AIBU for pulling into a private drive after my car failed?

[1hatchling1fledgling]

WWYD? AIBU. In a big traffic jam on an urban dual carriageway for ages. Suddenly my entire dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree, lose power steering, brakes etc. hazards on and get my car somehow into the left hand lane and then into the huge drive of a large house. Knock and explain. Call RAC who have arrived when the husband gets home. I instantly apologise and he says “yes my wife told me that you had abandoned your car in my drive” (I’d waited in the car). “Get it moved now”. So should I have (a) blocked one lane of the road in a heatwave, (b) blocked the pavement and cycleway or (c) done what I did. Fault transpired to be alternator malfunction at low speeds. I was quite upset, but the professional and kind RAC operative was brilliant. He needed to follow me home since I had his battery. So I gave him a bottle of lemonade and a couple of ice lollies, as wearing those fluorescents on a hot day he was really suffering with the heat. Note driveway/front garden large enough to accommodate 8 cars comfortably

Well, yes, it felt rude because it was rude. Maybe it was the “least worst” option but that still doesn’t make it not rude. You decided you had a right to someone else’s property! Whether I or anyone else would be ok with it, doesn’t matter.

In a city outskirts my car broke down.. An elderly couple came out offering the dc to go in and watch TV!
The dc declined but what a lovely pair!. Sadly you met a twat.

I agree, it felt very rude. It felt like the least worst option in a panicky situation. So the road layout easily snarls as it is a dual carriageway flanked by enormous villas. So, 2 lanes, then the shared pavement and cycleway is literally barely the width of a car. We’d been virtually stationary for about 20 minutes. As it was an alternator issue all sources of power gadgets had switched off including power steering and I didn’t even know if I had brakes because all the warning lights were on for all these functions, trying to drive my car to a safe place on the other side of the roundabout 300m away (with traffic lights on it too) could have been a disaster. Try steering a car without power assistance! If I knew then what I know now then yes there is a service station on the far side of the roundabout, but what if I’d crashed trying to get there? The benefit of hindsight.

I sighed at the title originally, as the way our driveway is set up, a lot of cheeky idiots pull into it while visiting the neighbour on one side. People also use it as a turning around point. Even though we're in a totally private courtyard tucked well away.

Having read your story however, I changed my mind. You absolutely did the right thing. Room for 8 cars? What's his issue?

Me, I'd have invited you in for a cup of tea and some biccies while you waited for the RAC guy. I've always been taught to help people and offer food and drinks. The British Gas guy used to love me!

Guarantee that if you'd just stopped - blocking the dual carriageway, or conked out driving round looking for a free public space, he would have been swearing at whoever caused the blockage that delayed him getting home.

You did a sensible thing, particularly when you don't know how long you've got until the engine goes or whatever.

Can’t believe 1/3 of people voted YABU!!

what has happened to peoples manners?! Dread to think how those voters would deal with it in the same situation. The mind boggles.

youre not in the wrong. The guys a fucker.

I would never consider landing my broken down car in somebody’s driveway. It’s private property so they were fully within their rights to be annoyed. Personally if I were in their situation I’d be ok with it as you were actively trying to sort it out, but the man was not at all unreasonable to be pi$$ed off with you. Totally irrelevant how much space they have, private property is private property and you had no rights at all here.

Of course it's fine, and it's not rude to pull a broken down car into a driveway, blocking nobody in, if you have no other choice.

Anyone who objects to someone doing that is a prime arsehole.

I would have been offering you drinks not berating you! He sounds like a nob. As you say, you had a split second to make a decision and any other option would have caused danger /chaos not just inconvenience

Gerrofmyland! 🙄🙄 do you carry pitchforks too?

That’s my question. What would you have done in the same situation. You have very limited steering and possibly no brakes, in a solid traffic jam, and no other options for parking that wasn’t going to inconvenience or cause a danger to someone else? Someone with a pushchair or wheelchair would not have got past if I’d pulled onto the pavement and cycleway. I’m not complaining about the husbands attitude, with the motorway past the city completely stationary he may have spent the last hour trying to get home himself. Ironically if I’d left my car on the road it may have taken him an additional hour on top of that, as all routes through or round the city were gridlocked!

If it’s a very large/expensive house it’s possible that the wife was scared or they were worried it was a scam of some kind.

I have to say, I’d feel a bit twitchy if a random person parked in my driveway for a period of time.

It’s not actually that unreasonable for him to ask you to move asap though it would have been nicer if he’s been a bit more neutral in tone.

It's absolutely unreasonable to be pissed off with someone who needed to get off a busy road if their car is broken.

Just common fucking decency tells you that.

I could understand him being annoyed if you were blocking him in but he sounds awful.

My DF had a puncture and did the same thing. The woman whose drive it was was an absolute star. DF was very panicky (he was in his 80s at the time) and she really looked after him even though she had her own DF with her (he had dementia and she was about to take him out for the day).

She then had to put up with the AA guy arriving, us arriving, she directed the AA guy to a nearby tyre place (an all woman set up run by her friend!) and took it all in her stride.

What a gal!

Tbh I’d be pissed off if you pulled into my private driveway too.

What’s really the difference between what you did and people using the driveway of PP’s friend’s driveway for the school run? Convenience over another option. Private is private.

also adding the point that the owner’s occupant at the time was (as far as the OP days) a woman on her own. If I were on my own I would be very wary of a random car pulling into my driveway.

Do you have a husband / partner ?

Get him to go round tomorrow at the same time as bloke came home with a big bunch of flowers for bloke's wife to say ' thank you '

see what bloke says then to another man

She didn't set out to land the bloody car there. She had limited options in the circumstances and chose the one she saw as the best whilst acknowledging there was no good option.

It's funny you didn't actually offer an alternative to what you would have done in the situation.

Wow people are so cold!

We have a large shared drive (6 houses share the space) and we would all have been happy to help you! The only issue we've had in the past was a van driver who arrived in the snow, didn't realise part of the area is a lawn, and ended up sunk into the middle of the grass! We weren't so pleased about that but we still wouldn't have been rude!

Annoyingly the other options were to put on hazards (what they’re there for) and do what usually happens when a private driveway isn’t there.

So you'd drive alongside a busy dual carriageway knowing your brakes may fail?

Bloody hell.

If you can't think of any difference between that and parking near a school for convenience then you must find life very difficult and confusing.

What's the difference between someone parking on a driveway simply because they can't be arsed to walk 50 yards to drop their kid off at school, and someone pulling into a driveway to avoid a dangerous situation with a broken-down car blocking up a dual carridgeway?

You seriously can't figure that out?

Exactly. She even offered to get the AA out and pretend that it was her car, but I think that might have been fraudulent and anyway I have RAC. If she had minded I’m not quite sure what I would have done though. What could I have done better to reassure her that it was a genuine situation? Should I drop off some flowers once my car is fixed even (alternators aren’t cheap tho?) or would that be creepy overkill?

Which is a redundant point because in this instance the OP had the option to not block the pavement or a whole lane of traffic and she inconvenienced no one. Which seems like a bloody good outcome all things considered.

I was going to say exactly this. Kill with kindness. Bunch of flowers and a thank you to the wife. That’s how nice people treat others. Make the bloke squirm .

ps you might need to park in the drive again to deliver the flowers though 🫣