First meal out with son’s wife’s parents and they let us pick up the whole bill.

[50sandFabulous]

What would you make of this? Son got married recently. Obviously, we have met his parents. However, we have never been out with them before.

The other day we met for lunch, there were six of us there in total. I had said to my husband that we should pay for the whole thing just as a nice gesture.

We went up to the bar at some point and paid for the whole tab. No one knew that we had done this.

When it was time to leave, everybody just left the restaurant and absolutely nobody queried about the bill. Is this not a bit mad?

So basically, we have paid for everybody (which we were always going to do), but there has been no acknowledgement from anybody about the fact that the bill has been paid and absolutely no thank you. I just find this really really weird!

I was expecting somebody to say, oh we need to get the bill, and then I would have said don’t worry it’s covered, but that did not happen!

I think that's totally odd. I wouldn't be inviting them out again - you might find they're cheeky fuckers, or worse - tip thieves!

I did this with a friend who is always appreciative of things but who said not on one occasion… I am now wondering if she also picked up the tab and the restaurant didn’t notice/query it

That is hilarious 😆

Your son and daughter in law didn’t say anything either, it’s so rude.

It’s really rude for them not to say thanks. Did your son not even say thanks?

Yes I think it's interesting that your post is about the other parents when your own son didn't thank you either, and presumably you took some responsibility for raising him to have manners.

Have you spoken to him about it?

It's very bad manners not to thank the person who paid for your meal.
There really are no excuses.

Paying for the whole groups food can actually make people feel very uncomfortable. I've been out for a meal before and my sisters FIL has paid the whole bill without saying anything. We obviously thanked him but I know it made my parents feel uncomfortable as they would then possibly be expected to pick up the next bill but they aren't as wealthy as the FIL.

It sounds like you were being flashy and wanted a moment of appreciation. No one expected or asked for you to pay for them though. They should have thanked you though. Raise it with your son?

No actually, no one said thanks! With son and DIL we always pay. They do usually say thanks. It’s the weirdness of the parents here that I find odd - we are the same age so it feels different to when we treat the kids!!

We've definitely done this where we've had a few drinks and I panicked hours later that we dined and dashed only to discover someone had paid. I also know someone who often picks up the bill and it pisses people off. I also know my dad has done this a few times, a sneaky trip to the bar and it drives my dh and dfil nuts, nearly takes the good out of it for them, but they still thank him.

Idk, I’ve definitely been so into the conversation that I’ve forgotten to ask for the bill and am halfway out the restaurant before it clicks

They’re rude, they should have said oh let’s get the bill and you’d have said we’ve taken care of it then they’d have said can we contribute and you'd have waved it away and then they should have said thank you. YANBU, they are rude.

You dash off and don’t pay for what you’ve eaten and drank? Are you being serious right now? And if someone else pays for you, it pisses you off? Are you them?

You would certainly say many thank yous and follow with a thank you telephone call or a thank you card in the post.

They sound incredibly rude tbh

Oh god, this could be my parents, they’re excruciating! They just seem to think other people like paying for their dinner, and my in laws are too generous and polite not to. Once I did suggest they ought to offer to pay and they looked at me like I was mad.

Posts like this make me realise that they walk amongst us.

Wow! Who leaves a restaurant without even thinking of paying? Let alone be annoyed that someone else has paid for them!

Did they cover the cost of the wedding?
Did you invite them out?

This is fucking crazy to me!!

I'm very surprised at the lack of thank yous.

Oh it's definitely a power move for some people isn't it?

I really dislike the sneaky pay. I'm a grown up and I want to be able to have a grown up conversation about how my food is going to be paid for. -If you want to pay for me that badly you should offer, and give me the chance to accept or decline. I don't like the feeling of coming away from the meal like a cheapskate, and with the obligation to repay the favour hanging over my head.

I'd still thank you of course, but it would be a hollow gesture.

I know!!!!!

did you invite them and choose the restaurant? If so then you pay.

This view really polarises opinion, there’s another thread running about similar matters

What the fuck?