Help end medical misogyny. Sign our petition.

Help end medical misogyny.
Sign our petition.

Sign the petition

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I need the most annoying toy for a 5 year old

263 replies

IrritatingToy · 11/06/2026 17:56

My sister and I are in a war of annoying toys, she bought my 3 year old a set of mini bagpipes.. I need the most annoying but equally awesome for the child at 5 years old. I want something that she’s going to despise and he’s going to love. Budget about £100. I’m not unreasonable but she was to buy mine bloody bagpipes!!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
ProfessorBinturong · 14/06/2026 22:08

Were all those from the same person? And if so, what in earth had you done to offend them?!

user1492757084 · 15/06/2026 05:09

Electric drum with pom pom stick and highland band boots.

Byron1990 · 15/06/2026 07:44

@franksmama omg my dad bought this for two of the grandchildren on Christmas Day. Two of them simultaneously flashing and that song playing made for quite the Christmas lunch

PlumpHobbit · 15/06/2026 20:16

I only have a one year old but ive rapidly discovered i hate:

Over excitable voiced toys usually sounding like an American child

Repetitive loud songs

High pitched sounds effects

Hateful annoying songs that get stuck in your head even though you hate them and stay there

A perfect combination of these is Toot Toot. We have the firestation

"Im a Toot toot fire engine look at me go"
"Fighting fires is my job"

Die. Fortunately theres an off switch. I dread when he finds that and removes it from the off setting...

Also annoying:

A toy mobile phone from the in laws. Annoying sounds and i dont want to replicate playing with a mobile phone

A leapfrog book. I used to think this was acceptable until he button mashed it a few times so we had an amalgamation of animal noises on repeat

One of those old fashioned things where they press it and the characters go round inside like on a roundabout. "Clunk clunk clunk creeeaakkk" drives me demented.

This farting monkey that looked like it was possessed. You'd press its hand, it would then fart and jerk around with a gleeful cackle. It was sent on its way on vinted, as I got chucky/anabelle vibes. Creepy silver eyes too. Both of the above were in law specials.

When we were looking for birthday presents for said 1 year old husband kept eyeing up a baby xylophone. I refused to allow it 😂

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 16/06/2026 09:52

PlumpHobbit · 15/06/2026 20:16

I only have a one year old but ive rapidly discovered i hate:

Over excitable voiced toys usually sounding like an American child

Repetitive loud songs

High pitched sounds effects

Hateful annoying songs that get stuck in your head even though you hate them and stay there

A perfect combination of these is Toot Toot. We have the firestation

"Im a Toot toot fire engine look at me go"
"Fighting fires is my job"

Die. Fortunately theres an off switch. I dread when he finds that and removes it from the off setting...

Also annoying:

A toy mobile phone from the in laws. Annoying sounds and i dont want to replicate playing with a mobile phone

A leapfrog book. I used to think this was acceptable until he button mashed it a few times so we had an amalgamation of animal noises on repeat

One of those old fashioned things where they press it and the characters go round inside like on a roundabout. "Clunk clunk clunk creeeaakkk" drives me demented.

This farting monkey that looked like it was possessed. You'd press its hand, it would then fart and jerk around with a gleeful cackle. It was sent on its way on vinted, as I got chucky/anabelle vibes. Creepy silver eyes too. Both of the above were in law specials.

When we were looking for birthday presents for said 1 year old husband kept eyeing up a baby xylophone. I refused to allow it 😂

My mum’s neighbours regifted her annoying DCs toys to my mum for her grandchildren. So:-

ice cream cart which sings and talks. The ice cream bits like toppings, ice cream, cornets get lost easily.
Farm barn with different separate animal noises (chicken, pig).
keyboard with microphone and noises like meow/club music heavy bass lines.
fire station with sirens (loud and flashing)

These seem tame to sons of the other options.

I bought the toddler when a baby, a rolling moving noises ball toy. Eg animals, colours. It’s not that bad! Lives at my mum’s house as I gave it to him there.

Mum offered to give these to my DB and his wife and their kids and they declined the kind gifts. So they live at my mum’s house. The kids love them all though. Any signs of giving toys away is greeted with “no, we still play with it/love it”.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 16/06/2026 09:55

PlumpHobbit · 15/06/2026 20:16

I only have a one year old but ive rapidly discovered i hate:

Over excitable voiced toys usually sounding like an American child

Repetitive loud songs

High pitched sounds effects

Hateful annoying songs that get stuck in your head even though you hate them and stay there

A perfect combination of these is Toot Toot. We have the firestation

"Im a Toot toot fire engine look at me go"
"Fighting fires is my job"

Die. Fortunately theres an off switch. I dread when he finds that and removes it from the off setting...

Also annoying:

A toy mobile phone from the in laws. Annoying sounds and i dont want to replicate playing with a mobile phone

A leapfrog book. I used to think this was acceptable until he button mashed it a few times so we had an amalgamation of animal noises on repeat

One of those old fashioned things where they press it and the characters go round inside like on a roundabout. "Clunk clunk clunk creeeaakkk" drives me demented.

This farting monkey that looked like it was possessed. You'd press its hand, it would then fart and jerk around with a gleeful cackle. It was sent on its way on vinted, as I got chucky/anabelle vibes. Creepy silver eyes too. Both of the above were in law specials.

When we were looking for birthday presents for said 1 year old husband kept eyeing up a baby xylophone. I refused to allow it 😂

Is this the monkey?!

I need the most annoying toy for a 5 year old
PlumpHobbit · 16/06/2026 10:17

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 16/06/2026 09:55

Is this the monkey?!

Not quite as the eyes arent silver but it looks VERY similar as does the movement so effectively is the monkey, minus the horrible glittery silver eyes

It was snapped up on Vinted, maybe as exorcism practice? 😂

123becauseicouldntthinkofone · 16/06/2026 10:19

Do they have a dog as you could also treat that to a goggle ball....ultra annoying. i know from experience :)

tartyflette · 16/06/2026 10:27

I was quite irritated with a ‘friend’ who bought six year old DS a pair of boxing gloves…

Floofle · 16/06/2026 11:10

Soubriquet · 11/06/2026 18:12

I’m still traumatised by this fucking bear my dd had a baby and she’s 13!!!

I can still hear the song

“I’m a friendly light up bear
ill teach you
one two three
a sleepy hungry happy bear
hey come and hug me”

Oh my God we had that bear, I'd blocked it out forgotten!
DH binned it eventually 😅

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 16/06/2026 17:55

PlumpHobbit · 16/06/2026 10:17

Not quite as the eyes arent silver but it looks VERY similar as does the movement so effectively is the monkey, minus the horrible glittery silver eyes

It was snapped up on Vinted, maybe as exorcism practice? 😂

Howling here! Exorcism practice 🤣

Womanofcustard · 16/06/2026 18:04

An echo mike. Like a pink megaphone.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page