First meal out with son’s wife’s parents and they let us pick up the whole bill.

[50sandFabulous]

What would you make of this? Son got married recently. Obviously, we have met his parents. However, we have never been out with them before.

The other day we met for lunch, there were six of us there in total. I had said to my husband that we should pay for the whole thing just as a nice gesture.

We went up to the bar at some point and paid for the whole tab. No one knew that we had done this.

When it was time to leave, everybody just left the restaurant and absolutely nobody queried about the bill. Is this not a bit mad?

So basically, we have paid for everybody (which we were always going to do), but there has been no acknowledgement from anybody about the fact that the bill has been paid and absolutely no thank you. I just find this really really weird!

I was expecting somebody to say, oh we need to get the bill, and then I would have said don’t worry it’s covered, but that did not happen!

This thread is quite revealing re those who are only happy to make kind/ generous gestures as long as they receive acknowledgement and thank yous in return.

It was very ill mannered of them not to say thank you.

Dh so often picks up the tab - and TBH I do get a bit annoyed when people just seem to take it for granted and don’t offer to split - but they do at least always say thank you.

I definitely like to receive a thank you if I pay for a meal out - count me in that group

This is what I would assume as well. They said thankyou via the OP's son, as he was the one who told them his parents were paying. In all her updates she hasn't said whether she's actually talked to her son about this incident yet.

I have no idea why the OP and her husband didn't just SAY they were paying. Surely if the whole charade of no-you-mustn't-oh-go-on-then is that important then you have to get the ball rolling by actually communicating? Paying then keeping schtum is bizarre behaviour.

And me. I was brought up to have manners and say please and thank you. Strangely so was everyone else I know.

Also, there's the possibility that if the OP was as insufferable as this in real life, the in-laws may have just wanted to stop being around her as soon as humanly possible.

What are they like to talk to, OP? In guessing socially awkward.

So you were trying to attract the attention of the staff to pay but couldn’t, at which point your husband went to the bar to pay. Surely they noticed that, there were only 6 of you. I bet your son said you’d get the bill, he’s very rude not mentioning it either.

I hope you're feeling deeply ashamed of yourself OP for your OUTRAGEOUS sneaky behaviour 🤣🤣🤡

Just a thought.. they live far away, you say. Were they unusually on your territory and you issued the invite? Is it possible they thought you were hosting at a restaurant instead of inviting them to dinner at your home?

either way, not saying Thankyou is incredibly bad manners.

I’m not finding op the insufferable one here.

Using a sneery "LEFT" as an insult is pretty insufferable.

If people want to pay thats generous but they need to say that they're paying.

OP, because of previous form, there is every chance your son or DIL said "oh his parents will pay, they always do"!

Whatever the case, it's appallingly rude and your son is right in there too.

They ‘ need to’ , do they? Is this a law that’s been passed? I’ve never heard of it.

Is that because you weren’t on the thread last night when you was calling people names? She was incredibly rude herself very late at night.

Ha ha, it’s very usual, and the LEFT have brought it on themselves by being asinine and clamorously so.

I think this is spot on, given your thread title.

My guess is your DS told them beforehand you’d be paying. You should contact him and ask if this is the case but I bet it is. I think he invited them, said you’d cover the bill and they thanked him for the generosity. They should also have thanked you in person of course but perhaps slipped their minds and they knew they’d already thanked your DS in advance. Maybe even (who knows) they told your DS to thank you on their behalf when he told them and he hasn’t passed it on. I’m assuming they’re not as wealthy as you hence not contributing to the wedding either.

The other parents are probably sick of you trying to show how well off you are by jumping in and paying for stuff.

They don't want to make a scene for their sons sake, but I would find it incredibly insulting and domineering, hence the lack of grovelling thanks that you were after.

You need to think of your motives behind you paying the bill without informing them.

Also in that group.

Are you in the group happy to make kind gestures and have them ignored, or the group receiving kind gestures and not saying thanks?

Why assume the in laws are grumpy and chippy? They might be perfectly aimiable.

Glad my social circle isn't as rude and insufferable as you.

Ha ha. Happy for you 💜 I’m truly dire!

So it's unreasonable now to expect that people might thank you for a generous gesture?

This thread is still doing peak MN madness!