AIBU for pulling into a private drive after my car failed?

[1hatchling1fledgling]

WWYD? AIBU. In a big traffic jam on an urban dual carriageway for ages. Suddenly my entire dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree, lose power steering, brakes etc. hazards on and get my car somehow into the left hand lane and then into the huge drive of a large house. Knock and explain. Call RAC who have arrived when the husband gets home. I instantly apologise and he says “yes my wife told me that you had abandoned your car in my drive” (I’d waited in the car). “Get it moved now”. So should I have (a) blocked one lane of the road in a heatwave, (b) blocked the pavement and cycleway or (c) done what I did. Fault transpired to be alternator malfunction at low speeds. I was quite upset, but the professional and kind RAC operative was brilliant. He needed to follow me home since I had his battery. So I gave him a bottle of lemonade and a couple of ice lollies, as wearing those fluorescents on a hot day he was really suffering with the heat. Note driveway/front garden large enough to accommodate 8 cars comfortably

I've witnessed a crash between a large vehicle and a car stopped in a lane before - as you say, larger vehicles don't have the same stopping time.

Not quite the same situation as OP but shows how risky it can be when there are no alternatives to simply stopping where you are on a moving dual carriageway.

Technically it is as she parked on someone elses drive. Theres been hundreds of threads over the years on here where people have complained about a strange car parked NEAR their homes and always told to get it moved by 'strong men' etc and this person actually did drive onto someones private driveway with her car that was breaking down. Im not sure why it is different to the complaining posts. Anyway totally pointless my commenting further, I wouldnt have been happy anyway but it is all over and done with and it has reminded me to go out and lock my own gates now too.

The Highway Code -

Place of relative safety (rule 275)275
If you need to stop your vehicle in the event of a breakdown or incident, try to stop in a place of relative safety. A place of relative safety is where you, your passengers and your vehicle are less likely to be at risk from moving traffic.
The safest place to stop is a location which is designed for parking…

Breakdowns (276)276
If your vehicle breaks down, think first of all other road users and

• get your vehicle off the road if possible…

I suspect the police would agree that the Op did the best she could in the circumstances.

The highway code tells you to drive onto a hard shoulder, come off a main road if possible, pull into a lay by or failing all that to pull to the left as far as possible and put on your hazards. It does not at any point say to drive onto the pavement.

Most pavements are not wide enough for a car and a wheelchair or double buggy. It is DANGEROUS to block pavements and also totally unfair to push the risks that cars create further onto non drivers.

Where have I mentioned the pavement?

I had someone breakdown across my drive, which meant really awkward parking for me. I gave them water, offered them the loo and and umbrella as it was raining.

He sounds like a arse, on the assumption as it sounds that you weren’t preventing him from accessing his drive. I hope the same thing happens to him sometime, but without anywhere to safely pull in. And that his next shit is a hedgehog.

We have a biggish parking area (3-4 cars worth, we only have one car) straight off a private lane, it’s often used by people needing to pass or turn round, no impact on us, no problem.

I think this is what most people would do. MN is odd.

Then what was the point of your response to a post that was emphasizing that I was talking about the pavement?

Yes, that's a thought. Someone broken down there for any length of time is likely to ask for the loo. Given the 'broken down and need help' scam, I'm not sure I'd let someone into my home to use the loo. That's not the person I want to be, but this is the day and age we are in. I know how awful it would be to be in their position, but my safety comes first.

Did have a man come to my door once on a hot day and ask for a glass of water. I refused to open the door. His language on refusal told me I'd done the right thing.

@suggestionswelcomed I think I just see the world as the sole parent and adult that I have been for a long time. I do not have a big burly husband to tackle someone on my behalf and have always had to be mother, provider, protector so honestly a stranger with a car issue pulling into my personal space that I and I alone have to protect, rightly or wrongly that is what I am doing. I cant afford to take chances. Sad possibly but we all lead different lives.

Equally, I am also the lone parent, provider etc.
If I break down or otherwise need help from someone (ie no partner to call) I may rely on the goodwill of strangers.
In OP situation I would def navigate my car to a drive if I could rather than leave on the dual carriageway. I would knock on the door to explain the situation (because surely just sitting in the car looks more suspicious). I guess if the resident was someone scared to open the door to strangers then they could not answer.
When the RAC arrived hopefully the homeowner would understand it wasn’t a scam and feel less scared.

Half of mumsnet would see a person with a knife in their back knocking on the door, and not answer.

And then moan about the mess on their doorstep.

Thankfully in the real world I think most people would help the OP out and not be a twat about it.

Agreed!! Honestly, it can happen to any of us needing help!

Absolutely @MrsOni

Well exactly! People really do lose sight of what the OP is actually about. OP said at the outset she went and communicated with the homeowner straightaway and that an RAC van then arrived. Yet posters keep talking about the scenario as if it’s just an abandoned car or some other shady situation.

I really do wonder how some people get through the day. Just exercise a bit of common sense and character judgment, and you can normally tell whether a situation is dangerous or not. Especially if I lived on a dual carriageway with no stopping like this, I would have no reason to think this wasn’t a genuine breakdown. And once you accept it’s a genuine breakdown, with a woman on her own, you’d have to be an absolute twat not to let them be on your massive drive.

Note to self: ensure entry gates are always closed on our 8 car drive.

If someone was stopped on the road leading to your drive, causing a huge tailback, would you prefer that?

I'm genuinely interested because people seem to think that it's "park on driveway or magically disappear".

It’s one of the extra commandments

Thou shalt not breakdown and use the mini car park in front of my house (because my humble brag of 8 car facilities may be reduced to only six or seven when RAC turn up).

Thankfully in the real world I think most people would help the OP out and not be a twat about it.
Well you'd hope so, but I had an experience yesterday that dented my faith in humanity somewhat. I saw a young man come off his motorbike in a busy city centre and I was the only person who went to check he was ok. Pedestrians were studiously looking the other way and cars were driving straight past. Fortunately he was fine, but the total lack of concern from other people was shocking. There was an event on so the area was really busy and I cannot possibly have been the only person who noticed! Seems that there are plenty of people in real life that don't give a toss about others. Let's hope for their sakes they never find themselves on the receiving end of such treatment.

From my experience someone always stops to help. I personally don't if I see someone else is already helping as it's a too many cooks situation. You don't want to overwhelm them.