She watches my IG story daily AIBU to msg her

[neveraskingtime]

A friend of my late DP views my story everyday without fail. I haven't spoken to her since before the funeral after everyone in DP's orbit was strictly instructed not to associate with me. Those who did speak to me at the funeral were unfriended by the family.

I spoke to her a days before his death to arrange for her to visit him as I thought she might be able to help get DPs life back. His closest friends were actively addicted, so I wanted her (and his old group of mates) to replace them and help him recover.

It's been nearly 3 years now and she doesn't follow me but does check my story daily and has done daily for about 2 years.

I suppose it's possible that she's passing on information to the his circles but I honestly can't imagine they would be interested in what I'm doing after so much time.

I have not been able to retain a single link with anyone from DPs life because I think the general consensus is that I (indirectly) caused or contributed to his death, and that view was expressed but thankfully shut down immediately by the coroner at the inquest with no further inquiry or exploration along that line.
So....do I reach out?

I think you can hide your stories from people. I would do that. Or just block her. I wouldn't get in touch.

Why not?

What would you hope to get out of contacting her? What if it didn’t achieve what you are hoping for? Would you be able to accept that and manage ok emotionally?
sometimes as challenging as it is, it may be better to let it be and move forward.

Idk to me it seems like she's the one trying to initiate something but is apprehensive possibly because of how his friends and family might react if they found out. Probably doesn't want to be cast out of her own community.

You put up a story everyday? What sort of thing?

She is just nosey that’s all.

The most mundane room temperature meme shitposts imaginable and occasionally a homemade organic dish. I don't normally write anything or express an opinion on anything.

How do you know she's looking at your story? Just curious because I didn't know that was a thing.

It says her name and photo every time. I noticed that when I went to the Bahamas and posted it own my story that a few of his friends also viewed my story so I wonder if there's some group chat where she posts anything she finds scandalous. TBF I did wait a good 2 years after his death to go away...

Why did your DPs family instruct people not to speak to you?

I don’t understand what there is to ‘reach out’ about? Putting public stories out every single day means you want people to view them, and she’s a bit nosy. There’s nothing in this

I don’t think watching someone’s story means as much as you think. I scroll most days and just flick through the stories as they auto come up.

personally I would unfriend or de list her and just move on with your life

Set your profile to private (for so many reasons!)

Im really sorry op im struggling to understand.
you asked this friend to connect with dp to try to steer him away from addicts he was socialising with
sadly he died soon after
at the funeral your family told anyone he knew to stay away
you wonder if she would like to reconnect with you, and would be ok with this?

I would restrict to followers only not public.

Im not sure i understand the circumstances of you being outcast though. Was he an addict that went cold turkey?

I explained it in the original post, they believe that I participated in DPs death even though it was ruled an accident and they raised this opinion at the inquest. My Mother also remembers receiving a call from one of the parents saying something along the lines of 'had they not met, he would be alive still'.

Let sleeping dogs lie, nothing good will come from taking any action here.

That’s tough if your IG story is public. If you have public settings it’s public consumption. You don’t get to decide who sees it ? Just close your IG down to friends only. Problem solved.

He was an addict and died from an accidental overdose but the family seemed to believe that I caused the death and voiced that opinion at the inquest, but as I mentioned, the coroner abruptly shut that down as there was no evidence or suggestion to substantiate their claim.

I don't mind that she's looking I just wondered if it means anything.

Why are these people allowed to view your instagram after cutting you out if their lives? You can change privacy settings

I can’t see any point in asking her about it. What could she possibly say that would be a good outcome?

I suppose she might say she thinks you are interesting but would that make you feel happy?

She’s far more likely to ignore you or even to say something that you don’t like.

DPs family were not keen for anyone to interact with me further and everyone from his life abruptly stopped contact with me all at once right before the funeral. Three people who approached me at the funeral were unfriended by the family.

Ah ok, I understand now. I dont think it means anything per se, however it is obviously being used as a means to gossip if his other friends then viewed your holiday so you need to take it off public.

I really don't mind if people are gossiping about me, I gossip about other people all the time.

The inquest was clear in its findings and there was not even a second of entertainment by the coroner of any allegations made against me by the family.