To be sick of my hobbies being judged differently just because I’m fat?

[hobbiesevademe]

Basically just the question in my title.

I run, but slowly. Of course the fact I’m slow in some moral failing and I must aim to lose as much weight as possible and get faster. But if a skinny person is a slow runner, it’s something that’s praised and respected.

I bake, really bloody good cakes. And it’s obviously because I like eating cake, right 🙄 but if someone skinny bakes an impressive cake, it’s a work of art.

I sew, and it’s grandma-ish and frumpy. But if a skinny person sews their own clothes it’s cool, sustainable and “cottage core”

I like sports and it must be to get guys, but when a skinny girl likes the same sports it’s cool and she’s accepted.

i read, and it’s “lonely” and a bit pathetic.

im a bit sick of being labelled negatively for everything I bloody do. I feel like I can’t win.

I just feel like I’m being hugely judged for normal things
What that person said is pathetic but I wouldn't assume they wouldn't have said the same to a skinny person.

I'm skinny and people make comments about how sad it is that I watch what I eat, that I'm overdoing my sport and will pay for it and other kind of saying. They don't mean to be unkind as such. I don't take any of it personally, they just struggle to understand my perspective and choices.

Cant vote on this because you do sound a bit obsessed but I have an overweight friend who runs and has to put up with catcalls from men who probably dont have her stamina. She does have supportive running friends though.

Find a club where you can get supportive people around you. Then respond to other comments with the mumsnet favourite did you mean to be so rude.

It really is.

Well they’re really bloody rude! What do they think constitutes ‘having a life’?

Do the things that make you happy and the people making unkind comments can go and boil their heads as my Granny would say.

Obsessed?

I’ve never heard these comments from anyone, I’ve never heard anyone comment on someone else’s body as an adult. On social media people can be cruel for sure.

OP sounds like you are projecting or need to find better friends?

OP it's a bit "everyone hates me" - which always makes me think you should go down the garden and eat worms. I'm sure everyone is not making comments like this all the time, just some assholes now and then.

If someone says "get a life" ask them to describe their so superior life (use those words) then tell them its boring.

I do all of the same things. And I am a size 18-20.

Ran 8km last week. Don’t sew that much but I could run up an outfit with enough time. Read loads. Bake amazing cakes, a skill I have passed on to my daughter. I also attend a gym class three times a week.

I also have a really good job in intelligence and compliance and am ear marked for director level promotion in the next 10 years.

You sound like an amazing person, stop letting negative people into your life, cut ties with them and keep being amazing.

You’re overthinking all this OP.
Do what makes you happy and ease up on the forums and discussing your hobbies.

You sound pretty awesome yourself!

That would be a normal response from colleague who doesn't like talking about sewing and see if as a pointless activity. Bit blunt, maybe, but nothing to do with your size.

Is a running forum the best place for a slow jogger to be posting? Couch to 5k type sites might be better? I'm currently slim and shuffling jogging at 9kph for 3k, I would expect some comments about how useless I am if I joined a running site.

I suspect your main problem is your own self esteem, you post doesn't read as if you like yourself very much?

It isn’t fat at my height at all. I was fat at 14 stone + for sure but I don’t look fat under 13 stone. I’m 5 ft 7. Hourglass so I carry weight well, maybe that helps but I didn’t hear OP saying shit about her weight. I’m just baffled where she’s hearing people praising slim people for sewing or running slowly.

OP is being ridiculous and I dont believe she is hearing these things but if she is its not about her weight its just about peoples comments

Im just correcting that 12 stone 10 isnt overweight, it is, unless you're a very tall man, even at 5.7 (Im 5.5) it will be in the overweight category

Theres a thread (or there was) about weight lifting with some snooty OP saying she is baffled that people are turning up to a weights class and not 'progressing', not 'lifting heavy enough', all sorts of judgey sneers about how other people are wanting to do exercise. That isnt based on the persons size, that was based on just what they're doing. So there will be always someone who comments on someone's hobbies and exercise, whether the hobbyist is fat or thin.

Yes, it is.

I don’t understand why runners need to discuss it soooo much.
Just run.

Nope. It isn’t.

But how do you know they wouldn't tell a thin person to get a life? They sound appallingly rude.

You're saying on one hand being fat isn't a problem but then also saying everyone says mean things
to you exclusively because of the fact you're fat?

I’ve been judged and had people comment on my weight my whole life. I’m “skinny” as many would put it (if you don’t like being called fat, don’t call people skinny - if you carry on calling people skinny, don’t be surprised if they call you fat). I’ve been questioned on my eating habits, had parts of my body pointed out where bones can be seen, had soooo many comments on my weight and looks and size. Strangely enough no GP has ever had an issue with my weight and yet every Tom, Dick and Harry does. But do you know what?… who gives a flying f*ck?! I definitely don’t. I do “boring” and “frumpy grannyish” hobbies. My friends think it’s hilarious and is something they would never do, and funnily enough they don’t think this due to my size, it’s because it’s hobbies that do unfortunately fit a certain stereotype. If you think of someone knitting you get an image of that person in your head, the same as if you think of someone who beat boxes or street dances or does parkour, someone who crochets, does paint by numbers, sewing or adult colouring books. Many people would think I need to get a life, but sometimes their idea of a life is getting smashed in the pub, staying out until 2am and maybe even doing recreational drugs. That’s their idea of a life, not mine. People will ALWAYS comment on your life, unfortunately. This is because there are unkind people in the world. You take from that what you want, or you can completely ignore the comments and carry on doing what makes you happy. People definitely don’t make these comments due to you being overweight.

I’m sure the people who keep arguing that slim people being called skinny isn't offensive are just trying to get a rise. But I’ll bite.
how is it not offensive when the first thing someone says to you is “eww aren't you skinny” and looks you up and down with a face of disgust?
when you’re at a meal with help yourself stuff and they constantly make comments on the types and quantities of food you are eating. To the point when later on you get accused of making yourself sick. “You can’t possibly eat that much and be that skinny”
Prodding you in the side to see if they can feel your ribs, announcing to rooms of people that you must be shit in bed “it’d be like riding a bag of bones” constant comments of watch out if the wind blows, watch you don’t fall down that drain, can you even pinch an inch etc etc
Not one person, multiple over the years, sometimes acquaintances, sometimes family, sometimes random members of the public.
It is rude and offensive and unkind.

Anyway, I’ll stop derailing your thread now OP, I’m off to make a cake and later I’ll be gardening. Your hobbies sound perfect to me, find your people and enjoy your hobbies.

Exactly this! I had someone comment on my “skinniness” years ago and saying something about how they prefer to have a cushion between themselves and a woman’s pubic bone when having sex (ie a layer of fat on the woman’s pubic bone). I was 17 years old and this was the Dad of my boyfriend at the time 🤢. Vile. People have PLENTY to say about being slim.

yes, you do sound obsessed with the idea everyone is focused on your weight or your hobbies.

They arent.

Yabu

I think you sound awesome @hobbiesevademe

It's rude to comment on other people's bodies, but we all know society views being thin as a win. Fat is demonised and we are fed a constant stream through the media about how we can and should stop being so fat and told how we can achieve thinness. Yes having your body commented on can be upsetting but being called fat is an absolutely loaded term in a way that skinny isn't

I'm sorry you've had nasty comments. But is this an issue about weight or just misogyny? I notice for example that my husband gets loads of praise for baking cakes and knitting where a woman might be told to get a life.