7EOY?origin=product-ads&msclkid=d80ae1283e6f1dd842988b0320317cf3&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=UK%20-%20PMAX%20-%20Branded%20Products%20-%20All%20Categories%20-%20Group%20A,%20B%20(Low)&utm_term=2332545199425023&utm_content=Brand%20B1

A gift voucher to Hamley's, but don't give it to him until the day before Christmas Eve.

Don’t spend that much, just get them a recorder!

Mouth organ, recorder, drum kit, boppit and for the garden swing ball, Cricket set.

I would a hamper of annoying gifts …as for the bagpipes 🤣

A recorder and recorder lessons!

You can get drum kits for small children with a wide range of prices.

A violin- see if you can get one on vinted. I am sure he will love squeaking the bow.....
With a whole host of musical small toys- train whistle, penny whistle, flute, fife, piccolo, recorder etc....
Or a set of cymbals.....

My friend, whose top floor neighbour's young son has a proper drum set would tell you it's drums all the way.

My DD received Hama Beads we reciprocated with a bacteria growing set for her cousin.

A line was drawn and gifts are now consulted on.

My dad got a drum for Christmas when he was small. It disappeared mysteriously after half an hour and was never seen again.

None of my children have touched Boppit for a decade. Must be at the back of a cupboard somewhere though, because every few months it randomly shouts 'Boppit' in the night.

My daughter also had a teapot that shouted 'Now let's have a tea party!' in a broad accent (maybe Hull?)...from the loft! Thankfully that one has shut up now.

Anything along those lines would make a fantastic gift!!

If you want to stick with musical instruments, why not a nice metal xylophone with a stout beater?

I'm planning on buying my niblings a karaoke machine without volume control. I've seen one on Amazon.

I've previously bought them a toy spider that reacts to any loud noise, so they ended up with 3 kids walking around loudly clapping and shouting at random.

My kids were sent a kiddie drum kit 😏

A microphone that distorts his voice. You can get ones that also play music to sing along to.

Duck rollercoaster

This and the noise of it will drive anyone around the bend.

Oooh my toddler has a hey duggee toy landline type phone with no off switch

Its currently in the boot. for ever

One of those mini speakers that comes with microphones with voice changers on.

Nothing more grating than a kid with a microphone screaming for hours in chipmunk mode.

Oh my god, bagpipes are DEMONIC.

When my sister was small, my grandmother bought her this absolutely appalling train that played records as it chugged around. My mum was absolutely convinced it was just to drive her mad and if you watch the advert you'll understand why.

When I was doing my PhD, I would leave wrapped gifts at the door of every child on Christmas eve as many student parents couldn't afford much during the holidays. My husband inexplicably found this hilarious and always wanted to know what went where so he could 'track results.'

One child in an upstairs apartment got given a dance mat.

I gifted one family with five children a pottery wheel with a selection of clay options and a book where you check off every creation you make (totalling about 150).

I got one energetic young boy a baseball bat, a ball and a thing to hit if off so he could practice in the car park.

A remote control furry hamster that sung in a high pitched voice as it drove around, provided with a big pack of batteries (nothing worse than having no batteries when you get a brand new toy)

A bezazzling kit with lots of extra glue so they could make everything sparkly.

A prank kit that I didn't check the contents properly of and it included 'buck urine' which stinks. You could DIY this if not available in your area.

Toy chainsaw for a child whose dad was doing a PhD in something to do with firebreaks/forest management. It was louder than I anticipated.

Tamagotchis the first year they came 'back'

I wish he'd told me I was creating enormous upset, but I did enjoy being the mystery Father Christmas for four years.

Oh god yes. My dad got one for my DC, even he was stunned at how annoying it was.

I think you need to badge this up as a subscription for your niece/neohew. Auntie will post you a new (annoying) toy every month! So fun to get post as a kid and reeeealllly gives you the ability to drag it out