I need the most annoying toy for a 5 year old

[IrritatingToy]

My sister and I are in a war of annoying toys, she bought my 3 year old a set of mini bagpipes.. I need the most annoying but equally awesome for the child at 5 years old. I want something that she’s going to despise and he’s going to love. Budget about £100. I’m not unreasonable but she was to buy mine bloody bagpipes!!

AND a nice bottle of whisky for the parent/s.
The pain will not be simply external.

A drum kit.

Nice and cheap but it’s actually a dog toy, a pig that makes the most awful loud squeak. Really annoying . Pets at home!

Oh my goodness mine had this too!! I'd repressed all memories of that bear but nope. Back in my head now 😂 definitely a good option to drive anyone insane

Also have to say mini bagpipes are just genius! Definitely think glitter/ slime are the right level of annoying (and fun for the child)

And fill it with glitter.

She'll be finding it for years.

Joke, prank set. Fake poo, fart machine, invisible ink etc. Spy security set where the child can set up movement alarms.

Ok, I have a new one.

https://www.thelittleislaco.com/products/monthly-sparkle-subscription-box?srsltid=AfmBOopXoMsJM5cTuwOKuIO6ksQVNUyQjIPxAjLz3oCfBce6j_Bes-5y

This is a glitter subscription box so the glitter keeps on arriving every month 😂

Slime making laboratory. You can make glitter slime. Throw in a recorder and she'll be a nervous wreck by bedtime.

Or just give a card and fill it with glitter. Or a potters wheel, lots of messy wet clay.

a vuvuzela! My friend got confused once and called it a gorgonzola

www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/toys/pre-school-and-electronic-learning/other-preschool/big-steps-waddles-the-waddle-duck-push-along-toy/p/218812

Dd was given a vtech bath toy duck with a Jamaican accent that randomly sang at odd hours of the night. I binned it after 2 days.

Mini bagpipes has cracked me up 😂

My DS got given a pack of ping pong balls from my in laws and omfg. They make the most annoying sound and richote everywhere around the house!

I bought my niece a recorder with a "how to play Frozen music" book when she was about the same age. My sister still hasn't forgiven me 🤣

Someone bought my daughter this toy accordion for her third birthday. It’s still in our toy cupboard I think (she’s now twelve).

https://amzn.eu/d/06WH3UGY

FIL bought this for DS. Repeats everything you say to it in an annoying squeaky monkey voice like it is mocking you. Absolutely infuriating.

www.amazon.co.uk/Premier-Life-Talking-Monkey-Repeats/dp/B0D3HTKDBM

VTECH again. I so hope they have a social media watch out. Next thing we will see is a Mumsnet link up!!

DC one of these. I would hang it on the door handle and press the buttons to play the tunes whilst doing things in the kitchen. Kept DC amused while I got things done.

A cousin got my DC and toddler electric guitar. I thought about returning the favour with a toddler drum kit, but ended up getting something else.

I once bought my Neices toy drums and a guitar with amplifier to piss my DB and SIL off 🤣 I recently bought their toddler DGD a harmonica 😂 They have never been able to get me back as noisy toys never bothered me, now bunchems they are one toy I don’t want in my house.

Love this!

massive teddy.. my brother in law got one from smyths it’s literally the size of a single bed.. DS loves it, I hate it!!

Something that takes parental oversight to set up?

Mousetrap.

Something just plain annoying?

Indoor trampoline.

Something that takes up tons of space?

The biggest soft toy you can get, wearing a t shirt with DNs name on it. All kids love personalised shit.

A fart ninja, but they only cost £6, so… 16 fart ninjas is my vote.

Slime set . She’ll never relax around soft furnishings until every bit is used up

DC had a clock that chimed animal noises on the hour. That was annoying. It was quite loud and I'd get the fright of my life when it went off. Eventually I took it off the wall and disabled the sound.

Minions fart blaster. They genuinely smell horrific but my kids love them. I can’t even complain as I bought them for them for Christmas 😂