To be sick of my hobbies being judged differently just because I’m fat?

[hobbiesevademe]

Basically just the question in my title.

I run, but slowly. Of course the fact I’m slow in some moral failing and I must aim to lose as much weight as possible and get faster. But if a skinny person is a slow runner, it’s something that’s praised and respected.

I bake, really bloody good cakes. And it’s obviously because I like eating cake, right 🙄 but if someone skinny bakes an impressive cake, it’s a work of art.

I sew, and it’s grandma-ish and frumpy. But if a skinny person sews their own clothes it’s cool, sustainable and “cottage core”

I like sports and it must be to get guys, but when a skinny girl likes the same sports it’s cool and she’s accepted.

i read, and it’s “lonely” and a bit pathetic.

im a bit sick of being labelled negatively for everything I bloody do. I feel like I can’t win.

Yeah thin privilege is real. I speak after being significantly overweight since age 11 and lost 5 stone in Mounjaro. I’ve gone from 16 to 11 stone. It’s ironic the person above thought that 12st10 is a “fat” weight.

we are in an obesogenic society but most people are still fat phobic and there is a huge unconscious bias. I have seen this at work. How people treat me. It’s completely different.

Who's saying all this stuff?

I think you're discussing these things with the wrong people.

I like knitting and sewing and making weird scratch built models and painting and cake (not so much making, just the eating) and reading (and ideally reading whilst eating cake).

I have learned not to bother the people who don't 'get' my things with them, because its a waste of my time and theirs. They don't get it, they don't want to and if they are also arseholes, they'll just be horrible about it because they cannot possibly imagine someone enjoying something they don't like.

Well that's just fucking rude. "Get a life" indeed. Who do they think they are. Bet their "life" consists of the pub, takeaways and hangovers 😅

Don't care if you're fat. I see "well made" people running and I think good on you because you're actually doing it.

Ignore the judgemental feckers and do what you enjoy.

I love this, think I will try it.

im also solid as my mum would have said, could certainly afford to loss a little. I also love to bake I’m told I’m good my bread is amazing and my cakes are to die for (can’t make cookies don’t know why) but it’s always implied that I must like them, people are surprised / disbelieving when I say I don’t really eat cake, I might just have a slice once a year maybe but I’m not bothered, I do like bread but don’t eat excessive amounts. I actually had someone say to me one time when I was complaining I couldn’t loose the baby fat, that maybe I shouldn’t bake cakes then !

Hold up, I have questions.

How much of this, quite honestly, would you not be writing if not for the way you see Instagram readers/runners/bakers being congratulated? Because everyone is secretly jealous of them - even the instagrammers know they've put a filter on their photo and cropped it just so and made their life look golden. That's what people are loving - the way that showcasing your life can make everything look the way Christmas morning is supposed to feel.

Who in your real life is speaking to you like this? We need to unpack what twattery you are giving headspace to.

Is there any part of this that comes from actually wanting to be a different shape because that can be done.

Also, you're right to an extent. I agree. Aesthetically pleasing gets more praise. It's particularly noticeable with willowy mothers. All she has to do is float about in a flowing skirt and people get sentimental in a way they would not if she was stocky and wore latex shorts from Primark.

Nah fuck ‘em. Whoever is saying this to you needs to piss off. I’m ‘skinny’ (although prefer the term slim) and I bet you could run faster than me because I am shit at running. I do bake a mean cake though. Can’t sew for toffee.
Whenever I see anyone out running I always think fair play to them and that I am jealous, regardless of age, gender, shape etc

I've never heard of a 'well made' person.

Does it mean fat?

I would've thought it meant well groomed/well put together?

These are all awful but who is saying this and that too consistently across different groups? That's very odd. I mean half the world reads, so why would anyone say it is pathetic? What has reading got to do with weight?

Being completely objective, do you think all these comments are made because you are fat? I have received odd looks and 'get a lifr' comments from good friends, because knitting is seen as an elderly hobby. I brush it off. Speed is seen as a big thing even in social running, where people are trying to improve their personal best all the time. People commenting that your time is slow, and how to improve it, would likely say the same to anyone running that slow.

Of course fat people are treated badly in many walks of life, but it isn't the main reason people will be shitty to you in every situation.

It's really not.

Nah I’m a bit overweight and do these things and don’t get this. You’re projecting

Is anyone actually saying this or is it all in your head?

This sounds like you're either projecting a bit or need to cull a healthy proportion of your social circle. I've literally never heard anything other than positivity for fat people running and baking.

Can I guess that all the "cool looking thin people" you see doing these hobbies are on social media?
I love watching cosy homely vlogs of people sewing and reading in a cottage and yes they are generally thin and make it look cool but.....social media is completely fake!

You are being paranoid. I bet no one has said that to you. I'm a runner, there are larger runners that are faster than me. No one cares what your weight is or what your hobbies are only you.

I don't know anything about the culture of sport hobby groups, but for the other things, you definitely need to find 'your people' - people who are interested in sewing or reading and want to discuss them, not one another.

I've sewn throughout my life (middle aged now) and when I've been thin, fat and everything in between. I don't give a hoot whether it's cool or not.

Let's talk sewing - I've just finished altering a wonderful vintage silk dress to fit me and I can't wait to wear it when it's a bit warmer! What's your current or recent project @hobbiesevademe ?

But who's judging you?

Stop being obsessed about fat and thin. If you think you're fat and aren't happy about it then go on a diet/join a slimming club.

If you are short, 12st 10 is an obese weight. My BMI would be 34 at that weight.

OP, I have been a slim slow runner and am now a post-menopausal overweight slow runner, and at both weights I’ve been told by “helpful” men how to train to speed up. Even happened when I was six months pregnant. Some people just like to give unsolicited and unwanted advice, it makes them feel like an expert (even when the advice is totally wrong).

Good question!. And, I LOVE sewing! Who are these people who say these things OP?

Well I think you sound fucking awesome!

Latex shorts from Primark?? Honestly if such a monstrosity exists, and people wear them, fat or thin they do deserve a bit of opprobrium.

I believe that there is a lot of negative prejudice and stereotyping of 'fat' people.