To be sick of my hobbies being judged differently just because I’m fat?

[hobbiesevademe]

Basically just the question in my title.

I run, but slowly. Of course the fact I’m slow in some moral failing and I must aim to lose as much weight as possible and get faster. But if a skinny person is a slow runner, it’s something that’s praised and respected.

I bake, really bloody good cakes. And it’s obviously because I like eating cake, right 🙄 but if someone skinny bakes an impressive cake, it’s a work of art.

I sew, and it’s grandma-ish and frumpy. But if a skinny person sews their own clothes it’s cool, sustainable and “cottage core”

I like sports and it must be to get guys, but when a skinny girl likes the same sports it’s cool and she’s accepted.

i read, and it’s “lonely” and a bit pathetic.

im a bit sick of being labelled negatively for everything I bloody do. I feel like I can’t win.

I agree that if possible, surround yourself with better people. I’m impressed by your variety of interests and skills. The negative Nellie’s sound like the sort of people, who, when Jesus turned water into wine would say snidely, “It’s because he’s an alcoholic, you know.” Maybe you could shift the conversation to them. “Tell me, does it ever bother you to think that the outfit you’re trying on has been worn by a lot of strangers before you? You don’t wonder if they may have not bathed in weeks or had body lice? Well, I enjoy the creativity of sewing something beautiful just for me instead of grabbing something mass produced and shopworn.”
That’s a lot of words, but you know what I mean. The short version might be “You’re wrong. And anyway, why do you care? Is your life so empty you have to criticize the lives of others?”
I think you’re amazing. You could huddle in your house all day just playing video games for hours. Which is okay, but your life seems so much richer than that. Finally, feel sorry for these ignorant, mean-spirited fools. Aren’t you glad that you’re not like them?

That comment has got nothing to do with your weight though. Maybe they think your hobbies are boring, or maybe they're trying to be humorous but obviously to the wrong audience.

I never said I weighed that now, I did in the past so I’m not sure if you’re 9 or 10 stone but you 100% must be thin at that weight and height. I’m now 10 stone 6 and I am extremely slim. I’m a long distance runner so very toned and slim which may make me slimmer too. I couldn’t physically weigh any less than this without being sick. My fat level is 21%.

Yes agree, it’s to do with body fat level. Maybe you have a higher level of body fat @Imdunfer .

Who is actually saying all this to you?

If your not that weight now I'm not sure why you're telling me your current fat %.

I'm 9st 12lbs and 5ft 8. I am not thin. I am slim. I have plenty of body fat. I do have thin bones and I'm not bulky with muscle, which of course weighs more, but my BMI is not anywhere near the low weight zone, it's half way up the healthy between thin and overweight.

We have simply lost sight of what a normal weight looks like.

You do sound like you’re either projecting or you’re surrounded by some very judgmental awful people.
I can’t run at all not even for the bus ( I can walk quite quickly when necessary) I’d miss the last bus and need to get a taxi .
I don’t really sew other than mending something or sewing buttons back on .
I can bake but it’s really not that impressive , only basic bakes .
I don’t like sports really .
I’m not skinny , I’m middle of the BMI chart for my height .

Muscle actually does not weigh more than fat. 1kg of muscle and a kg of fat weigh the same. The issue is density which is why someone who strength trains can look slimmer than someone of the same weight that doesn't

Oh for goodness sake. We're talking about muscle and fat in the context of body size.

Of course a kilo of feathers weighs the same as a kilo of lead!

I'm quite aware of that - but you said muscle weighs more than fat. It doesn't - your exact words were "which of course weighs more". I was simply saying that's not the case

Are you really so stupid that in the context of this whioe discussion about body size you couldn't work out that I couldn't be bothered to type the words "for the same size” because absolutely everyone but you knew exactly what I meant?

You really thought it clarified things for people to point out that a kilo weighs a kilo?

No I'm not stupid. I'm a personal trainer who sees a lot of urban myths around fitness being repeated on social media. Once more if you read back your own post you posted in black and white that muscle weighs more than fat.

Ps. Maybe you want to check the huge typo you've just made before you continue to name call me as stupid for no reason.

People make swype errors all the time. They aren't connected with intelligence. Again you knew exactly what it meant.

Nobody who says that muscle weighs more that fat means anything other than that a litre of muscle will weigh more than a litre of fat.

You're quite the pendant, constantly picking on things that in context are self evident, aren't you?

Being called skinny is definitely not equally offensive.

I wasn't being pedantic. I politely said that you were wrong. You're the person who then started name calling me and calling me stupid.

For context regarding my stupidity, I have two post grads and I'm just about to finish my third BA degree, I don't really need to be sitting worrying because some random person on mumsnet who is name calling me is questioning my intelligence.

pedant, not pendant .

I think people can lose sight of the fact that people are individuals and how someone can look at a certain weight can depend on their training.

I am just under five foot two. I have been 11 stones 7 and a size 16 and 11 stones 11 and a size 12-14. The difference is in the training

The tipping point for my weight is if I go over 12 stones 10 (when I'm still training a lot) . I start to feel uncomfortable

Even at my very fittest I struggle to get my body fat percentage below around 27.

My brother is a personal trainer and he's got a body fat percentage of around 20. It's been lower but his BMI is just over 25 and that puts him into the obese category - he's not obese

If I don't train I look a lot bigger even if I'm the same weight - however that might not be the same for everyone

People can be the same height and feel ok at much different weights

My mum is around an inch taller than me and very slim and if she is over 10 stones she starts to feel uncomfortable (which she has only been once in her life), whereas I'm quite comfortable at that weight. People don't all have the same body types or frames either.

Right, so they didn't say "get a life fatty" and then turn to a skinny woman who said she was doing the same thing, and praised her for it? You're just projecting all of that onto the situation? Feeding yourself a made up narrative that makes you a victim? Maybe stop living in your own head. No one is that interested in you and no one is out to get you.

Well it's either a crap attempt at humour or a snidey comment from the office mean girl/bloke. Surely you just respond with an eye roll or a "get fucked" and crack on?
And honestly, anyone who thinks reading is lonely and pathetic is too thick to give a shit about.
I don't get why you think these comments are because you're fat?

Well your certainly hanging round my neck, so both work for me 🤣

Ive personally not heard any of these and ive never thought this myself either. Is it possible this is insecurities speaking?

I don’t get that either?

Because its the narrative social media has taught her to play in her head

Don't flatter yourself.

I run, but slowly. Of course the fact I’m slow in some moral failing and I must aim to lose as much weight as possible and get faster. But if a skinny person is a slow runner, it’s something that’s praised and respected.

When are skinny slow runners respected? I didn't even know that was a thing. I was always booed for running slowly in 5k runs when I was thin.

I don't consider it a compliment 😆