To be sick of my hobbies being judged differently just because I’m fat?

[hobbiesevademe]

Basically just the question in my title.

I run, but slowly. Of course the fact I’m slow in some moral failing and I must aim to lose as much weight as possible and get faster. But if a skinny person is a slow runner, it’s something that’s praised and respected.

I bake, really bloody good cakes. And it’s obviously because I like eating cake, right 🙄 but if someone skinny bakes an impressive cake, it’s a work of art.

I sew, and it’s grandma-ish and frumpy. But if a skinny person sews their own clothes it’s cool, sustainable and “cottage core”

I like sports and it must be to get guys, but when a skinny girl likes the same sports it’s cool and she’s accepted.

i read, and it’s “lonely” and a bit pathetic.

im a bit sick of being labelled negatively for everything I bloody do. I feel like I can’t win.

Well they're being rude but i dont get why you think they wouldnt think someone who's thin and sews also needs to get a life.
Why are you bringing weight into it?

I'm sorry but I think you're fooling yourself by comparing yourself to what is now normal in the high street.

I am over an inch taller than you and I weigh 4 stone less. I am not thin. There is no body shape that would not make you considerably overweight at that height and weight.

How the people on your running forum know you’re fat, though? They’re judging you for your running speed, sure, but that’s the only thing they know about you unless you’re announcing your weight or dress size in every post. Presumably they’d say the same thing if you were a thin person running slowly (and a lot of thin people do run slowly).

If people are being unkind in your running forum (rather than trying to encourage you to improve your time, which I suppose is the point for most runners) I would look for a more supportive place to post.

I’m not denying that people can be judgemental about weight - of course they can. I’m overweight myself, and currently working hard to change that, so I’m certainly conscious of those issues. But nothing you’ve described suggests that things people have said about your hobbies are actually anything to do with your weight.

Counterpoint: I’m 5’3” and at my slimmest was a size 8-10. My friend at the time was the exactly the same dress size as me - we literally used to swap clothes - and around the same height, maybe an inch taller at the most.

I weighed 11 stone and she weighed 8.5 stone. She had a higher body fat percentage than I did.

Well you've got a few choices:

1. Don't tell people what your hobbies are and / or don't post about them online.
2. Assume they are ignorant and go into great detail about how amazing a hobby sewing / whatever is - i.e. be ultra positive about the great weekend you'll be having.
3. Ask them what they are doing and make a dismissive comment about it (revenge)
4. Be confident in yourself and laugh / ignore / look puzzled by any mean remarks.

Or get to know normal, polite, respectful people. I'm sure you already do!

You watched her weigh herself?

At 11 stone and 5ft 3 you were packing one hell of a lot of muscle if you weren't fat.

Who’s saying you’re fat at a 12-14? Lmao I’m sorry but this post is absolutely ridiculous I do all the same hobby’s as you, am a size 14/16,and nobody has ever said anything negative about it

To me you seem motivated, you get there, you’re crafty and creative, you bake good cakes, you’re a super star. ❤️

But have people actually said things like that to you? I used to be a UK size 16 at my largest and can't say I have noticed any difference in how I am treated doing my hobbies then compared to now when I am a size 10.

Once in my life, a snooty old cow I was chatting too when doing a long circular walk around Holy Island felt the need to point out it was a long way, and seemed surprised when I said I knew and do lots of long walks. She made some vague comment about not knowing if people walk or not. I asked her why she thought I looked like I didn't walk when I had proper walking clothes and grubby well used hiking boots on, in addition to two very svelte golden retrievers tied to my waist on a running belt (which skinny goldies are a rare sight to see). I knew her prejudice was due to my weight, and she did apologise and said she made assumptions. However, that was just one judgemental women, who I think wouldn't make that mistake again. I don't think that reflects society as a whole and I have never ever had people make comments such as you describe, even when I was fat!

OP I will do a very unmumsnetty thing and assume you more know about your own situation than I do. So taking your word that you are fat, and that people do make comments about your hobbies, it is completely reasonable to be annoyed and to push back.

