AIBU for pulling into a private drive after my car failed?

[1hatchling1fledgling]

WWYD? AIBU. In a big traffic jam on an urban dual carriageway for ages. Suddenly my entire dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree, lose power steering, brakes etc. hazards on and get my car somehow into the left hand lane and then into the huge drive of a large house. Knock and explain. Call RAC who have arrived when the husband gets home. I instantly apologise and he says “yes my wife told me that you had abandoned your car in my drive” (I’d waited in the car). “Get it moved now”. So should I have (a) blocked one lane of the road in a heatwave, (b) blocked the pavement and cycleway or (c) done what I did. Fault transpired to be alternator malfunction at low speeds. I was quite upset, but the professional and kind RAC operative was brilliant. He needed to follow me home since I had his battery. So I gave him a bottle of lemonade and a couple of ice lollies, as wearing those fluorescents on a hot day he was really suffering with the heat. Note driveway/front garden large enough to accommodate 8 cars comfortably

Doesn't matter what she was. If it was a driveway that allowed room for two cars side by side, then fine. The guy was an idiot and not very gracious. If it was a single width driveway, it was inappropriate, especially if broken down and unable to move. If I'd have to get my child to the hospital for an appointment on that day, I'd have had it pushed out so I could get to said appointment, or towed (even if not allowed). You don't know what needs the person you were blocking might have.

You said you parked your car neatly out of the way in this persons driveway and then also said you couldn’t steer due to power steering failure…🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ which one is it?!?!

I own and drive a car. I wouldn't want a random car on my drive. But I would certainly prefer that to someone breaking down in the road, remaining there, and being hit from behind by another vehicle, which is a distinct possibility.

How was the man inconvenienced in the situation described by tbe Op?

Unless you are literally blocked in, please explain how having a car on your driveway for a few hours inconvieniences you in anyway whatsoever.

And then compare that to the inconvience you suffer when something is blocking an actual busy road.

I’ve got a big drive, could fit 6-8 cars at a push. I like to think I would have been nicer than this man and his wife but you don’t know what else they have going on - maybe she’s really anxious and has been calling him worried about it all afternoon - that you are some kind of scammer.

I wouldn’t have done what you did, no. But I don’t think I would have hugely minded if you had done it to me and I wouldn’t have been rude. It’s may be irrelevant it’s a big drive by the way. The way my drive is set out a big part of it is for easy turning so I don’t have to back out onto the main road and you may have made that more difficult. I also would be worried a broken down car might be going to drip oil all over my newly resurfaced driveway or that I am going to be stuck with an abandoned car. Also, bigger families (often the case in bigger houses) may have children and other family members or even staff with cars all arriving home at a similar time and suddenly that big driveway isn’t so big allowing room to turn to get out again. Also I would hate you parked tucked in down by the gate as you might completely obstruct visibility for getting out which if you are turning onto a busy road is a complete pain. Our entrance is really wide and people part block it (as they think there is loads of room to get out). Except you just can’t see to get out so end up inching out onto a busy road.

After having a breakdown truck empty the contents of my oil filter out onto my driveway - actually my landlords driveway! - and the mess and chaos of trying to get it cleaned off afterwards and the breakdown company refusing liability I can quite understand why these people weren’t happy about a random stranger parking on their drive with a car needing work on it! My landlord’s driveway ended up needing completely resurfacing due to the damage that the breakdown company did to it and I ended up having to pay as they refused to

But that hasn’t happened in this scenario.

I did exactly the same thing as you a few weeks ago after a pothole related incident destroyed my tyre.

the lovely lady whose drive I was stranded on kept offering tea and biscuits and even sandwiches.

he sounds like an awful man.

I'd do it. Auto gates, so I don't have to get out. As it is I have gates to keep my dogs in.

It's my drive and I don't want a broken down car and breakdown truck on it. It's not a layby.
The vehicles could drop oil all over it, block me or my family members in or out, run over my pets, make a noise while I'm trying to work, more cars could turn up to help out the stranded driver.. I would not be nasty about it though.

