I need the most annoying toy for a 5 year old

[IrritatingToy]

My sister and I are in a war of annoying toys, she bought my 3 year old a set of mini bagpipes.. I need the most annoying but equally awesome for the child at 5 years old. I want something that she’s going to despise and he’s going to love. Budget about £100. I’m not unreasonable but she was to buy mine bloody bagpipes!!

You could just give them 2 litres of coke and a pack of mentos?

Or a remote controlled fart machine.

My DS has the most annoying whistling crab toy. It whizzes around on the floor with flashing disco lights, whistling something that sounds a bit like The Lonely Goatherd. The tune repeats about every ten seconds 😵‍💫

It’ll set you back £10 on Amazon or I’ll post you the fucking thing for free

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNRcMQJp5/

Here it is in action! This is the snail version, but the crab is exactly the same, only worse because the pincers fall off 🫩

Lots of whoopee cushions.

A tonie box which only plays recordings of your child on the bagpipes.

Hahaha! Actually laughed out loud at that one.

I love this thread

Surely a drum set is the way to go?! With a recorder if you have any spare change

I agree that the VTech website should give you a few great ideas

Those shoes that light up and make a make a squeaking sound with every step they take. A child had them on in the British museum the other day. Great fun! And no risk of losing him.

Sorry it's nowhere near your £100 budget but the most irritating child toy I have encountered was a Transformer Pteranadon that transformed into I think a helicopter or similar. The awful thing was that it had no off-switch and the batteries weren't user-accessible, and it was activated by the slightest movement near it, and would also randomly attract attention when you haven't played with it for a while, with a cycle of "fun" phrases and roars, it was so awful, unbearable to hear, but DS loved it. Middle of the night, checking if DS was asleep, it would detect me and yell "I'm Pteranodon! Let's PLAY!". Eventually its batteries ran out and then it was silent and that was OK. The item that comes up if you google for it now doesn't look the same, and does appear to have an off-switch, so sadly won't be nearly so irritating.

My nephew has a nerf gun that's an automatic machine gun with a magazine of hundreds of foam bullets. He's been around my house with it, the kids LOVE it, but the bullets get bloody everwhere and they have to all be collected and loaded back in the magazine... and it does sort of condone violence. It's not a realistic gun by any means, it's not in the glorifying war territory, but it's adversarial and whips the kids up into a frenzy.

A karaoke machine

Drum kit and a recorder 🪈 😁😁

The Gotta Go Turdle rates pretty high on the annoying scale, especially when you point out to the child that it will repeat what you say back to you in a really irritating voice (and the sand gets everywhere!).

www.amazon.co.uk/Little-Live-Pets-Interactive-Multicolor/dp/B0BZP3M9KH

That dreadful Bop It! toy. Ended up in the bin after 24 hours of the DC torturing us with it.

£100 is ridiculous to buy your niece or nephew a gift you aren’t even interested in them liking.

Drum kit.

Fart gun, mini electric guitar that plays prerecorded things.
fart ninja… like 10 of them so they can hide loads round the house

Kinetic sand. I hated the stuff when DD was little

Omg same!!! 🤣 🤣

Hahaha this sounds perfect

Thanks @Soubriquet …. Now got the earworm, although you have taught me the words.. always thought was “Alfie tunes, 123” thought the bears name was Alfie Tunes! 😝

Voice controlled crawling spider, it only moves when the kid speaks to it.

Keyboard with microphone and preferably with recorded sounds like strong bass club music, my mum has one for her grandchildren and it’s never going to the kids house!

I would say get a snake or whatever pet parent is scared of. But that’s going a bit too far, is cruel and isn’t fair on the snake or other animals. You can always taunt the child with “what would you like for your birthday? Would you like me to buy you a snake next birthday?” Preferably in front of the parents.

Definitely.

You win. Must’ve been complaints to get the on off switch installed/fixed and so on.