I would also point out that people absolutely do judge hobbies differently depending who does them. Look at all the attention Tom Daley got for the radical act of...knitting

People who sew and read are never ever boring OP

Listen. I became a personal trainer at 46. I was a size 12-14. I had lost four stones in the 18 months before the course and when my body fat percentage was measured the tutor said - well that will need to come down

He didn't have much to say when I did the fitness tests because I was fit

I'm an absolute crap runner so hats off to you. I have done one half marathon. Several ten ks. Several fives and three triathlons but apart from that - I don't run

I don't even go on the treadmill at the gym. Who cares! I have been called fat all my life mostly by complete strangers because I'm pear shaped and I have been very over weight more than once but I used to get the fat jibes when I was around 9 stones 4.

Please ignore. Some people just love putting other people down. I wish I could sew.

I've had people calling me fat all my life. My primary school nickname was "doughnut". And when I look back I wasn't fat at all. I was just slightly bigger than my friends. I remember saying to a teacher one day they call me doughnut because I'm fat and she said. You're not fat at all.

I've had people shouting out their cars at me. The last time was during lockdown. I remember seeing someone who was two years above me at school in the street when I was in my mid 20s and he shouted at me (see you're still a fat cunt then). I was probably a size 16 then but was a 12 when I was at high school.

Being negative about fat people is one of the few prejudices left that people feel ok about. It colours everything they think about you.

I’m an overweight runner. I have run 3 half marathons. I’m quite slow but I don’t care. No one tells me I should get faster as I never tell them my time lol! I love running. Can’t wait to retire to do more!
I think you’re imagining a lot of it tbh.

I actually suffered from really low self esteem in my teens and unfortunately that led to me having a really unhealthy relationship with food. I've never had an eating disorder but there have been times in my life that I have put on weight when I've been suffering from depression or when I have had injuries. I broke my leg in three places two years ago. And people do comment. One day in lockdown I was walking to the supermarket and someone shouted out his car "haw fatty". Prior to lockdown I was training five days a week but when the gym closed I put on weight. I also remember one Saturday night when I was coming home from the gym. I was maybe around a size 14 then - same "fatty" shouted from a car

But as I said before I was getting all the jibes when I wasn't fat at all. I just wasn't a size ten like some of my friends.

I'm sorry to say too and I am completely aware that not all men are like this but it's always mostly been men who have fat shamed me. Mostly ones I don't know

My mum has the opposite issue. She's tiny and she has struggled to put weight on all her life. I've never shamed her. There have been times where she's been very underweight due to being bullied at work. I never shamed her. I just took her out for lunches to make sure she was eating

Thank you

I can assure you that not everyone who has had unwanted comments about their size or weight is imagining it. I have had it most of my life.

One thing I am very proud of is that when I taught fitness classes is that all shapes and sizes took my classes and felt comfortable doing so. There is nothing wrong with being a PT who absolutely looks the part.

My brother is one. He's very modest and he would never shame anyone. But I think that a lot of people liked my classes because I was in my 40s and because I maybe didn't look like what people thought a PT should look like.

I can relate to people who feel too scared to go to a gym because of their size and I've been that person even though I'm a fitness instructor myself

And Fatties are always trying to be offended because they hate themselves.

See how offensive it is when it is reversed? So stop fucking saying it.

No it isn't. That's like hearing about Pride celebrations and asking "Why isn't their international straight week?"

Being called skinny is just objectively not offensive in the same was as being called fat is.

And I say this as someone who was dangerously skinny in the past. When people commented on it, I fucking loved it!

Our modern society tells us that skinny= good. Unless you have been raised in a vacuum, you know this.

I'm obviously not saying

Sorry, posted too soon.

I am obviously not saying that nobody has ever, in the history of the world, been offended by being called skinny. And I am sorry if this has happened to you. But it's simply not true to pretend it's as offensive as calling someone fat.

I agree. And I don't call people skinny

It's largely considered a derogatory term.
Yes, it is offensive.

You sound like a real person to me. And you can sew as well..l am also quite fat due to mobility problems and older age group.

As long as your lovely fatness doesn't affect your health .Just enjoy your life.

To quote the old song . Anything enjoyable was "iIlegal or immoral or it makes you fast.

Get some tight tee shirts made with old take on the Black Peer Movement.
"Say it loud. I'm Fat and l'm Proud"

Go for it!