Of course he wouldn’t.

Absolute dick on a power trip. Walloper as we say in Scotland.

Let's just say, for the sake of argument, you lived beside a fast, winding country road and a family in their car broke down outside your property. The driver asked if they could push it onto their drive until breakdown assistance arrived, and you refused. While the family was in the process of getting out of the vehicle, a lorry came around the corner and struck the car, killing a child and seriously injuring the other family members. Would you stand by your decision?

I suppose if you live along one of those sorts of roads it may happen quite a lot. Someone stops for an emergency and maybe sometimes just pull in for a minute to get something from the boot, have a drink or swap drivers. It could get aggravating. But there is no need to be rude and I think you did the right thing getting your car off the road so it it wouldn't be a hazard and cause even more chaos.

But OP wasn't doing any of that, and let's be honest, the only slightly valid concern out of that list is oil dripping, to which there is a very easy fix of.... a tray or a sheet under the car.

I mean, how exactly is a car which is broken down going to run over one of your pets?

I was wondering that too, unless he was coming the other way.

Of course no one wants that inconvenience, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right thing for OP to do.
I’d rather I hadn’t been blocked in by an ambulance when I wanted to drive my son to a football match, but unexpected things happen which trump our own wants.

they were not inconvenienced though - wife was fine with it, and the man could access his property.

Missing a football match is bad luck. I'm more worried about not being able to get my disabled and seriously ill child to the hospital or other medical services because someone is sitting blocking my driveway. Something that actually matters. That's not a want, that's a need. I've had to ask tradies to move to let me out before. Difference is that they aren't broken down and hard to get out of the driveway.

I never care when people use the end of my driveway to turn around.

Did you block the drive, meaning he couldn't drive onto it when he returned home. If so, then yes, YABU. Where do you think he'd park his car - you couldn't expect him to park somewhere else and walk back when he had bought a house with his own drive, or for him to park on the road obstructing the traffic or risking getting a parking fine? Would you have paid his fine??

However, if the drive was big/wide enough for your car, the RAC van AND the owner's own car to all fit on, then YANBU.

As always, the facts/detail determine the answer to whether YWBU.

Yes, poor circumstances for you, but you aren't entitled to make YOUR problems into HIS problems.

Precisely. It's perfectly reasonable not to actually be happy about someone parking on your drive but also possible to acknowledge that they were in a difficult situation, maybe panicked a bit and need a bit of kindness or at least tolerance from another human being for a bit.
I live in the countryside and yes, if a stranger pulled into my drive and I was on my own I would be anxious and not exactly thrilled about it. There is some risk to having unknown people on your property but in reality most people who are going to do that are genuinely in trouble. And a broken down car on our narrow lane would be big trouble for lots of people so I'd do what I could to help resolve things swiftly, and certainly avoid making a bad situation any worse than it had to be.

OP hasn't answered one query about the size of the driveway, so I suspect it was indeed single wide and she was in the way of the man.

I once had a neighbour's tradesmen park his van on my drive, without either of them asking, of course, as is par for the course with entitled tradesmen.

When he finally moved it (about two hours after I asked him to as he claimed he was "in the middle of something"), there was a huge patch of oil that stained my block paving. When I pointed it out, he glibly promised to come back with his Karcher to spray it clean, but inevitably, never saw him again. I ended up power-washing it myself, but even years later there's still a faint stain.

Well she stated that it was a large drive in the first post, then at 22.07 last night she said "And the huge driveway had space for 10 cars and I managed to tuck into a corner near the entrance gate. House and paved area out front was massive; space for 10 cars at least."

Obviously the emergency services do what they have to do, but a car breakdown isn't the same at all.
Private drives are not for public use. I can see why the OP did it in the moment, and it's no excuse for being nasty but it's not appropriate to use a private drive as a refuge area.