AIBU for pulling into a private drive after my car failed?

[1hatchling1fledgling]

WWYD? AIBU. In a big traffic jam on an urban dual carriageway for ages. Suddenly my entire dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree, lose power steering, brakes etc. hazards on and get my car somehow into the left hand lane and then into the huge drive of a large house. Knock and explain. Call RAC who have arrived when the husband gets home. I instantly apologise and he says “yes my wife told me that you had abandoned your car in my drive” (I’d waited in the car). “Get it moved now”. So should I have (a) blocked one lane of the road in a heatwave, (b) blocked the pavement and cycleway or (c) done what I did. Fault transpired to be alternator malfunction at low speeds. I was quite upset, but the professional and kind RAC operative was brilliant. He needed to follow me home since I had his battery. So I gave him a bottle of lemonade and a couple of ice lollies, as wearing those fluorescents on a hot day he was really suffering with the heat. Note driveway/front garden large enough to accommodate 8 cars comfortably

Well, if that's the case, the guy should have been more gracious. That's quite a driveway.

The Highway Code can only mandate that you move your vehicle to somewhere it is legally entitled to be. So that’s not really helpful, is it? As in the OPs case it was not possible to get it off the road legally.

However, I have also posted several times that I think what the OP did was absolutely the right thing for the good of all road users, but I also recognise that she didn't have a absolute ‘right’ to do it. And I have also said that personally I wouldn’t have had the front to do it. Fair play to those that do. I’d have stopped at the side of the road, got out of the vehicle and informed the police and a breakdown service.

And I’d do that because I wouldn’t have the front to use someone else’s drive, and because the risk of trying to manoeuvre a faulty vehicle any further than you have to is that you cause even more of a problem. Maybe that didn’t happen this time, but equally it might have done. And if your car drops the contents of its engine all over someone’s gravel drive, who pays for the clean-up? Given that it’s an offence to allow pollutants into the drains so it’d have to be done properly. And for those who are then going to pile on and say that didn’t happen, equally, we don’t know that stopping on the road would have caused chaos, carnage and delayed ambulances ;)

The reality is that we all do what we think is best, and sometimes it works out, and sometimes we upset people. We don’t know what’s going on in other people’s lives, so judging and throwing insults, while easy, doesn’t really add much to the debate IMO.

The fact that the driveway was large and OP was not blocking anyone in or out is literally in the opening post.

several people have said the wife wasn’t bothered, but we don’t know that-the fact she contacted her husband suggests she was.

She offered to call the AA on behalf of the Op so she was considerably more thoughtful than her husband.

We also don't know that it is a fact that she contacted her husband. Telephones work in both directions and people mention things that are going on when they're called. Or maybe she did phone him because she knew he was likely to fly into a rage and was trying to placate him before he arrived home. Who knows? There are lots of possible interpretations and it's all supposition but from what the OP says, the woman gave no outward indication that it was a big problem.

I think you definitely did the right thing! What a stressful situation. The husband was just a nasty person.

Thank you, this totally vindicates OP. Not that we need the HC to do that, because it’s common sense.

Like all sensible, helpful and frankly irrefutable posts, watch it get ignored by certain posters.

I didn’t say she would have been in fewer peoples way. I said her car would have been inconveniencing other cars, not pedestrians. Which is as it should be as cars already inconvenience everyone not in a car and use up huge amounts of public space. They need to stick to the area allotted to them even if that sometimes means more traffic jams when we’re driving.

Why. Can you explain what harm they are doing to you?

If a pedestrian had a heart attack and staggered into your drive while their family called an ambulance, would you kick them on to the pavement?

What is inconvenient about helping someone in need? What exactly are you worried about? ( NB the OP was not blocking access so don’t try that one).

I can totally understand why you pulled onto their driveway instead of causing an obstruction on the carriageway but did you go and knock on the door and explain the situation? Bit bizarre if you didn’t and you just rang the RAC being prepared to wait however long it took them to come out without saying anything to the homeowner.

She spoke to the homeowner who offered to ring the AA for her.

I have

a car
a drive way
empathy
kindness
no fear of randoms

I'm glad I’m me and not you!

Also no fear of breakdown trucks!!

Op has clearly said she spoke to the woman who lived there. The woman offered to call the AA. She also confirms the man said he'd spoken to his wife who old him op was there and had broken down.

Sorry, I missed the fact that the woman offered to call the AA. Apologies.
I’ll blame the heat (still bloody too hot for me here) and next door’s screaming and screeching kids for the lack of concentration!

Better that they get in everybody's way on the pavement than something like a family getting killed. A rear end shunt from a pram is a bit different from a rear end shunt from a car or bus. People don't expect cars to be stationary on an otherwise clear road and it can be hard to judge stopping distance, which is why you sometimes get pile ups on the motorway when traffic is standstill and people don't brake in time.

Of course you can if you are not blocking them in or out (but blocking them IN is the big deal that could get you towed) and you're not causing damage to the property.

Then all you are doing is trespassing which is a civil offence and they can only pursue you legally if they can prove you cost them anything by being there (typically via damage).

Better that than blocking a live lane and potentially causing another or larger accident.

Staying in the car would be stupid.

This is what the emergency triangle you’re advised to have in the back of your car is for.

Or she wanted to get rid of her and thought the AA would speed that up.

I think some people make a fair point about being wary of scams, which is why some people might react the way they did. I don't trust anyone who comes to my door for any sales or community purpose. Too many scammers out there. Likewise I don't trust people who phone and say they are doing surveys or soliciting donations for charity or whatever. We do have to be extra vigilant about that sort of thing these days.

People having medical episodes obviously I will help, but I'm on guard. I've taught my children this too. I was out with my DD one day and there was a man lying on the pavement. Everything in me wants to help and check they are okay, but my wariness says to keep my distance and just call emergency services if someone seems to need help. After we walked past (on the other side of the road), the guy just got up and walked away, perfectly fine. I thank that guy for teaching my child a valuable lesson.

I'm usually the first person to want to help but I've learned to go against that instinct to protect myself. That's not to say I don't help people, I'm just very careful about it.

Good for you, I'm glad I've made you happy

I still think abandoning a car on a dual carriageway is extremely dangerous and should be a last resort.

People usually put those red triangles like 20 ft behind the car. This won't be remotely enough stopping distance for a heavy vehicle. I'm always looking a long way ahead and benefit from having a high cab which allows me to see over the top of cars.

However, some vehicles like dustcarts have low 'bus style' cabs so the driver isn't having to climb up and down the steps 100 times a shift. These don't offer as good visibility and if the car driver in front isn't paying attention and suddenly swerves around a stationary vehicle you won't be able to stop.

We had to discuss a case like this in one of our CPC courses. An arctic driver was driving too close to the car in front and didn't manage to stop when the car suddenly swerved around the broken down car.

It was an Indian family and they had vacated the vehicle, but the wagon sent their car flying into them. I think they were actually on the other side of the barrier from memory. In the commotion they couldn't find the grandmother or young daughter and it turned out they were underneath the wrecked car.

The young girl suffered life changing injuries and I think the granny died.

That poster is going against the grain since it would appear that we have mumsnetters opening up not just their driveways to random people breaking down but their homes, their fridges with cold drinks and even their very toilets