AIBU for pulling into a private drive after my car failed?

[1hatchling1fledgling]

WWYD? AIBU. In a big traffic jam on an urban dual carriageway for ages. Suddenly my entire dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree, lose power steering, brakes etc. hazards on and get my car somehow into the left hand lane and then into the huge drive of a large house. Knock and explain. Call RAC who have arrived when the husband gets home. I instantly apologise and he says “yes my wife told me that you had abandoned your car in my drive” (I’d waited in the car). “Get it moved now”. So should I have (a) blocked one lane of the road in a heatwave, (b) blocked the pavement and cycleway or (c) done what I did. Fault transpired to be alternator malfunction at low speeds. I was quite upset, but the professional and kind RAC operative was brilliant. He needed to follow me home since I had his battery. So I gave him a bottle of lemonade and a couple of ice lollies, as wearing those fluorescents on a hot day he was really suffering with the heat. Note driveway/front garden large enough to accommodate 8 cars comfortably

You were unlucky that the man was such a twat. What sort of idiot says “get it moved now” when there is an RAC man with his head under the bonnet?

I despair at how nasty society has become.

If he is that bothered about his drive being used for safety reasons in an emergency maybe he needs to install some gates.

Well indeed. Of course it’s the correct thing to do. A pp helpfully posted what the Highway Code says about the number one priority in a breakdown situation as well (clue: it isn’t to make sure you stay off private land).

Having a go at someone who had broken down, had parked on a huge driveway considerately and had knocked on the door to apologise and explain is the very definition of being a prick.

Parking on a busy road when there is an alternative, much safer, far less obstructive alternative would be fucking stupid.

What's a driving space?

Was it your drive?

So, no one should ever help anyone, because the person in distress is of no concern to others? How did you come to develop this selfish attitude?

I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing that. I would have parked half on the pavement so pedestrians could get by and half on the road so that cars could pass albeit a bit slower. Cars break down. Road users know that and manoeuvre around them just as they would an accident. It’s expected. What isn’t expected is someone parking their car on a complete stranger’s drive and thinking it’s ok for it to stay there until it is fixed.

Those people saying that as the woman didn’t mind you doing it, the man must have been a bully to have voiced his objection would almost certainly taken the opposite view if it had been the man who had said it was ok.

I don’t think YABU, but also am imagining the guy has something going on, himself, to provoke such a reaction to an obvious breakdown emergency.
Perhaps we all need to be kind.

Why is it more acceptable to inconvenience and potentially endanger umpteen motorists and pedestrians than a single householder?

YANBU I agree with using the driveway on that occasion. You didn't go anywhere else and waited with the car. You would have been welcome on my driveway if you had been passing.

If you knocked and the woman said it was OK, you are not in the wrong.

Unless her husband has the ultimate say here?

Red route I'd call the police to warn them.eg if in Central London. What can you do? Someone is going to be put out whatever you do. Op is more trusting in human nature than me. When my car dies it stops completely

The point here is the householder was not inconvenienced.

It's not a huge deal but I still think the OP should have just rolled into the left side of the road and dealt with it there.

On the one hand, the stress and confusion of the breakdown, yet on the other able to safely navigate and survey a private drive with 8-10 car spaces, and park so precisely as not to block anyone....

But OP took what felt like the safest option in the moment, and realistically it probably was, pulling over anywhere on the road is not without its hazards… I’d have done the same.

Because those road users don’t own the road whereas the homeowner owns his drive. There is nothing potentially dangerous about driving slowly past a broken down vehicle. Do you think when someone else’s property isn’t accessible to park on there is absolute carnage when someone breaks down?

The worst that happens is other drivers are delayed by the short time it takes to pass the broken down car. When I pass someone who has broken down I genuinely feel sorry for them. Someone thinking my drive was a good spot to pull into to wait their car to be fixed would get no sympathy from me whatsoever.

It is rude not to differentiate between someone who has no good reason to enter your driveway and someone who does and to treat them all the same. Given the precise circumstances, the OP took the best course of action available to her which inconvenienced the smallest number of people. She remained with her car, explained the situation, apologised and was not actually in anyone’s way. The man was unpleasant when he should have been understanding.

There is always a potential danger when there is an unexpected obstruction in the road, especially nowadays when there a change drivers will be looking at their phones or otherwise distracted.

To answer your daft question, no, I don’t think there is absolute carnage when someone breaks down where there is no alternative but to block the carriageway. However, if there is somewhere to take refuge, this very obviously reduces the risk of a collision.

Now you are just being silly. Go and make yourself a nice cup of tea.

As posted previously-

Rule 275If you need to stop your vehicle in the event of a breakdown or incident, try to stop in a place of relative safety. A place of relative safety is where you, your passengers and your vehicle are less likely to be at risk from moving traffic.
The safest place to stop is a location which is designed for parking. On motorways and other high-speed roads, the safest place to stop is a service area…

Rule 276If your vehicle breaks down, think first of all other road users and

• get your vehicle off the road if possible

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/the-highway-code/breakdowns-and-incidents-274-to-287

It's really not silly to state that it is far more sensible to pull a broken down car off the road if possible than it is to leave it on the road, causing an obstruction, increasing the risk of accidents and potentially using up the time of the emergency services for no good reason.

And at what cost? Someone having a car parked up on their driveway for a few hours while it can be recovered? Oh noes, the humanity.

It was a dual carriage way. Put the kettle on

You are being silly for thinking that the sanctity of someone's driveway is more important than the safety of motorists. Why you don't you have a nice cup of tea, and take the opportunity to familiarise yourself with the Highway Code? Maybe see if you can develop some common sense while you're at it.

Gosh I feel emotionally wounded. I thought your silliness was just in the moment whereas I think you just said I have no common sense at all. I feel crushed…. No… wait a minute…I actually feel bored. Your wittering bores me, so yes, I shall go and make myself a nice cup of tea.

What a childish response. The Highway Code stipulates "If your vehicle breaks down, think first of all other road users and get your vehicle off the road if possible". Are you saying the Highway Code is silly?

Uhuh, and blocking up 1 lane of a dual carriage way is a good idea, is it?

It's unreasonable to use someone's private drive for a broken down car. It's not part of the road. Why should they be inconvenienced because your car broke down? I would have asked you to move it too. Though in a nice way! All the folk saying yes it's fine probably don't have a drive or a car. I don't want a random car and a breakdown truck on my drive.