She watches my IG story daily AIBU to msg her

[neveraskingtime]

A friend of my late DP views my story everyday without fail. I haven't spoken to her since before the funeral after everyone in DP's orbit was strictly instructed not to associate with me. Those who did speak to me at the funeral were unfriended by the family.

I spoke to her a days before his death to arrange for her to visit him as I thought she might be able to help get DPs life back. His closest friends were actively addicted, so I wanted her (and his old group of mates) to replace them and help him recover.

It's been nearly 3 years now and she doesn't follow me but does check my story daily and has done daily for about 2 years.

I suppose it's possible that she's passing on information to the his circles but I honestly can't imagine they would be interested in what I'm doing after so much time.

I have not been able to retain a single link with anyone from DPs life because I think the general consensus is that I (indirectly) caused or contributed to his death, and that view was expressed but thankfully shut down immediately by the coroner at the inquest with no further inquiry or exploration along that line.
So....do I reach out?

It doesn't bother me.

I also think that if you reached out, they may just ignore and stop watching your stuff, rather than engage. Which would also give you a bit of closure on this perhaps.

I don’t think it does bother her. She’s asking if she should get in touch, not complaining that she’s viewing.

They've made your loss much harder by their actions imo.

Please just live your life the very very best you can with all you have been through and keep these negative people out of your mind.

Yep. Be nice if we could all share photos but no such luck.

It's really digusting that his parents and friends are dealers/addicts and yet tried to blame his death on you, the non-user.

If she didn't have the gumption to support you at the time of your DP's death, she is weak and a bad friend. You don't need her now. Just block her and have nothing more to do with any of them. You deserve to be free of them and their toxicity.

She was more close with his friends and family so of course I could not have expected her loyalty to be to me

You need to put privacy settings on. It’s honestly odd that you are happy for people who treated you badly to see your content.

So sorry for the loss of your DP, and the way his family treated you.

Please ignore those people who are using this social media website to criticise and belittle you for your use of a social media website. Forgive them, for they know not what they do ....

I think you should contact her IF you feel emotionally robust enough to deal with the worst case scenario. (She ignores you? She gets back to you and says hateful things about you/your relationship/your role in DP's death?).

It is unlikely to give you the outcome you most want, but it will satisfy your curiosity which may otherwise torment you.

I hope you have good support systems in RL to help you deal with what must still be a very troubling and traumatic period of your life. X

It's not personal. If DP had not met me he would have become obsessed with another girl and she would also have been blamed for his death in a similar fashion.

You know what? People continually surprise me but rarely in a good way. It is a real shame you couldn't have shared photos for sure and had a support network. For that I am truly sorry. Go easy you.

💋

gosh some of the responses on here.

I was with my ex for 3 years and he did have some very quirky behaviours but I just thought maybe he was slightly on the spectrum. It wasn’t until I gave up my job 2 years after we met and moved to live with him ( he lived almost 2 hours away ) I realised I’d made a huge mistake. Turned out he had a full on cocaine, viagra and porn addiction.

His mother and sister both turned out to be alcoholics and it transpired his dad let him watch pornography from the age of 9. He used steroids in his teens and 20’s and his first wife left him for a woman. His second wife was a fair bit older and used him for money for IVF. Their first child was stillborn and the second was donor sperm. When she had him, 6 months later she ended their relationship which bought up all this unresolved trauma and he turned to addiction.

however, according to his parents it was my fault because they only discovered his habits after we got together and during the year we lived together he did some awful things to me. I had him arrested for coming at me with a knife and locking me outside the house completely naked. This of course was the end of our relationship but I received some pretty terrible messages from his family.

I heard through the grapevine he almost died twice and had to be resuscitated, his ex stopped contact with his child, he lost his house and was living in his car and got suspended from work after beating up a fellow drug user for stealing his tv ( he worked for the local government so had to have a clean sheet). Last I heard he’d suffered a massive breakdown and had a serious heart attack.

I often get his friends and family look at the crap stories I post too and I just ignore it. It’s your social media page, so do with it what you wish. It’s social media… aren’t things supposed to be “social” and viewable at your discretion?

aside from all of that, I hope you are ok OP. You still lost someone you obviously loved.

God damn. Glad you got away from that. Who has custody of his kid?

Your situation is similar to mine. I married an addict. I had no idea he was one until he died and the toxicology report came back. His parents also blame me.

Just get a private restricted profile. Otherwise as you say anyone can view your stories.

Do they have any particular justification for doing so?

According to them, I was a domestic abuser who drove him to his fate.

How can a bunch of disparate people on the internet know what this one person is up to though?

I'm confused. Any opinion is pure conjecture surely?

Sorry ...?

Stop posting then, you’re probably boring everyone rigid.

They believe i made him so unhappy that I drove him to drugs. In the same breath they also believe that I'm lying about the cause of death, even though it's clearly written on the death certificate.

Some people watch everyone’s story. I don’t think it necessarily means she’s interested in what you’re doing. But most people don’t post stories every day, so she probably just needs something to watch while eating her lunch and there you are posting constantly.

It means you have popped up on her feed ,that's all.

I'm sorry you have this in your life. This is shit. Some people are small minded and have to blame someone.

What I was getting at is that we have no way of knowing if this person has sinister motives or if they are just nosey. I imagine just nosey. If she was trying to get the verdict overturned and/or his death otherwise investigated, you would have known by now.

Some people are like a terrier with a bone. Don't waste your energy on them. You have gone through enough.

Pretty similar situation here. Pretty strange as I constantly kept his parents abreast of his medical complaints and phsycial decline.